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March stand-up performance dates announced

February 22, 2012
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I have several dates confirmed for March with two others that should be announced within the week.

It’s going to be a busy March. Buckle up, kids.

 

TUESDAY, MARCH 6th 9:00pm
MICHAEL RAIVE featuring FRANK GENTILE
Hosted by KEVIN MARSHALL
Cost: FREE
@ Pinto & Hobbes (142 Washington Ave., Albany)

 

SUNDAY, MARCH 11th 5:00pm
CARLISLE CAREY w/s/g KEVIN MARSHALL
@ Bat Shea’s (95 Ferry St., Troy NY)

 

FRIDAY, MARCH 16th 8:30pm
THE ROAST of JENNIFER McMULLEN (from Fly 92)
w/ KEVIN MARSHALL, SANDY BEACH, LUKE DONOVAN, & MORE
Cost: ???
Waterworks Pub (Central Ave., Albany)

 

FRIDAY, MARCH 30th 8:30pm
KEVIN MARSHALL & FRIENDS
w/s/g TBA
benefit for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
Cost: $10
Drink specials all night long!
@ Waterworks Pub (Central Ave., Albany)

More anti-love for “The Artist”

February 21, 2012
By

Looks like I’m not the only one that’s a bit perturbed at the adulation “The Artist” has received this awards season. From film critic Jeffrey Wells’ Hollywood Elsewhere blog:

I’m trying not to pay too much attention to this or give it too much weight, but when I do think about it I get a little bit sick. It’s 1953 all over again, and we’re about to give the Best Picture Oscar to The Greatest Show on Earth.

The Artist is a 2011 version of That’s Entertainment! in a silent, black-and-white mode with a strong narrative assist from A Star Is Born and Singin’ in the Rain.

Echoes a lot of my feelings on the film. Charming? Sure. But it’s way too derivative, twee, and self-congratulatory (not to mention a bit backwards and weird in its romantic themes) to warrant “Best Picture” consideration.

It’s popcorn. Nice to have at a theater, but not something I’d dare accept as a substitute for sirloin.

Previously: on French nostalgia for Western film and zombies

The Knick Ledger’s “30 Under 30″

February 17, 2012
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The Knick Ledger has released a list of its “30 Under 30″ in the Capital Region. Among the honorees are my longtime friend Danielle Sanzone (journalist currently with the Troy Record), musician Olivia Quillio, and…Kevin Marshall?!

YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT!

Thanks to the Knick Ledger for the honor.

For the full list, click here.

NOTE: because of tonight’s event cancellation, I urge all of you to check out Laughs AGainst L&L at The Egg to raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. Starts at 7:30pm, tickets are $20, and there’s like a bazillion comics.

CANCELLED – Mo Haskins & Kevin Marshall hosted by William Hughes at Tierra Coffee Roasters

February 16, 2012
By

We were informed a couple hours ago that due to an internal dispute amongst members of their management, Tierra Coffee Roasters has cancelled our booking for tomorrow’s scheduled comedy show.

We are obviously very disappointed at this turn of events. All of us were looking forward to this show. Speaking for myself (though I’m sure Mo, William, and Jeff would express similar sentiments), I can say that I’m disappointed that I not only don’t get to perform, but that I have to inform all of you with such short notice. I can only apologize for the inconvenience.

Please note that this is not a reflection on any of us performers, all of whom were willing, able, and excited to perform for you tomorrow night.

Thank you for keeping us on your calendar and supporting local comedy.

Eat at Buffalo Wild Wings & help the Special Olympics

February 16, 2012
By

Eat at Buffalo Wild Wings in Clifton Park between now and February 23rd, present the coupon below, and 10% of your bill will go towards Special Olympics New York.

click image for full size

(click here to download)

Changes made to Albany Cabaret License legislation, but a few more tweaks needed

February 16, 2012
By

Yesterday was the Common Council Planning Committee’s meeting and public discussion pertaining to the Albany Cabaret License legislation that would see changes to the way live entertainment is regulated in the city of Albany.

