So Floyd Mayweather was all “oh my God I hate it here in jail! It is the worst!” And the judge was all like “well, uh…well yeah.”

Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s request that he be released from jail because the low-quality food and water have threatened his health was denied by a Las Vegas judge who says he should eat and drink what is being given to him behind bars.

 

Read more (Sports Illustrated)

“But judge,” the argument goes, “he’s going to not be in peak physical condition and likely won’t be in any condition to fight immediately after being released from prison! It is unfair, as well as unprecedented, for a person upon release from jail to not just immediately resume their lives as if they were never in jail at all.”

“Well,” the judge would reply, “then he shouldn’t have beat up his ex-girlfriend in front of their kids.”

To which the prosecutor added “seriously, Floyd, what the fuck?”

Prosecutor Lisa Luzaich scoffed at the complaints during a court hearing Tuesday.

 

“It’s jail,” Luzaich told the court. “Where did he think he was going? The Four Seasons?”

Serious answer? No. Here’s what I bet he expected: to be treated like mob bosses you see in movies that just hold court over everyone in jail and are served fine dining and never EVER would introduce their lips to things water unless it was in a bottle. He didn’t expect to be treated like a convicted criminal and be given things like tap water and prison food, just like he didn’t expect his ex to press charges and for someone to put him on trial and convict him for his crime.

The problem isn’t that, as his lawyers noted in their plea, that all he’s ever known is boxing. The problem is that for the last fifteen years (give or take), Floyd has not known the word “no.” He hasn’t wanted for anything or faced consequences. He crafted a persona around an artificially inflated ego, but at some point he stopped letting the people around him in on the persona and, eventually, he forgot that it was all a lie. A precarious, spectacular, and unsustainable lie.