Comments on: We’re Having the Wrong Conversation over Gay Teen’s Suicide

By: Victoria Roth

Victoria Roth — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 02:20:56 +0000

When you come back, share this video. This is the conversation that needs to be had.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax96cghOnY4&feature=player_embedded#!

By: April

April — Tue, 12 Oct 2010 18:51:50 +0000

Wow – by far one of the best blog posts I’ve read on this issue. Well done!

By: Katie Maffucci

Katie Maffucci — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 20:29:48 +0000

When gays are not allowed to marry the person they love or serve openly in the military, I would imagine that discourages many gay teens and sends the message that they can’t live a “normal” life, no matter how hard they try. That being said, America doesn’t reserve the right to act shocked when something like this happens. Luckily, people’s attitudes are changing.

Awesome blog post!

By: Craig B.

Craig B. — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 16:59:17 +0000

This is tragic, but I am a little torn.
Can we say that this ONE incident led to his suicide?

I feel like he may have had other problems in addition to this, and the resulting incident was the ultimate trigger that made him commit suicide.

I guess it could have been the result of a lifetime of shame about being made to feel bad about being gay, then not being able to handle the public scrutiny of being exposed.

But you make a valid point that the conversation should be about the attitudes of people toward homosexuality.

By: HomeTownGirl

HomeTownGirl — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 16:37:26 +0000

I agree with Donna H, the invasion of privacy is an issue here. As a female, I would be horrified if someone were to video such a private moment (whether it be with a man or a woman) and circulate it online.

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 13:34:42 +0000

Great post. I agree with you 100%.

By: derryX

derryX — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 11:55:02 +0000

I agree, Kev, that the issue for the more recent cyberbullying cases are rooted in this deeper issue of acceptance and equality and are centered around the “gay” topic. Cyberbullying has affected non-gay people in the past. One case that received alot of attention is this one: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312018,00.html. [sorry to link to a fox news, but it has the gist of the whole story]

So, yes, right now, the media is focused around all of these stories regarding gay males who are committing suicide for whatever reason, but cyberbullying is becoming a much broader epidemic.

I also want to say that I’m done feeling bad for the Star Wars kid (http://derryx.com/?p=745). That kid spent years misinterpreting cyberbullying for adulation and gave up a shot to turn it into something good.

By: irisira

irisira — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 10:24:07 +0000

Though I totally agree with your post (as demonstrated from my initial comment), to address #13, a guy probably would not, you’re right. But, a young woman might. The shame placed on women for having sex is not the same level as the shame placed on men and women for being gay, but it is there, and it is real.

However, I reiterate that I agree the invasion of privacy is a symptom, not the disease.

By: Kevin Marshall

Kevin Marshall — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 01:17:31 +0000

Donna – not downplaying invasion of privacy. But something tells me if an 18-year-old straight kid is videotaped having sex, he’s a lot less likely to commit suicide because he didn’t want people to know he was straight.

By: Donna H

Donna H — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 01:11:51 +0000

I hear you, Bill.

Kevin, yes, everything you said but I think the invasion of privacy issue is no small thing.

If you’re a modest, private person and this had happened to you, it could very well make anyone feel that way. As young as Tyler was and still identifying with who he was, I think it’s a fair assumption that he wasn’t horribly experienced yet. I’m straight and if this had happened to me at that age — hell, if it did now — I’d at least feel like crawling in the corner and dying.

I think you’re downplaying the invasion of privacy too much. I’d be utterly mortified at the idea of a videotape of me on the internet in an intimate moment. Perhaps to the same extent Tyler was.

I really think that there’s a horrible lack of understanding for the shy and modest these days too and that it definitely played a factor here. Do you really thing Tyler wouldn’t have felt any differently had he been with a girl?

I hope they find some way to put these two monsters ($@*ing @$$holes way too kind) away for a long, long time. I think they should suffer.