Kevin Marshall's America
Not to be outdone by the White House, Trump has released a long-form certificate of his own to back up claims he’s made:
Context: Trump tells Talk Radio 1300 “I have a great relationship with the Blacks”
click for full size
But WAIT A MINUTE – his mother signed it on August 7th, but the attendant did not sign it until ONE DAY LATER. Also, he has a II next to his name, which indicates that he is either a clone or a robot.
WHAT’S GOING ON YOU GUYS IS OBAMA EVEN A REAL HUMAN BEING?
William and Kate, a familiar refrain?
Are William and Kate married yet?
No?
Jesus Christ, what’s taking so long? With all the media coverage of the Royal wedding, I feel like it actually started three weeks ago but we’ve been forced to sit through an awkward pause created by the wedding photographer putzing around with his equipment.
In these last few weeks certain media outlets, in particular NBC News, have been obsessing over the forthcoming nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton to a degree usually reserved for disturbed ex-girlfriends. When the coverage first kicked into high gear the networks hit the ground running with such an intense pace that I assumed the wedding itself was occurring later that week. When that didn’t happen, I had assumed it would be the week after. Then came another week, and another. It got to the point where I couldn’t remember a time where Kate and Willie weren’t engaged. I thought back to my first kiss and swear I could hear Meredith Veira in the background talking about Middleton’s stylist and how those guards can’t move or smile for any reason – EVER!
The marriage of the second in line to an overseas crown whose power and influence is purely ceremonial and metaphorical must be of great interest to the American people. Otherwise, why would so many countless hours be dedicated on broadcast networks and associated cable news channels to the Royal wedding? Plus, as any Editor who has ever been called upon to explain the presence of inexplicable tripe on their front page will tell you, the news media exists purely at the whim of the public. It is a one-way street, and if you think you see a car coming down the wrong side of that street, it must be because you are facing the wrong way.
Never mind that I don’t know a single person who has spoken a word aloud in my presence concerning William, Kate, or any of their family members, not even on accident or in a roundabout way.
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Geeks gather to discuss everything but foreign policy, trade, and all those other things that bring about world change and conflict. Photo courtesy the Albany Comic Con's official Facebook page at Facebook.com/AlbanyComicCon
Two weeks ago, I was at the Albany Comic Con and ran into my roommate. He was standing in front of a camera giving an interview for a forthcoming web series being produced by local independent filmmakers called “Super Knocked Up.” Without getting into too many details, it is about exactly what you think it is.
They asked him several questions pertaining to super-heroes for a promotional video they were putting together: what super-power would you most like to have, who is your favorite super-hero, what comic book movie are you most looking forward to, and other expected comic-related fare. About four questions in he was interrupted by Obi-Wan Kenobi, who needed to bypass the interview to get into his room (located in the courtyard holding the Convention).
Once Obi-Wan had retrieved whatever it was from his room that he needed so desperately (it wasn’t a lightsaber, that much is certain) the interview concluded. My roommate introduced me to the two conducting the interview, acquaintances of his, and asked if I’d like to help contribute. I said yes, gladly, because I never turn down an opportunity for self-promotion.
We conducted the same interview I had just overheard, pausing for Convention announcements and the occasional raffle drawing. Then came the final question.
“Why do geeks rule the world?”
“They don’t,” I replied.
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Next Thursday, April 28th, you’ll get a chance to have breakfast with your favorite blogger and raise money for a great cause.
It’s all part of the 2011 Dining Out for Life event to benefit the AIDS Council of Northeast New York. Eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner at participating locations and 25% of your bill will go to the AIDS Council of Northeastern New York. Even better, all the money you help raise is guaranteed to be spent right here in the Capital Region.
To that end, I’ll be at FLAVOUR CAFE (228 4th Street, Troy) from 7:30am – 10:00am for breakfast, and want you all to join me. I’m hoping to line up a few other willing participants from the blogosphere as well. It’ll be a great opportunity to hang out, chat, network, and raise money for a very worthy cause. Last year’s Dine-Out-a-Thon netted in excess of $48,000. Let’s see if we can top that, no?
If you can’t make it out on Thursday and still want to contribute, you can do so at their online donation page.
Corn, obviously.
A sharp rift has developed in the Empire State, creating a fault line that threatens to forever separate us from each other while wreaking havoc and destruction in its wake.
The source of the tension: vegetables.
