Kevin Marshall's America » canada http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog Musing & misadventures of a writer, comedian, and local treasure Thu, 13 Nov 2014 00:17:24 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.0.38 New service creates fake girlfriend to post on your Facebook wall http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog/2011/03/30/new-service-creates-fake-girlfriend-to-post-on-your-facebook-wall/ http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog/2011/03/30/new-service-creates-fake-girlfriend-to-post-on-your-facebook-wall/#comments Wed, 30 Mar 2011 12:11:25 +0000 http://blog.timesunion.com/marshall/?p=4709 It used to be so much easier to have an imaginary girlfriend. You’d just fabricate or use an existing vacation taken during Spring or Summer Break, lie to your friends about what you did, and boom: girlfriend in Canada.

Unfortunately, you can’t get away with that anymore. The first question people will ask is why [...]]]>

A picture of my girlfriend. Nah, you wouldn't know her. She lives in Canada. I met her while I was visiting my Uncle. She's really really into me.

It used to be so much easier to have an imaginary girlfriend. You’d just fabricate or use an existing vacation taken during Spring or Summer Break, lie to your friends about what you did, and boom: girlfriend in Canada.

Unfortunately, you can’t get away with that anymore. The first question people will ask is why you haven’t changed your relationship status on Facebook. Then they’ll ask where she is on Facebook, or Twitter, or Tumblr, or Xanga (if you and your friends are total losers). The internet in the 21st Century has totally blown up our fake girlfriend spot.

…or has it?

The good news, ladies and gentlemen, is that there’s a new service: it’s called Cloud Girlfriend, and boy is it ingenious. Need to support that big lie you told your friends at a sleepover? No worries, Cloud Girlfriend will create her for you with ease. Mom’s on your case about the fact that you watch Bravo reality shows all day and you need a beard to throw her off your scent? Then look no further than Cloud Girlfriend!

The concept is simple: Cloud Girlfriend will create an online social media presence for your fake girlfriend. She’ll even post on your wall.

The bad news, however, is that the company is just a start-up for now. The website for Cloud Girlfriend simply pitches the product and asks you for an e-mail to be notified when it launches.

So until then, you’ll have to tell people that your fake girlfriend in Canada is one of those people that hates Facebook, or she’s not on there because her ex-boyfriend stalks her even though you don’t think he will anymore because you beat him up using your Muay Thai skills.

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]]> http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog/2011/03/30/new-service-creates-fake-girlfriend-to-post-on-your-facebook-wall/feed/ 9 The Deep Divide in the 20th & Why I Won’t Talk Politics; Present Tense Gets International Coverage http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog/2010/03/18/the-deep-divide-in-the-20th-present-tense-gets-international-coverage/ http://www.kevinmarshallonline.com/blog/2010/03/18/the-deep-divide-in-the-20th-present-tense-gets-international-coverage/#comments Thu, 18 Mar 2010 12:37:51 +0000 http://blog.timesunion.com/marshall/?p=59 As I was engaging in my traditional civic duty of cruising the Times Union website in a half-hearted attempt to keep my finger on the pulse of our region, I came across a photograph in Jimmy Vielkind’s story on the deep divide on health care in the 20th Congressional District that reminded me why [...]]]> As I was engaging in my traditional civic duty of cruising the Times Union website in a half-hearted attempt to keep my finger on the pulse of our region, I came across a photograph in Jimmy Vielkind’s story on the deep divide on health care in the 20th Congressional District that reminded me why I rarely talk politics and probably won’t on this blog:

For so many in this country, a picture like this is gratifying or exciting. Me, it’s just a reminder of how incredibly childish and illogical people can get when it comes to politics. It’s one thing to be passionate. It’s another thing to be so smug and self-assured as to close your mind off to any potential opposition to your views, or adopt the philosophy that a louder voice and angrier gesture will win any debate or argument.

Is it unfair that I’m casting judgement on the individuals shown in this picture? I’m sure. It’s also wholly unfair to paint them and their views in such broad strokes based on a single image. But as the cliche goes, a picture’s worth a thousand words. These are the words the picture conveys to myself and others.

I know I’m beating a dead horse when I say that this type of discourse is nothing but harmful to our country and the cause of reform (regardless of which side of the fence you reside). I just wanted to make it clear that I’m not doing it because I’m ignorant, apathetic, or uncaring. Certainly, I am, but also because I have no desire to act a fool in a public setting unless I’m at least going to get some laughs out of it.

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As a result of this very blog, Marshallmania is running wild throughout the country…and in others, as well! My recent post regarding handshakes drew the attention of Canadian film buff, festival organizer, professional wrestling personality, and blogger Michael “Llakor” Ryan. It prompted him to explore the ritual of the handshake as it applies to the delicate and sometimes strange world of professional wrestling.Oh, Canada!

Michael makes a note about old media “hitching a ride” and the fact that I write gratis for the Times Union, but also correctly touches on why I think I get more than a fair shake out of the deal. But that’s a blog post for another time.

I’m pretty sure this makes me the first Times Union blogger to gain a foothold internationally.

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