=== Download latest revision (PDF) as of 2/16/2012 ===

The idea was to make the process simpler and to tie it to the actual business rather than the land. Currently, a cabaret license is obtained through a clumsy process that results in a one-time $125 fee and is granted to the physical land. Which means that not only does it transfer to new businesses, but also new landowners. This new law, which if approved would go into effect April 1st, would hold specific businesses and business owners accountable for obtaining and renewing their cabaret license annually.

The most alarming aspect was addressed in a revision made two weeks ago. Basically, the application process was going to occur behind closed doors at the City Clerk’s office. That lack of transparency caused many, including myself, to remark that it made the process seem dirty and as if they were trying to pre-emptively shut down what they deem undesirable businesses, which would lead invariably to discriminatory practices muddied with political and racial biases. Thankfully, someone listened, and the process now has been completely changed to include input from various agencies and open it up for public comment.

The other major downside was the cost. Originally the range was a minimum of $300 to $900. The price has been brought down drastically, and is tiered according to capacity:

Up to and including 150 persons $150
151 to 300 persons $200
301 to 500 persons $300
501 or more persons $500
for each year or fraction thereof.

Note: if a venue has multiple rooms where events can be performed, there is a surcharge of $60 for each additional performance space.

Still very expensive for small businesses. One of the points I made to the committee was that many folks (and unfortunately one mustached member of the council whose name I unfortunately didn’t get) have this idea that businesses can afford whatever the city throws at them, what I referred to as a “tophat and monocle” image of small business owners. The reality is far different, particularly for those that own small coffee houses in the city limits.

One of the compromises in a recent revision attempts to address this. From Section 111-72 B:

B. Licensed premises that do not serve or sell any form of alcohol and whose amplification is only necessary for balancing acoustic instruments by means of a public address system or amplifier shall pay a fee of $50.

Again, it’s an earnest attempt, but done by people who don’t have a real working knowledge of  what’s going on in the city and a general trend throughout the country. Many coffeehouses do in fact have liquor licenses in order to supplement their income. There’s also the rise of the Wine Bar – we’re having one opening right here in downtown Troy run by city booster Vic Christopher – that’s serves as more of a cafe than a bar/tavern. So while it’s a step in the right direction, there’s still some work to be done.

While most of the revisions were for the better, there was one that seemed to be shoe-horned in by a misguided council member reacting to some anecdotal circumstance:

C. For the purposes of this chapter, a premises owned or occupied by a religious organization which permits musical entertainment, singing, dancing or other forms of amusement in said premises that do not coincide with a religious service shall be deemed to be  conducting a cabaret hereunder.

So basically, if a church is having a mixer, technically that can be construed as not “coinciding with a religious service” and subject them to needing to obtain and pay for a cabaret license. What I stressed to the members of the Committee and all present is that sometimes with a law like this, less is more. The easy way to fix this wouldn’t be to add more qualifiers as to what would be deemed as coinciding with a church or religious service, but to instead provide an exemption to all religious organizations. As hard as these fees will be for small businesses, it will be even harder for churches to cover them; they provide an invaluable service to underserved communities and, as such, rarely see the kind of cash flow that would justify the city charging them annually for a cabaret license. It would amount to the city looking like cruel overseers trying to draw blood from a stone, and all because one committee member was privy to an isolated incident.

This change is akin to someone getting cut off in traffic and, in response, trying to get legislation to make it harder for drivers to make a lane change. In that sense it serves as an apt metaphor for this whole process, which in my public comments I compared to taking a hammer to a housefly. Through the public’s input, however, we have seen a lot of changes made to the legislation that would make it more affordable and the process a lot more transparent and reasonable.

There’s still work to be done, but they’re getting there, thankfully.