Despite having an official fruit and bird (the apple and the bluebird respectively), New York finds itself without an officially recognized and designated State vegetable. To address this woeful void in Empire State Pride, the New York Farmer’s Bureau put up a poll on Facebook and asked people to choose between Sweet Corn or the Onion.
The people spoke, and Sweet Corn was the winner.
Well, sort of. Only 1,200 people participated in the voluntary poll, which some argue was not marketed effectively enough to reach a desired audience that would care and be informed on such matters. Onion is also the official vegetable in one form or another for three other states – Georgia, Texas, and Utah. In Washington State they named the official State vegetable the “Walla Walla Sweet Onion,” but I refuse to recognize it on the basis of it sounds stupid.
Not surprisingly, the debate was born out of partisan politics. Democratic State Sen. David Carlucci of New York City introduced a bill in support of the black dirt onion as the official State vegetable, while his sworn nemesis Sen. Michael Nozzolio, a Republican out of Lafayette, suggested corn. In choosing the onion, Carlucci is no doubt pandering in an empty gesture to certain constituents that desire we tax and spend the Hell out of our crops, artificially inflating the vegetable to an undeserved status. Nozzolio, on the other hand, is a sweet corn booster, no doubt because he subscribes to the internet conspiracy theory that states onions aren’t actually grown in the United States despite all evidence to the contrary.
So, should a Facebook poll be the end of it? Are we stuck with sweet corn, or should we give the onion a chance?
And what about the other two obvious choices: cabbage, which is the State’s most abundant vegetable, and Carl Paladino? Both were tragically left out of this debate. Politics as usual in the All-America City.
Share your thoughts and let us know which side you’re on. But please, keep it civil if you can.
Note: the legalization of Mixed Martial Arts, a real issue whose absence is losing us literally millions upon millions of dollars in revenue every year to nearby States such as New Jersey, is still not being addressed by the State Legislature.
Boy cake, girl cake
Ever hear of Gender Parties?
I suppose I’m a little late to the, er, party on this one, but I just heard about this practice the other day. It’s a gathering where expectant parents invite (re: obligate) family and friends to celebrate the announcement of their child’s gender. The twist is that the parents themselves don’t know yet, either. They’ll typically get the results from the doctor in a sealed envelope, deliver it to the baker, then discover the sex of the baby when they cut into the cake and see blue if a boy and pink if a girl (‘natch).
…why?
I read up on the practice a bit. I don’t write for the New York Times, so I won’t insult your intelligence by dishonestly inferring that this is some huge trend that’s sweeping the nation. However, it’s been around for a couple years now and there are enough people doing it to warrant my attention. To wit, there are no shortage of videos on YouTube of parents sharing their exaltation with the whole world, because apparently subjecting a captive audience of family and friends to your narcissism simply isn’t enough.
Okay, that’s mean and perhaps a bit unfair. Still, while I don’t know anybody who’s personally done this, I have to ask: is this where we’re headed? I don’t mean gender parties specifically, but what they represent. Why are these videos on YouTube? Is mine a generation where everything someone does has to be treated with blustery fanfare and exposed to the whole world? Why do you think strangers on the internet care what sex your baby is? Aren’t there any moments that are private anymore?
My first reaction is to blame reality television or the internet for giving people the mistaken impression that all aspects of their personal lives should be broadcast to the world and celebrated as a momentous achievement. I wonder, however, if we’re not confusing cause for effect, and if reality television and internet overexposure isn’t a symptom of a greater disease; a culture of entitlement that’s been fostered since the baby boom of the 1950s.
The crime of it all is that stuff like Baby Gender Parties take what should be a tender, memorable moment for the parents and twists it into narcissistic minutae for everybody else. If you’re going to post videos, it should be of the baby itself being adorable and cute and doing unintentionally funny things. That’s why people are there and why people are interested: for the baby itself, not because you made one and to see your reaction as you celebrate your ability to procreate. Worst of all, you get strangers and jerks like me on the internet making fun of you for it.
For these parents, I can only hope that this is not an indication of things to come for the Gender Party Baby. If it is, then I have a message for that baby.
