Kevin Marshall's America
Marcus Bachmann
Some of you may recognize that line as a lyrics from the Denis Leary song “A**hole.” If you’re like me and you hate people pointing out the obvious, you better buckle down and summon up all the patience you have because you’re going to need it over the course of the next couple weeks.
The heatwave that’s engulfed the Midwest is heading our way, and the Times Union is ON IT:
Along with the rest of the state, the Capital Region is bracing for Wednesday’s arrival of a heat wave that has baked the central U.S. for days. The National Weather Service is warning that the heat index — a measure combining temperature and humidity — could make it feel the equivalent of 105 degrees or more in some places by Thursday.
So until you’re SEEN trying to beat the heat and before A Reader Asks what they should do, here’s some helpful tips that will make this forthcoming weather much more tolerable for all of us:
- Find someone with a pool.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Do not over-exert yourself physically in triple digit weather.
- Get one of those fancy fans that Southern belles have, but don’t wear those big thick flowing dresses they wear.
- Do not tweet about the heat.
- Do not post Facebook statuses about the heat.
- Do not blog about the heat (fair warnings such as this one notwithstanding).
- Give some money to help NY Special Olympics, which relies on your generosity to provide assistance to 47,000 (and counting) student athletes and families free of charge. Because, see, you’ll feel good about helping those who need it, and that’ll distract you from how hot it is.
As always: you’re welcome, America.
Yes, folks, it’s Ace of Base Day.
In the early 90s, as I teetered on the brink of adolescence and struggled to understand the changes in my body and mind, the singin’ Swedes with the thick house beats were there for me. They taught me, and all of us, so much:
- It’s a beautiful life.
- No one’s gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong.
- It’s not a day for work, it’s a day for catching tan.
- All that she wants is another baby.
- DON’T TURN AROUND.
And there’s no better way to show your appreciation for Ace of Base than to donate to a worthy cause, the Special Olympics of NY. The Base would approve.
Click the pic to donate!
So this is my busy season at work, hence commentaries on current events being replaced with posts about Kitty Cat Warriors and hipster scumbags trying to drag their babies into a bar with them. I finally listened to a voicemail I received last week from one of the organizers behind “Over the Edge,” who had wanted to see how my fundraising was going and if I had any questions.
Whoops!
So anyway, here’s my pitch:
I’m participating in Over the Edge, which is a benefit for the New York chapter of the Special Olympics. The first 100 individuals to raise over $1,000 will have the pleasure of repelling off the side of the Crowne Plaza.
Why not make me one of those?
A little bit goes a long way. Even as little as $10 will help. If I don’t get to repel down the side of the Crowne Plaza Hotel, who cares? The worst that will happen is that money will go to a great cause. But to help us get to that point and more importantly raise more funds for the Special Olympics, I’ve come up with some incentives for you:
Not pictured: Kevin Marshall, who on September 16th might DIE
With a donation of…
$50 - You get a personal shout-out from YOURS TRULY on Twitter! Holy crap, that’s hyooooge!
$100 – You’ll be added to the Official Honor Roll of Awesome Individuals and mentioned in a blog post! Sweet sassy molassy, that’s even hyooger!
$150 – I will write a flattering, borderine romantic (or outright – your preference) poem about you and post it to the blog. Minimum of 8 lines.
$200 – I will write a blog post on the topic of your choosing. Minimum 400 words.
$300 – I’ll wear any item of clothing, your choice, at the event so long as it doesn’t interfere with safety.
We need to be one of the first 100 participants to raise $1,000 by September 1st. There’s no time to wait! Give now!
To make your donation, CLICK HERE
Also, share the Facebook event: Throw Kevin Marshall off the top of the Crowne Plaza Hotel!
Rebekah Brooks (photo courtesy the Associated Press)
Rebekah Brooks, former editor of News of the World and CEO of News International until she resigned last week, has been arrested.
Prior to her resignation, Brooks headed the British wing of Rupert Murdoch’s global media empire. The relationship was never chilly, not even after word broke that under her directive some 4,000 (and counting) people had their phones and voicemails hacked by News of the World, Britain’s largest tabloid which ceased operations after 168 years in operation due to the scandal. That closing, in fact, was done in large part in an attempt to protect Brooks from further scrutiny.
Brooks arrest isn’t the end of the investigation, and it’s likely that as much as people try to poo-poo it, Murdoch himself is going to be called into account. Brooks was his protege and the two were very close. Murdoch not having knowledge of the practice is impossible, particularly since many in the media and government had known for years that it was standard practice at the paper.
Last week it was reported that the FBI was investigating concerns that victims of the September 11th attacks were also victims of the UK’s phone hacking policy.
Outrageously, Murdoch’s American wing of his news/media empire is trying to spin him and the former paper as victims in the affair and asking why they’re getting so much flack in a “media pile-on” while Citibank and the Pentagon were also hacked into in the last year.