As for Occupy Albany’s dog and pony show outside…ugh. Ugh ugh ugh. “Don’t tax the music” and “they don’t care about us” was the song being sung when I entered City Hall at 4:45pm and when I left at 6:00pm. The vast majority stayed outside, with only a handful coming in towards the end to get a sign onto television. They didn’t hijack the problem so much as embarrassed themselves by showing a fundamental ignorance or intentional misrepresentation (which would be worse) of the issue. It’s not a “tax on music” or “personal expression” as they were stating, it’s a tax on local business. Unfortunately the news cameras went right for them, which I saw coming from a mile away and had confirmed by several annoyed Facebook posts from people present at the meeting who watched the evening news.

My response: whatever. The circus ringmasters in television news media are naturally going to try to draw everyone’s attention to whoever’s rolling up in a clown car, so as cynical as it may seem, we can’t be too surprised. The good news, though, is that this process is moving forward in a positive way and there’s still time to provide more feedback and pressure to get the necessary changes made to make this a fair, affordable, and wholly transparent process.

PREVIOUSLY:

THIS FRIDAY

February 14, 2012
By

on French nostalgia for Western cinema and zombies

February 13, 2012
By

I saw “The Artist” last night. Honestly, I wanted to hate it, and my first reaction (which got me booed by my friends Maeve and Steve who went with me) was “best children’s movie of the year!”

After a day to digest it and wash off the shitty mood I was in all weekend, I came around to liking it a lot more. The cinematography was gorgeous, and of course Dujardin is a masterful mime. But I couldn’t help but feel a pinge of cynicism when re-reading all the stratospheric praise the film received. Like many actors in Hollywood, it was incredibly charming and pretty, but like those same actors, that alone doesn’t make it brilliant and unique.

Read more »

The Times Union has launched a four-part series on NXIVM, and it’s AWESOME.

February 12, 2012
By

Keith Rainere claims to subscribe to a Randian philosophy that states creative and innovative people can only thrive in a laissez-faire environment that does not restrict the development of culture, business, art, or anything else that trades in ideas and innovation. He also once sued cult expert Rick Ross for criticizing the group publicly, claiming that Ross revealed “secrets” of NXIVM’s “program.” In other words hands off, government…unless someone else wants to talk about our toys, then it’s hands on.

This incident gets a passing mention of the first installment of an extensive four-part series by the Times Union’s James Odato and Jennifer Gish, but it’s key to understanding groups like the (I have to say) alleged cult. Because what you have here is intellect gone wrong; a true genius who fell so much in love with the smell of his own bullshit that even a revered core belief system becomes nothing more super-heated iron ore to be smelted into a more convenient weapon against any that deign to think differently.

Groups like NXIVM are all about “you and me against the world,” even if the rest of the world doesn’t actually give a damn. Problem is, when you see enough people as enemies and treat them as hostile, eventually you’ll give them reason to be suspicious. This is what’s starting to happen with Attorney Generals, former members, and even the Fourth Estate, which would otherwise have likely written off NXIVM as just another lame collection of business jargon and New Age nonsense developed by the only guy associated with them smart enough to know better. Instead, they shouted at those pesky kids in the neighborhood to stay off their lawn and  not, under any circumstances, look to see what’s going on in the basement. Which, of course, only meant something was happening down there.

So here we are. The Times Union‘s first installment of a four-part series is up, and it’s a great read:

Raniere landed on the cover of Forbes magazine in 2003 as part of a story called “Cult of Personality.” Since then, former followers have said, he has dropped into the background of NXIVM in an effort to avoid attracting the attention of the government, according to sworn testimony. Although he is NXIVM’s philosophical guide and figurehead, he has served officially only as a member of the executive board and has been eligible to receive royalities for leasing his Rational Inquiry methods. He makes rare appearances at NXIVM events, creating a certain mystique among those who adore him. His teachings and speeches are all recorded on video in case he might utter something so innovative it would be worth patenting.

