As you’re likely aware, Hurricane Irene is currently projected on a path that includes our area and will likely still be a Category 1 storm by the time it hits us. It has been literally decades since this area saw a true hurricane-strength storm, and as a region that [...]]]>

Projected path of Hurricane Irene as of Friday afternoon

Hello my fellow Kevin Marshall’s Americans,

As you’re likely aware, Hurricane Irene is currently projected on a path that includes our area and will likely still be a Category 1 storm by the time it hits us. It has been literally decades since this area saw a true hurricane-strength storm, and as a region that is not accustomed to or designed to withstand hurricanes, we could be in for some trouble.

But fret not. Here’s 16 helpful tips to help you prepare for the worst-case scenario. 

1.  
   1. Have flashlights and candles. This seems like a no-brainer, but many people overlook it.
   2. Have 1 gallon of water set aside per person.
   3. Though most refrigerators will seal food and keep them from spoiling too much during a brief (4-6 hour) outage, foods like milk, yogurt, and cheese will likely go bad. Don’t be surprised if you have to discard them.
   4. Have enough non-perishable food items to get you through a minimum of 3 days.
   5. Check your first aid kit. If you don’t have one, GET ONE!
   6. Have cash on hand (can’t process credit cards with no electricity!)
   7. Have ample food and water for your kitties and puppies.
   8. Stock up on batteries.
   9. Have a radio! I know so many people that don’t have one anymore, but it’s still essential for emergency situations.
   10. Learn another language. We have plenty of multi-culturalism in this area, and depending on how long we go, traditional communications could render things a bit anarchistic. You could end up in a group of mixed ethnicities, cultures, and languages.
   11. Develop your skills. Nothing ensures survival in a group quite like being useful.
   12. Take stock of your jiu-jitsu skills. You may have to fend off scavengers, and there’s no defense quite like a good offense and a strong guard.
   13. Human flesh tastes like pork.
   14. Not everyone with a gun is going to use it. Mostly it’s just for show and they don’t have the heart to pull the trigger. This is not to say you can take chances, but you can lull them into a false sense of security pretty easily.
   15. Donate $15 to the Special Olympics of NY, which will commission me to draw a picture of you. This way, if you don’t make it through the storm, you’ll be forever memorialized.
   16. Get all of your crazy, manic hostilities out now. Don’t wait until tomorrow or Sunday to post a passive-aggressive dig at a blogger through comments because it will be too late by then (, Gary).

Best of luck to all of you and remember, hurricanes are unpredictable. We could be in for the storm of the century or it could veer off and miss us entirely. The important thing to remember is that if we can survive the devastation of earthquakes and cupcakes, we can survive anything.

No idea where this originated, but it’s been floating around my Facebook feed over the last twelve hours. Note – according to reader Henri, it looks like it originated from Fark.com.

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