I’m going to let that sit for a minute and assure you that, yes, you read it correctly. Fox News wants you to think that the VICTIMS of hacking, including the United States government, are in the same boat as the PERPETRATORS.
See the video below. I’ll let the ridiculousness speak for itself, except to say that the insinuation that “99%” of the current staff at News of the World that lost their jobs certainly were NOT innocent. There are and have been investigations and arrests related to phone hacking and police bribery that occurred as late as last year, and that’s only what’s been released publicly. The outrage here isn’t just that it happened so long ago, but that it continued for so long.
For a bonus giggle, check out the end where their expert urges us to move on to matters of greater importance. Then check out what they immediately segue to.
My brother Jack and nephew Caden
True story.
My brother, whose son Caden turns one year old next week (he is an adorable little monster), works as a bouncer at a bar down in NYC. For the purposes of this story, I need to reiterate: this place is a bar, not a bar/restaurant/pub/TGI Friday’s. Bands don’t perform behind chicken wire, but it’s not a place you’re going to take your grandparents for brunch, either. He was working the night before last. The night was hot, the music was loud, and a crowd of 7 people had baby with them at 9:30pm. My brother made a bold proclamation: no, you cannot bring that tiny little infant into the bar with you.
What a revelation. I didn’t know there were FASCISTS in my family.
The father and the six accompanying him were dumbfounded. None of them could understand or comprehend why this lanky, tattooed, bald Irishman with fierce eyes that bore a striking resemblance to an Upstate sex symbol and Times Union blogger was telling them that they couldn’t bring a baby of all things into abar with them while they got lit up.
The astonishment quickly turned to frustration and debate. The man holding the baby, presumably the father, tried to level with my brother.
“Well it just sucks when you have a baby and you can’t go out with your friends.”
Before he had a baby of his own, my brother probably would have just told him to f*** off, but Jack done gone soft. “I have a baby at home and there’s nothing that sucks about it.”
Meanwhile, 175 miles North of the altercation, I inexplicably threw up in my mouth a little.
"Not letting me in?! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!"
After some more debate, he finally told the argumentative crew that they had to leave. I didn’t ask, but I imagine the baby had a laminated ID that you buy from those little tiny shops in Chinatown that said he was twenty-three years old.
Thing is, though, my brother is spoiled. He has a baby boy that started sleeping through the night fairly early, is a joy to be around, can actually entertain himself, and has a fantastic smile. Also, he and his wife have people that will babysit for them if they need it, not that they ever take advantage of it. They’re too busy being lame-o with their baby and not bringing them out to bar shows so they can get tore up with friends.
A week from Sunday is Caden’s birthday first birthday party. I unfortunately can’t make it down that weekend, as I’m in my busy season at work and I’ve already made arrangements to go down the following weekend after things settle down. So I won’t get to enjoy him blowing out the candles on his first birthday cake. Hopefully I’ll be able to make it up to him the following weekend.
I’m thinking I’ll take him to The Mercury Lounge.
IF YOU’RE DOWN IN NYC, my brother’s band So Hideous, My Love… is having their record release party on Monday, July 25th at the Charleston on Bedford Ave. with Risk and Toaster. Show starts at 8:00pm and is only 7 bucks.
BONUS: Caden’s first steps towards the night life.
An internal dialogue I had with myself about Warriors, the series of books about feral cats who live by a special cat code from Harper Collins.
——
Hey, what’s “Warriors?”
It’s a children’s book series. Been around since 2003 or 2004
Ohhhhhh. So they’re cat people?
Well, no. They’re just cats. Feral cats that live in forest homes and operate in clans that were created by cats like themselves. The clans are named after these cats, who developed a code of honor they all must abide.
And they wear people clothes.
No. They’re cats and they do cat things.
But while walking on their hind legs and—
—NO. THEY’RE JUST CATS.
And it’s for serious?
Yes.
Wow. I bet whoever created and writes this thing smells absolutely awful.
The author, Erin Hunter, is actually a Harper Collins creation and serves as a pseudonym for three other authors and counting. It’s overseen by an editor who was charged with creating a franchise about feral cats.
Wait, so the Editor and writers didn’t come up with the idea?
No. In fact, when given the assignment, she poo-pooed it.
Wait. There was an executive at Harper Collins who said “we must have a series of books about feral cats who travel in clans and fight each other, come Hell or high water?”
It certainly looks that way.
That’s ridiculous…but it’s, like, super popular!
Shows what we know, right?
Guess so.
Hey, have you seen the website?
No. Why?
Go to it now. Make sure your speakers are on and check out the flash intro.
*falls out of chair laughing*
Ow. My hip.
Sorry.
——
Hey, I’m not being snarky about it. It’s a book for kids and it’s wildly popular. It seems, too, like it delves into some very serious issues that its target audience isn’t ordinarily exposed to, and does so in an effective and entertaining way. I give them nothing but kudos for all of it. I just find the whole concept of this process fascinating, in that some executive not only thought this would work but that it did and then some.