Read more: http://www.timesunion.com/local/article/Secrets-of-NXIVM-2880885.php#ixzz1mEFWjKU4

Also, check out the Times Union‘s list of influential folk in the Capital Region associated with NXIVM. Kinda disturbing and, I’ll be frank, in some cases very disappointing.

The fucked up things people cheer for

February 11, 2012
By

Responding to a 15-year-old’s temper tantrum to her friends on Facebook by sputtering and rambling for eight minutes and shooting a laptop with the hope that the whole world will see it and she’ll become embarrassed and ashamed.

Who’s the child here?

What a big man. A+ for bullying here, Daddy-O. Wonder where she gets it from?

Comedy & Game Show Night returns featuring great comics…and ME!

February 9, 2012
By

 

Comedy and Game Show Night returns tomorrow night (Friday) at Waterworks starting at 8:30pm. The panel will feature comedians such asJennifer McMullen, Fly 92′s Shawn Gillie, and a lot more! Including MEEEEEEEE!

Also, IT’S FREE!

If you weren’t there last week: Match Game in particular was a riot and went over really well. This week’s going to be even better, as we’re going to have sound effects and a lot lot more.

Doors open & sign-up at 8:30pm. The event page on Facebook has more info

Crashing the Albany Common Council’s Planning Committee Hearing

February 9, 2012
By

I’ll be crashing the Albany Common Council’s Planning Committee Hearing in opposition to the proposed cabaret license law.

“Crashing,” mind you, is used more for impact, since it’s open to the whole public.

So we should make an effort here, folks.

If you don’t already know about the new cabaret licensing that the city has proposed: not only would it account for an annual fee of anywhere from $300 to $900 for small businesses (who already run into enough difficulties due to Albany’s red tape, parking permits, etcetera), but the process would be handled internally and behind closed doors by the City Clerks’ office – completely removing transparency from the process (though it should be noted that the latest draft of the law did include some public input).

All Over Albany compiled a ton of interesting info about the matter after the monthly Laughs on Lark showcase – run by comedians (and friends) Matt Kelly and Jaye McBride – was shut down due to a weekend visit from the police warning Elda’s on Lark that they were not adequately permitted to run “amplified entertainment.” They also visited Rock’s and Pinto & Hobbes. Rock’s has a license, so the police had to bugger off (nice try though). Pinto & Hobbes, unfortunately, didn’t realize it needed a permit to run its karaoke events, which it is dependent on in order to bring in business. So now not only do they have to rush to apply for a permit post-haste, they’re going to get hit again if this new law gets passed.

A little bird told me yesterday that all the businesses that were randomly visited and selected for enforcement (after ten years of it being known about but not enforced) were vocal in their opposition to Albany’s recent change to its parking permit system, the insinuation being this may have been politically motivated. I can’t verify that, so take it with a grain of salt.

Regardless, this new law would be shit for small businesses running quite possibly the most harmless events in the region. I’m not even clear on why the law’s being considered, except to price out and/or deny licenses to what they perceive to be “problem spots” in the area. Except nuisance violations should do the trick (that’s how Troy does it), and the lack of transparency is very troubling. Who determines why a license would or would not be granted? How do you know ahead of time if a new business is going to be a problem spot? It stinks. It stinks for small businesses (especially those tiny bars and coffee houses), it stinks for performers, and it stinks of political retribution and bureaucratic discrimination in the guise of community concern.

Show up if you can next Wednesday at 5:00pm and let your voice be heard. Check out the Facebook Events Page for more info.

SELFISH little Ballot: what categories in Metroland’s Readers Poll can Kevin Marshall win?

February 8, 2012
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Daniel over at FUSSYlittleBlog has been lobbying to change the way the Times Union structures its annual Best of the Capital Region survey so we don’t look like podunks. I wish him all the best with that, because the results every year really are awful and embarrassing.

Meanwhile, I’m an abhorrent, selfish prick.