To the Former Gender Party Babies reading this from the future: I am so sorry. I’m sorry for what my generation, and specifically your parents, have done to you, which is to take potentially beautiful moments and fetishized them for their own personal validation and entertainment. There are those of us that, if it were within our power and our right to do so, would have stopped it. But hey, it’s a free country, and people are able to make their own choices when it comes to carrying and raising children. Unfortunately, that means you had to suffer through no shortage of embarrassment and tasks forced upon you so they could be recorded for faux posterity, and you likely developed a complex from parents that were disappointed at your inability to produce a viral video. Well, Former Gender Party Baby, I think you’re just fine. Don’t measure your self-worth by how many eyes on the internet are on you and commenting on your videos. Your accomplishments will be measured by less tangible but more meaningful ways, like by those around you that love you (even if they show it in very weird and self-centered ways). More importantly, though, they will be measured in your own feeling of self-worth, which I hope you are able to foster despite your parents pathologically confusing self-esteem for self-delusion.
Now go forth, Future Gender Baby! Do great things and keep your flip phone in your pocket while you’re doing it. Be better than us. Create memories and great moments, don’t manufacture them.
Author, advocate, conman: Greg Mortenson
Last night, the CBS news magazine “60 Minutes” aired a piece on Greg Mortenson, charging that the author and philanthropist fabricated many of the stories recounted in his best-selling books. The investigation also unveiled information that suggests his non-profit, the Central Asia Institute, was simply a front for Mortenson to publicize his for-profit ventures under the guise of building schools for children overseas.
In his first book, Three Cups of Tea, Mortenson relayed a near-death experience he faced after a failed effort to ascend the top of K2, the second-highest mountain on Earth, on the border of China and Pakistan. Like something out of a bad film or a trite young adult novel, Mortenson claims he became lost but was saved and nursed back to health by the residents of a nearby Pakistani village by the name of Korphe. Upon coming back to health, he proclaims that he’ll return one day and build a school.
The story has been revealed to be as fake as it sounds. Several people, including companions on Mortenson’s failed K2 ascent, let it slip that he hadn’t even heard of Korphe, let alone been to the village, until his next visit to the region over a year later.
Other accusations transcend the inclusion of tall tales in his memoirs. He’s also accused of using his non-profit organiztion, the Central Asia Institute, as a piggy bank to publicize his for-profit ventures. The organization released only one financial statement in over fourteen years of existence. In that statement, $1.9 million of the funds raised through the organization are spent on what is described as “book-related expenses.” The amount is more than was disclosed as being spent on all the schools combined.
Well, assuming it went to those schools at all. The “60 Minutes” crew visited the schools CAI claimed to have constructed and found most were abandoned buildings and others were actually constructed and maintained by other organization. One school Principal told the crew he had not received funds promised by CAI the last several years.
As if that wasn’t enough, its seems Mortenson even fabricated a story about being held prisoner by the Taliban for over a week and identified the kidnappers as individuals he took a picture with during his time in Pakistan. The men themselves have vehemently denied any association with the Taliban. One of them is a research director for a high profile organization in Islamabad.
It doesn’t surprise me that someone thinks they can get away with telling outrageous lies and using money donated under the pretense of educating the poorest of the poor in far away lands to line their own pockets. What does surprise me is that Mortenson has been getting away with it for so long, despite all the accusations leveled against him by former donors and board members the last several years.
Being a James Frey is one thing, but it’s another thing entirely to run such an elaborate con. There are few things in this world more reprehensible than those who engage in chicanery under the guise of philanthropy while propping themselves up by stepping on backs already broken by the strain of social inequity.
Due to the nature of Mortenson’s transgressions, finding and executing a suitable punishment will prove difficult. If only he’d had the courage to pull out a gun when asking people to empty their pockets.
Official poster. Click for full image.
Where are you going to be this Sunday?
I know where I’ll be: at the Holiday Inn on Wolf Road, along with a throng of fellow eager, excited, and pathetic geeks for the Albany Comic Con. It runs 10:00am until 4:00pm and, in addition to all the great talent and swag assembled, it will help raise some much needed funds for Japan. From the website:
Professionals and dealers will donate items to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. The proceeds will be donated through Catholic Relief Services (CRS) to Caritas Japan, from St Ambrose church to help the people of Japan. 100% of all proceeds from this auction will reach the people of Japan. The massive effort to relocate and house people who have lost everything, in the tsunami disaster, will be ongoing. Please bid generously to help support this effort. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the people of Japan, in hopes they can recover fully, and quickly from this horrible disaster. Thank you in advance for your support in this effort. (2-3pm). Click here to view the items for the auction.
In addition, writer Ron Marz (who’s actually a local) will be selling an exclusive print for $10, all of which will go to Japan disaster relief.
