I read this post initially on Tuesday and wanted to comment then, but wanted to think on it a shade first. I have a penchant for making comments too long, but will try to keep it short.

First off, you mentioned at the end that you are going to die alone. I am 27 years old, have never been on a date, or even gone as far as kissing another. I am outstandingly shy in the majority of situations and since I am a guy and expected to approach others, this seals my fate. If you have any data that you have achieved more in the realm of relationships, I call to question the “die alone” claim on your behalf, though I know it was posed in a joking manner.

I have the basic mindset that any lady being nice and staying around me for any amount of time is either being nice, having fun, acting as though they feel they are socially obligated to, or trying to see how I would react to such subtle overtures as a joke. I have thus blinded myself to all but the most obvious of signs. If a lady that I was at all attracted to said that they thought they might like more or would like me to see me sometime, I would not hesitate unless fairly obvious signs of malice intent were seen. Perhaps this is because I cannot imagine a lady truly being interested in one such as I, though I have no good reason for this stance.

In regards to some of the previous comments, I would probably be very slow moving forward without an external push. If theoretically I had been out a time or two with a lady and she just said that she was interested, I would completely believe her. Conversely, if early on measures were taken that seemed intent on carnal activities, I would more likely shy away because then it would seem as though she were just looking for “fun” and not something more meaningful. I have a propensity to fall easily, so such an arrangement would more like than not be detrimental to me.

Also, I have a strong desire to be “good” and not fall to the trappings that many guys I have seen have fallen to. I am overly respectful and actually get upset with guys when they talk or ladies in a disrespectful or objectified manner. Due to this, I find it easier to talk to and be around ladies than guys, but my position in such situations seems to be closer to brother or eunuch than anything else. Which is fine as long as others don’t feel uncomfortable with me around and I can possibly bring some light or happiness to their existence.

To conclude, I am too shy to approach anyone, I don’t know if it is a hidden fear of rejection or what I see it as, a desire not to make the lady feel uncomfortable or in any way induce negativity through my intentional actions. As such, I have mostly resigned myself to my fate of forever being alone. If you have a plausible way to prevent this that even one such as I can do, feel free to let me know. Either way I will try to keep helping others and doing what I can to make their existences better, if only for a moment, before to loneliness eventually finishes crushing me.

(this is the reduced version, self edited for tangents, some unimportant content, and the ilk; nothing included herein is something I would not be willing to say to you or another in person; by the way, it you remember me you actually know me from a college in Loudonville that I graduated in 2005)

Case in point: Last month I was out dancing. A very handsome and charming guy was dancing in such a way that he wanted to dance with me and probably get to know me better. I needed a glass of water and ranted to my friend that no guy was even looking at me and I’m a relatively attractive gal. She bopped me on the side of the head and pointed out the guy who had been trying to get my attention all night. I hadn’t noticed him because he was being subtle. We ended up having a nice conversation, but it led to nothing. And through no fault of either of us – he was called with a family emergency and fled to handle it.

On the other hand, I did notice two guys who were also attracted to me that same night. And they were the creepy kinds.

I have given up on even trying.

Keep writing–I enjoy reading your blog from a guy’s perspective.

Having known you for years, I can say that you are good at flirting.

My own problem is that I need to be hit with a frying pan or something when it comes to men. I’m oblivious to come-on’s. So only the crazy ones, the ones with the outlandish behavior, gets my attention. The nice guy who is just dancing near me? I don’t notice it because I’m so caught up in feeling awkward. The crazy guy who tries to monopolize my time? Well, I notice that…

So I think my thing is that I’m probably not the only woman who is clueless about subtle reactions. Maybe the girl is waiting for that obvious sign you like her and when she’s not sure she’s getting it, she leaves.

I agree with #4 that the best pick-up is having a great conversation with someone, covering anything of common interest, from pop culture, to world events, to your personal story (where’d you grow up, that sort of thing). Once you discover what makes them tick you can be more creative and personalize your approach (i.e. she loves Mexican food, so invite her over for taco night!).

When I got together with my current boyfriend (of almost two years) he took me to a pet shop so we could pick out a birthday gift for his friend’s 4 year old son (he bought him a hermit crab, by the way). I thought it was the sweetest thing! And countless other times he has said or done something based on some small observation of something I liked or wanted to try. Expressing interest in someone else and their interests is usually all it takes to figure out whether their interest is mutual. And, like #3 said, if they’re not, then move on to the next object of your affection.

P.S. I believe that true love is out there for everyone, and you will find it so long as you keep looking.

P.P.S. And keep writing… smart guys are sexy!

And there you have it! Kevin Marshall in the Present Tense has created its first love connection!

#8 (Michael) said the same thing I’ve mentioned in the past. :)

Jess, find out who #11 is, and get some dinner!

Finally, if I had been there, I could have done the, “you know my friend over there…” just like in 7th grade.

I too am the biggest chicken when it comes to the “dating” game, which is why I choose NOT to be single. I have no idea how I’d manage if I were single again. I’d probably join you in the “I’m going to die alone” party!

What’re you doing later?

PS: YOU put the diamond ring in there.