Metroland has its own annual poll HERE. What does that mean for you? It means shut your face and take a few minutes to write me in for these categories:

  • Best Local Comedian
  • Best Twitter Stream
  • Best Local Blog (write in: “Kevin Marshall’s America”)

I ALSO OFFICIALLY ENDORSE:

  • Best Music Blog: Nippertown
  • Best Local News Blog: All Over Albany
  • Best Local Lifestyle Blog: Keep Albany Boring
  • Best  Local Journalist: Jordan Carleo-Evangelist
  • Best Local News Anchor: Elaine Houston
  • Best Local DJ: Laura Glazer
  • Best Local Radio Station: WEXT
  • Best Local Venue: EMPAC

The rest I leave to your discretion and tastes. I thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation.

Now get out to Waterworks this Friday to see me do a few minutes of comedy followed by MATCH GAME (it was a total blast last week and will be even better this week), where you can win prizes!

Then, on February 17th, get your fine asses down to Tierra Coffee Roasters on Madison Ave. (formerly the Muddy Cup, next to the Norma Jean Madison Theater) to see me featured on a comedy show!

For more dates and performances, keep your browser tuned to KevinMarshallOnline.com.

Laughs on Lark cancelled tonight and other Albany malarkey

February 7, 2012
By

Keep Albany Boring has an open letter from Matt Kelly, who organizes the monthly Laughs on Lark showcase for local and touring comedians:

An Open Letter to The Capital Region and Beyond

Many of you are familiar with, or have come to enjoy our monthly Laughs on Lark Comedy Showcase. We regret to inform you that we will have to cancel this month’s show, scheduled for Wednesday February 8th, our first cancellation since we started 20 months ago. It is not because we need to write new material, though we could use a few fresh jokes, or because of anxiety over the possibility of a Rick Santorum presidency, but because of a proposed Ordinance by the City of Albany regarding audio entertainment within taverns and restaurants. The ambiguity of the bill and the rush to enforce it prior to the Common City Council meeting scheduled to discuss it leave us no option but to pull the plug.

We started the show in August of 2010 in hopes of bringing a breathe of fresh air to the local entertainment community. Modeled after New York City alternative comedy rooms and with a showcase-format we’ve had 35+ different stand-up comedians, improv performers, special guests, and even a magician.

We love this neighborhood and judging by the increasing number of folks in attendance, you like us too. We believe strongly that businesses that promote and nourish local performers should be celebrated and not punished. Culture is what makes our community so spirited and lively, so imposing added restrictions on the shrinking number of establishments who embrace the artistic community is wrong. We are fortunate to have had the opportunity to perform for so many of you and we hope to be back as soon as possible.

Best,
Matt Kelly & Jaye Mcbride

This comes on the heels of a recent Times Union article about the Hudson River Coffee House and how the city’s bureaucracy and, frankly, overall shitty attitude of its bureaucrats and politicians has made the prospect of owning, opening, and operating a small business something akin to a Rockerfellian vision of Hell.

So much for that friendly community initiative, huh guys?

None of this bullshit going down here in the Collar City, comedy/show organizers. Just sayin’. Come on over and Enjoy Troy.

On an only somewhat related note, the weekly Open Mic hosted by Carliste Carey will be happening as usual WEDNESDAY NIGHT (tomorrow) at Bat Shea’s on Ferry St. in downtown Troy. Signup starts at 7:00pm.

TONIGHT (Monday night), 8pm, Villa Valenti Pub!

February 6, 2012
By

FREE SHOW! I’ll be performing stand-up comedy tonight at Villa Valenti Pub (729 Pawling Ave., Troy) starting at around 8pm. Get there early! Get some food! Free show! Comedy! Did I mention the show’s free?

FREE COMEDY FOR EVERYONE!

====

Also of note: last Friday’s Match Game at Waterworks was a success so they’re doing it again this week! I’ll once again be serving as a panelist, and the evening will also include a couple great comics and a round or two of “Make Me Laugh”. Come join us, it’ll be a blast! This Friday, 8:30pm, Waterworks on Central Ave. in Albany (link: Facebook Event Page)