Not bad for a form so frivolous, no?
All joking aside, I’m a huge fan of the form and excited for this Sunday. The last time I went I walked away with some fantastic stuff from the seventies and early eighties, walking away with stuff ranging from stories involving the Justice League investigating the murder of Santa Claus(!) to one of the more intelligent treatments I’ve ever read in the medium. I also had some fascinating conversations with not only artists and dealers, but also passerbys and fellow enthusiasts at the bins and boxes assembled on the various tables. The real shame is that it only runs six hours, as I could literally spend an entire day talking to people and sifting through the great stuff available withot getting bored.
I’m a bit passionate, if you haven’t caught on yet. I was reared on comic books and, contrary to popular opinion, credit the genre exclusively with cultivating my love of words at an early age. Despite preconceptions that the books are dismissively written for children, comic book writers are known and sometimes notorious for writing above the heads of children to make the books accessible to older folk, much like Pixar does with its animated films. As a result, comic books expanded my vocabulary far more than any other book, newspaper, or magazine could. If some writer used a word or described something that was alien to me, I was likely to either just take a guess using the context provided or just ignore it completely. If those same words or descriptions were used by Captain America, on the other hand, I needed to know exactly what the man in red, white, and blue was saying. After all, the fate of the world literally depended on it.
So I’m going to celebrate and give back to an industry and genre to which I owe a great deal, and to meet – again – those people like Ron Marz with whom I grew up admiring and have since developed a good rapport with and further appreciation for.
So check it out, because you won’t regret. And feel free to come find me. I’ll be the guy with a smile a mile wide.
THE ALBANY COMIC CON
Sunday, April 17th
@ The Holiday Inn on Wolf Road
http://www.albanycomicbookshow.com/
Dogs have been an enemy of mankind for thousands of years, and at one time had three heads on a single body before genetic engineering made them less terrifying.
As a longtime resident, citizen, and neighbor, I can no longer stay silent about an issue that is a very real threat to our economy, health, and public safety. All three are being jeopardized by a trend of young urbanites acquiring and housinganimals that are known to be unclean, loud, and potentially dangerous.
I’m talking, of course, about dogs.
Dogs are disruptive and destructive creatures whose activities negatively effect property values. Dogs are known to dig holes in back yards. Their owners allow them o urinate and defecate in their back yards with no regard for their neighbors. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the owners make it even worse by taking the dogs off their property and bringing them to urinate and defecate on nearby sidewalks. If you’re a neighbor of a person that has a dog or dogs, there is literally no escape from the pollution.
In addition to polluting our neighborhoods, dogs are known to emit foul odors, particularly if they get wet. They’re also known to roll around in and occasionally eat the feces of other animals. As such, dogs are prone to carrying a litany of bacteria and diseases, including but not limited to ringworm, lime disease, and rabies. These diseases can be passed on to humans and, in some cases, kill them.
They also pose a more immediate and visible threat in the form of physical attacks. This situation is exacerbated by dog fighting rings, which create their own sets of problems and further contribute to a criminal element in our society.
It’s time for us to outlaw dogs in urban areas. They are dirty, drive down property values, carry diseases, and allowing them encourages people to make them fight each other for money and entertainment.
If you disagree and think this sounds ridiculous, please send the link to this blog post – http://blog.timesunion.com/marshall/we-need-to-ban-dogs/4935/ – to the members of the Albany Common Council and especially those that oppose the ordinance to allow residents in urban areas to have chickens in their back yards. After all, they’re using the same arguments against the measure, and they all sound every bit as ridiculous. In some cases even more so, particularly when it comes to things like public health and game fighting.
Stop playing to the most ill-informed members of your constituency, and Hell, stop being ignorant yourselves. Vote based on science, facts, and reality, rather than unfounded fears.
This is also, in a very real way, bigger than chickens. The decay in discourse and civic awareness and unity is a growing problem in this country, and it’s a direct result of politicians getting lazy and pandering to the loudest and most ill-informed of their constituents rather than speaking and voting based on facts, common sense, and the greater good. This is hardly a new phenomena, but it’s one that has been fostered for far too long. A vote for this measure isn’t just the right thing to do in this situation, but it’s the right direction for the city – and any city – to take in improving its quality of life.
After the cut, a list of the members of the Albany Common Council and their e-mail addresses. Get to sending.
STALK ME