I mean, look at the book covers:
Apparently, their Jesus was Morris the Cat from the old "9 Lives" commercials.
More ridiculousness after the jump.
Titus Andronicus, forever.
TITUS ANDRONICUS is headlining this year’s Rest Fest on August 27th and 28th at St. Joe’s in Albany! Day passes are still only $15, full weekend $20.
That’s an absolute freaking steal considering all the awesome acts playing that weekend. And especially TITUS ANDRONICUS.
Did I mention TITUS ANDRONICUS is headlining?
Also headlining is Deer Tick, who themselves have quite a following (and are one of NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams’s favorite bands). What I’ve heard of theirs I like, but TITUS ANDRONICUS is a personal favorite of mine. Which is why I keep writing TITUS ANDRONICUS in all caps.
They join The Music Tapes and A Hawk and a Hacksaw as the main out-of-towners for the festival, which also features the best local acts you’ll find: Sgt. Dunbar and the Hobo Banned, Red Lions, We Are Jeneric, Scientific Map, Matthew Carefully (with the Undone Ensemble), Scientific Maps, the Stomping Jug Ramblers, Barons in the Attic, Swamp Baby, Alta Mira, Slender Shoulders and more!
After the jump: preview the lineup with tons of music videos & live performances from Deer Tick (live on Letterman), Titus Andronicus, A Hawk and a Hacksaw, the Music Tapes, Sgt. Dunbar, and Alta Mira.
Truth spit like hot fire straight from the mouths of Glove and Boots: part improv, part internet satire, and all hilarious puppetry.
Check out their other, equally funny episodes about creating a blog, movies, and bed bugs, just to name a few.
There are many surprising, shocking, and outrageous aspects to the revelation and extent of News of the World‘s invasive phone hacking. One of the more intriguing ones to me personally is the total lack of shame and decorum shown by guilty parties. In the above video, writer/comedian Steve Coogan and former BBC Director General Greg Dyke sit in on a news program panel with former News of the World editor and contributor Paul McMullen. Coogan and Dyke alternate between outrage and outright astonishment at McMullen’s defense of the practice. He sees nothing wrong with what was done and seems to regret more that they won’t be able to get away with it any longer.
His stance and some statements border on self-parody, but the man himself likely believes it, as does the rest of the staff of the now defunct 168-year-old British institution. On Sunday, after completing their last day of work, the staff triumphantly marched out of the building in a show of unity, holding the final edition of the paper that bore the headline “Thank You and Goodbye.” None of them hid their faces in shame, nor did they show regret for what the paper had done or become. Rather than hang their head in shame they held them high, while Britain stood agape at their audacity.
Yet, all knew of the not only illegal but highly unethical practices being employed by the paper. Four thousand individuals – and that’s just a conservative estimates – had their privacy violated for the sake of pushing a yellow rag that masqueraded as a public service. Common sense dictates that everyone knew it was happening, but reports go further than that and state that it was a very well known practice amongst not just the News of the World but the police that were paid off and, more often than not, the victims who were told that pursuing justice was a fruitless endeavor due to corruption at various levels of the justice system and British Parliament (Andy Coulson, whose last job was as Prime Minister David Cameron‘s Press Secretary, was arrested late last week).
But there were no victims of circumstance amongst the former staff of the Murdoch paper. Not even Murdoch himself, who must have known what his right hand, Rebekah Brooks, was doing. Yet they were defiant to the end, because just like McMullen, in their mind no wrong was done. This is the danger of breaking ethical guidelines on a regular basis: it becomes the norm, and with it comes a sense that they’re entitled to do the wrong thing with no repercussions.
Many who marched and cheered after their final day at work will end up with work elsewhere…that is, if they can avoid jail sentences. Surely, many will avoid it by turning over evidence to authorities. In the end, though, whether they’re behind bars or narrowly avoiding it, that sense of guilt over what they’ve done will elude them. Someone just went too far and got caught, that’s all, and it’s worth it in the end for a dollar and glory.
After more than 168 years, Britain’s News of the World will permanently cease operations effective this Sunday.
It all started with a scandal over five years ago, when it was revealed that a journalist had hired a private investigator to hack into the phones of hundreds of mobile phones. The reporter plead guilty, but it was revealed to be far from an isolated incident when The Guardian revealed that journalists hacked into a missing girl’s voicemail and deleted messages, giving family members the mistaken impression she might still be alive. She was found dead several months later.
Four days and three arrests later, it’s been announced that Parliament will launch a public inquiry into the matter and News of the World has been permanently shut down by parent company News International, part of Rupert Murdoch‘s News Corp conglomerate (which stateside is best known for 20th Century Fox and Fox News).
Over the course of four days a publication goes from #1 to shut down. Crazy.
Coverage from The Guardian:
- Missing girl’s phone was hacked by News of the World
- Family of murdered girl shocked by hacking revelations
- Investigative journalist Nick Davies gives a timeline and summation of the events that led to the closing
- Read the announcement on News of the World’s Website
STALK ME
