"Give me your horses, and I will eat them all."

From CagedInsider:

“I did speak to Glenn Robinson his manager, and he said that Overeem is respectful for the Commission’s process, and he is very hopeful that he will be granted his license,” Kruck said. “The entire team is confident that he will be facing Junior dos Santos come May 26. Now, Robinson also wanted to make it very clear that despite other reports, Overeem did not test high for testosterone. Rather, his testosterone-to-epitesosterone ratio was off, and he has a reasonable explanation for why that is, which he will present to the Commission.”

So, just to be clear, it’s not that Alistair Overeem failed a surprise drug test from the Nevada State Athletic Commission with the testosterone of fourteen men. He has the T/E ratio of fourteen men. Get your sarcastic observations straight, pal! (even though it’s the same goddamn thing)

I’m curious as to what in the world this “logical explanation” could be. The most logical is that Overeem was on the wrong end of a steroid cycle and his people didn’t expect him to have to take one for at least another couple months, but that’s not what they’re getting at.

Off the top of my head, I can think of a few “logical explanations”:

• Like Thiago Silva, that wasn’t actually Overeem’s urine. Or human urine at all.
• He had just eaten an entire horse before the press conference.
• Brock Lesnar, with the assistance of WWE General Manager John Laurinitus and David Otunga, framed him as revenge for sending him packing. PEOPLE POWER!
• His testosterone is normal, but his epitestosterone levels are really low. (Note – before anyone from Overeem’s overenthusiastic meathead fanbase actually tries use this as a serious defense: this is actually impossible.)
• He’s just that fuckin’ manly, k?

His hearing’s set for next week (the 24th). Dana White hasn’t officially cancelled his heavyweight title shot against champion Junior Dos Santos yet. It leaves me incredulous, but I suspect the reason might be due to whatever was in the bout agreement that Overeem signed. What’s complicating (and confusing) the matter is that his license against Lesnar was conditional and, as such, he wasn’t actually licensed for the Dos Santos fight when he was tested. It’s possible (even if unlikely) that the terms of the bout agreement mean that Overeem would actually have to lose his license and/or be suspended for the bout to be cancelled.

My prediction: the hammer comes down on Overeem on April 24th and the bout immediately gets cancelled as soon as Dana is contractually allowed. He’s already said that Mir, Velasquez, and Mark Hunt (I love him too, guys, but c’mon) are out of the running. I’m thinking it’s going to be Fabricio Werdum, but we’ll see.