And I let out a sigh. A deep, deep sigh.

"Best grocery chain: PRICE CHOPPER! Best deli: PRICE CHOPPER! Best bakery: PRICE CHOPPER! Best auto dealership: PRICE CHOPPER! Best singer-songwriter: PRICE CHOPPER!"

On Friday, amidst the fake news and relationship changes on Facebook (I wonder how many unmarried women out there  did the “I’m pregnant!” prank only to be taken aback when no one acted surprised), the Times Union launched its annual Best of the Capital Region poll.

And I let out a sigh. A deep, deep sigh.

CLICK HERE to vote.

It’s not entirely the readers’ fault. Unfortunately, there just isn’t enough emphasis put on homegrown business and actual quality by our local media. That extends past the Times Union and is for a variety of reasons; i.e. a company like Price Chopper has more of a presence because they can afford the advertising time. There’s also the problem of false equivalence inherent in these types of things: popularity and quality are not universally proportional. That is, unless you think Taylor Swift really is, like, the best, like, writer of songs about stupid ex-boyfriends EVAR.

Which is why I’m not going to tell you who to vote for; though I do think if you’re unsure in any category, your best bet is to defer to the “Fussy Little Ballot” over on Daniel B.’s FUSSYlittleBLOG. Unlike me, he’s a foodie and a transplant to the area who has invested time in discovering all the little treasures and great things the area has to offer. He also has a method to his madness, so go check it out.

I am, however, going to encourage you to do two things:

1. Vote for the best.
2. Don’t vote in a category you’re ignorant about. Say, for instance, you don’t know much about local restaurants. Then, hey, don’t vote in that category. Or if you don’t know what Twitter is? Opt out of voting for “best local Tweeter.” Do you hang out on North Pearl Street on the weekend and spike your hair with gel? Then don’t vote on anything. At all. Okay? Just don’t. Please.

My (partial) ballot is below, if only to give you an idea of what a deluded jerk I am.

Best bakery – The Cookie Factory (Troy, NY)
Best farmers market – Troy Farmer’s Market
Best men’s fashions – J.C. Penny’s like a mother effer! What? I shop there, and I am not ashamed. (prepares to be chastised by Alan Ilagan)
Best bookstore (single location) – Market Block Books (Troy, NY)
Best used bookstore – Dove & Hudson (Albany, NY) Not just for price – which almost can’t be beat – but also for the fun of finding real treasures. A truly remarkable and charming space.
Best auto dealer (single location) – Fuccillo Hyundai They got good people there is all I’m sayin’.
Best coffee joint (single location) – Flavour Cafe Awesome hours, awesome staff, plus: THE BOOTY SHAKE.
Best gym/health club – NY Boxing (Cohoes, NY) You think you’re in shape until you go in and take a class with the Miller boys.
Best high school coach (include name and school) / Best high school athlete – boys (include name and school) / Best high school athlete – girls (include name and school) – Isn’t it kind of weird to have a vote in this if you don’t have a kid that plays? I don’t know, I just always found the concept of adults with a vested interest in high school sports that their children don’t play to be a bit baffling. I mean, I’m always like “good for them,” but…yeah. Maybe it’s just me.
Best concert in the past year – Restoration Festival @ St. Joseph’s Church What a blast this was, and I hope it comes back this Summer.
Best singer-songwriter – Matthew Carefully
Best band (pop/rock/country) – Que Caro
Best local comedian or comedy troupe – Greg Aidala
Best movie theater – Spectrum 8
Best place for kid-friendly arts and culture – The Arts Center (Troy, NY)
Best TV news anchorperson – Greg Floyd OM GF!
Best TV newscast – The Glen Slingerland Situation BREAKING NEWS: fetishized women in short black dresses and sunglasses terrorize local neighborhood. It’s a high-heeled Kegs & Eggs out there, folks!
Best print journalist – James M. Odato His work on the exploits of NXIVM alone deserves recognition.
Best radio station – WEXT Really the only radio station that “gets it,” in the sense that with the industry disappearing, they know that the only interest we have in earthbound stations would be with a hyper local focus. And they give it, in spades, rather than simply paying lip service to it like some other stations do. That said, guys, I love you to death, but it wouldn’t kill you to skew younger in your coverage. But that goes for all music coverage, whether through terrestrial airwaves or in print or on blogs.
Best local website – All Over Albany
Best local blogger – KC Orcutt of Keep Albany Boring
Best local tweeter – @patrickdodson

Alright, kids, get to votin’.