It was my sophomore year of High School and like every [...]]]>

The Notorious Big Guy, a famous rapper who died and whose music video for "Hypnotize" served as an inspiration. Image via Wikipedia

I’ll never forget where I was when I started pretending to love the music of Mr. Big Smalls, aka the Notorious Big Guy, aka real name Chris Wallace.

It was my sophomore year of High School and like every hot-blooded American male, I was rocking hammer pants and jamming out to Sheryl Crow and 98 Degrees. I had heard rumblings of a Great War between the East Coast and the West Coast rappers. Back then, you see, all you needed for a conflict to qualify as all-out war was two guys and their respective entourages. They were simpler times.

When I heard that the Notorious Big Guy had passed away, I didn’t know how to process it or who he was.

Thankfully, like every other proud white teenager, I did my best to pretend. I dialed in with my 56K modem and spent the next eight hours downloading the music video for “Hypnotize.” I was blown away and couldn’t believe what I was missing, and thus began my lifelong passion for pretending to be familiar with his work.

I let people know about my sadness and outrage.

“The Notorious Big Guy was quite possibly the greatest and most influential lyrical artist since Coolio,” I’d say, “and we need to stop this damn war before we all get taken on that one final Fantastic Voyage.”

Now, fourteen years later, I look back fondly on the memories I pretended to have and wish, out loud, so everyone can hear, that he was still with us today so that I could continue underappreciating him.

O Biggie, my Biggie. I will be missing you.