"I...won? Wait, I actually won that? You mean they actually---um, YAYYYYYY!"

Imagine you were writing a novel or even a short story that satirized the state of boxing and/or combat sports as a whole. Let’s also say you were lazy and a bit of a hack. What would you do?

Well, one of the things you would do is create a scenario where a fight goes down for a vacant title belt. Then, when the contenders show up to weigh in, one of the guys doesn’t make weight. Which means if he wins, he doesn’t even win the belt, which will stay vacant. Oh, and also, what’s really at stake is a fight with a bigger star, so the title is moot. The guy who missed weight clearly loses the fight, except wait, the judges go completely the other way!

Man, what a mess. It’s just too much to fit into one fight. You can satirize the industry all you want, but you can’t throw every criticism into one event. The title being vacant then subsequently deemed meaningless, a guy missing weight because the only reason he’s fighting at it in the first place is for a bigger payday down the line, robbery at the hands of judges…it’s just too much. Even you, as big of a fucking hack as you are, wouldn’t stoop that low.

Unfortunately, reality has lower standards than you, because at all that bullshit went down at last Saturday’s bout between Brandon Rios and Richard Abril.

Sad.