FLIPPING OVER CARS LOLOLOL

No, but seriously, there are a lot of great traditions rooted in the Irish [...]]]>

One of the ways you can celebrate St. Patrick's Day is through ecological terrorism.

It’s almost 5:00pm, that time when you’ll be leaving work and heading out looking for ways to celebrate the holiday. “What can I do,” you ask yourself “to participate in this holiday in a truly Irish manner?”

FLIPPING OVER CARS LOLOLOL

No, but seriously, there are a lot of great traditions rooted in the Irish culture that you can partake in. What follows is a small sampling with some background info on each.

Flirting with Someone at the Bar So Awkwardly They Don’t Realize You’re Actually Flirting with Them
Not many people know this, but the initial reason for St. Patrick’s Day was to create a competition with St. Valentine’s Day. Unfortunately, the holiday is accompanied by heavy drinking, and the Irish when drunk are not known for their romantic prowess. Unless of course they’re writers, but still, it is only their pens that can eloquently express emotion (and stay upright). Soo the great tradition began of being so drunk that your flirting comes across as belligerent ranting. Ladies, be ready for when he randomly puts his arm around you and goes in for a kiss mid-sentence! It’s all part of “the dance.”

Jets and Packers Appreciation
These are the preferred sports teams of Irish-Americans, which is why you see so many of them out at pubs and in Youtube videos. Also, fun fact, before it was made of pig skin, a football was actually made of dried-out corned beef.

Guilt
There’s a story behind this, but it’s long and very, very, very painful.

Green Plastic Derbies
First adopted during the Irish Rebellion of 1798, the green plastic derby was a direct response to the British habit of wearing hats that lasted more than a day and were both comfortable and tasteful, two things which the Irish abhor. In modern times the Irish have encouraged other ethnic groups to wear them instead in order to show that we are not only all Irish, but all free spirits who hate the English.

Reenactment of the Banishment of Snakes
Though historical revisionists such as the TU’s own Rev. Alan Rudnick would like you to believe otherwise, St. Patrick DID drive all of the serpents out of Ireland. And one of my favorite traditions has always been the reenactments that occur on streets and sidewalks across our great nation of that time St. Patrick drove the snakes from the land of our fathers by vomiting all over them.

Terrible Music
Another tradition that grew out of a desire to mock the English is Irish music. Irish music is easily identifiable for its frantic strumming with all members of the band playing the same notes at the same time, excessive shouting, lazy puns, obsession over things that happened in the past and cannot be undone, and the occasional obscenity. It is thought that Irish music was first used during the Nine Years’ War. Those Irish that were too passive-aggressive to take up arms with the British would instead play their obnoxious music near them, unleashing an audio assault that would force the British to drink and thus be more susceptible to a physical attack from the Irish resistance.

Soggy Meat & Veggies
Mmmmmmmmm!

So get out there and start celebrating! But please, do so safely and responsibly, and do not even think of putting your key in the ignition if you intend to drink.

Honestly, despite all the hoopla over the riots last weekend in advance of the Albany St. Patrick’s Day parade, the holiday still snuck up on me.

What used to be anticipated as a day of revelry and celebration for me has instead become a reminder of past embarrassments, shortfailings, and anxiety [...]]]>

Cover of The Quiet Man (Collector's Edition)

It’s St. Patrick’s Day.

Honestly, despite all the hoopla over the riots last weekend in advance of the Albany St. Patrick’s Day parade, the holiday still snuck up on me.

What used to be anticipated as a day of revelry and celebration for me has instead become a reminder of past embarrassments, shortfailings, and anxiety over what I’m bound to encounter staggering around in my neighborhood. In other words, a truly Irish holiday.

These days, without the need to call in to work so I can start drinking at 7:00am and stop sometime around 6:00am the next day, the holiday doesn’t hold much appeal to me. My mother always had a strong cultural attachment to the holiday and that would extend to her children, but she’s down in Virginia living it up in the Sun. Plus, my sisters are busy and/or have work that prevents them from even having a sit-down dinner.

So, no corned beef and cabbage for me, no drunken revelry, no parade, no awkward social encounters, and no music that you have to be drunk to be able to tolerate (because seriously people it’s awful).

Instead I’ll take the day to reflect on how much of my culture I’ve retained, watch “The Quiet Man,” and try to forget all those other things that have tarnished what in earlier years was always an anticipated family event.

Erin go bragh, or something.

SEE ALSO:

• Last year’s blog posts –  St. Patrick’s Day: A Shameful History & St. Patrick’s Day Recipes!
• Celebrate these great Irish locals – William Kennedy & Jack McEneny