Look out, Chessboxing! There’s a new sport in town that makes you look like a fucking great idea.

Readers, have you ever watched a team sporting event and thought to yourself “boy, I wish they made this unnecessarily chaotic and claustrophobic and harder to follow by putting it in a small cage and incorporating some elements of MMA grappling.” No? Good, because if you did, then you’d be absolutely fucking mental.

Unfortunately, those kinds of people are out there. They came up with this thing called ”Ultimateball.” See, it’s Rugby but it’s in a cage, because a cage is what makes it EXTREEEEEEEEEEME!*

* Note: what’s actually kept the cage around is not that it makes something “ultimate” or “extreme,” but that it’s actually safer and more logical than a ring.