Oh happy day, the Rapture happened as planned on Saturday and I am just as keen as a can of peaches.

And let me tell you, it is GREAT up here. Yesterday I played pool with Minnesota Fats and Minnesota Fats and Jackie Gleason, who played Minnesota Fats in a movie! What a trip that was. Also, it’s worth noting that when I say yesterday I really mean just now, or it seems like it. The passage of time up here is a lot different than it is down there, but if I tried to explain it to you your human brain would explode.

Oh, and I met Orson Welles and John Cassavetes! They’re Bridge partners.

Since you’re reading this, I need not tell you that most of you did not make the first cut. Which is all well and good. You have six months to make amends, after all. It’s just that I wish more of the people I knew and cared about were here. Good thing I was secretly practicing polygamy whilst pretending to be a single man about town all that time I was down there or I’d be pretty lonely!

Well, I have to go. But to all you people who said it wouldn’t happen, in your faces, all of you.

Enjoy the next six months, suckers. Here’s some pictures to show you what you’re missing:

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see also: Apocalypse Fallout (Rev. Alan Rudnick’s blog)

His point is that the math being used to justify the Rapture is wholly fictitious, and that the Bible was not written as a complex mathematical formula. On this point, the Reverend and I [...]]]> Fellow blogger (and all-around good guy, seriously) Reverend Alan Rudnick was interviewed by WTEN for their piece on the Rapture:

His point is that the math being used to justify the Rapture is wholly fictitious, and that the Bible was not written as a complex mathematical formula. On this point, the Reverend and I will have to agree to disagree.

The Old Testament has 39 books, while the New Testament has 27 books. This makes a total of 66 books. That means the Old Testament accounts for 59% of the Christian Bible. In the King James version of the Bible, The Book of Revelations is placed as the final book in the New Testament and has 22 chapters.

27 (number of books in the New Testament) – 22 (number of chapters in Revelations) = 5

May is the 5th month of the year.

To determine the exact day of the month of Judgment Day is a lot easier: Judges, in the Old Testament, has 21 chapters.

May 21st

The total number of verses in the Bible = 31,102. That number, reversed, is 20,113

May 21st, 2011 at 3pm.

It’s science, Alan.