What a card to miss. I was at a friend’s apartment for his birthday and, because I’m not an anti-social creep, didn’t deign to suggest that all forty people who weren’t fight fans chip in to order a pay-per-view.

I read the results on Twitter, though, and throughout the night would be alternately gasping, exclaiming, and groaning at the fact that I was missing all the unexpected and exciting stoppages.

All told, the five fights on the pay-per-view broadcast ran a grand total of 21:50.

SHOCK OF SHOCKS?

As expected, Junior Dos Santos ran all over Frank Mir and ended it in the second. Also expected was a Cain Velasquez victory, but what I didn’t expect was to read how quickly he completely annihilated and bloodied up Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva. Either he (Bigfoot) needs to re-evaluate his strategies, or Cain is even better than we thought and JDS is in a lot of trouble when that rematch happens. That’ll probably happen sometime in September, but given how easily Cain and JDS disposed of their opponents, I wouldn’t be surprised if it bumped Ben Henderson and Frankie Edgar as the main event of UFC 150 on August 11th.

The most shocking (and pleasantly surprising) moment of the night, for me, was Jamie Varner‘s upset of Edson Barboza. Someone – I want to say it was Kevin Iole but I might be mistaken – tweeted that the entire press room gasped when Varner finished Barboza. I was always a huge fan of Varner and was legit saddened to see him fall as far as he did in the waning days of the WEC and post-merger. From all accounts he’s back to form, though, and could be on a major comeback trail. What a boon it would be, too, to a Lightweight division that is long on talent but short on marketable personalities.

Also very, very happy to see Dan Hardy win again. From all accounts, he’s a legit good guy. And I suspect he’s a fan of The Smiths. Which is always a plus in my book.

RESULTS:

• Junior dos Santos (c) def. Frank Mir via TKO (punches) R2 3:04 to retain the UFC Heavyweight Championship
• Cain Velasquez def. Antonio Silva via TKO (punches) R1 3:36
• Roy Nelson def. Dave Herman via KO (punch) R1 0:51
• Stipe Miočić def. Shane del Rosario TKO (elbows) R2 3:14
• Stefan Struve def. Lavar Johnson via Submission (armbar) R1 1:05
• Darren Elkins def. Diego Brandao via Unanimous Decision (29–28, 29–28, 29–28)
• Jamie Varner def. Edson Barboza via TKO (punches) R1 3:23
• C.B. Dollaway def. Jason Miller via Unanimous Decision (29–28, 30–26, 29–28)
• Dan Hardy def. Duane Ludwig via KO (punch and elbows) R1 3:51
• Paul Sass def. Jacob Volkmann via Submission (triangle armbar) R1 1:54
• Glover Teixeira def. Kyle Kingsbury via Submission (arm-triangle choke) R1 1:53
• Mike Brown def. Daniel Pineda via Unanimous Decision (29–28, 29–28, 29–28)

“CRAZY BULLSHIT” THAT WENT DOWN AND OTHER THOUGHTS:

Dave Meltzer reports that Dana White did meet with Brock Lesnar after UFC 146. Lesnar became a topic of discussion at the post-fight press conference when Ariel Helwani asked what his presence meant and if it meant he was looking to return. Dana seemed to strongly hint at it as a possibility. For what it’s worth, however, Meltzer says the meeting did not go well. He didn’t go into specifics, but I’d guess either White figured out he was being played or basically told Lesnar there was no way he was going to buy out of Lesnar’s current contract with WWE. Regardless of which went down (I think the former is more likely), expect Lesnar to be at Summerslam.

Speaking of Dana, that “bullshit” backstage that he alluded to with Jason “Mayhem” Miller was an alleged altercation Miller had with an MGM employee where he yelled at him and a report that Miller threw something at opponent C.B. Dollaway while the latter was receiving his post-fight medicals. But MMAFighting.com’s Ben Fowlkes tweeted that Miller told him “I didn’t do what [Dana] says. Bless my heart.” I assume he meant “cross” and not “bless.” For what it’s worth, there are other sources that also say this either didn’t happen or at least didn’t go down as was conveyed to and by Dana White. Whatever did or didn’t go down, Miller’s done with the UFC. I think it’s a shame, but I also think the time for Miller to make the jump to this level of competition was about four or five years ago. The timing just wasn’t right.

It was announced at the event that Vitor Belfort hurt his hand training and had to have surgery, so his fight with Wanderlei Silva for UFC 147 in Brazil is off. Boy, they just can’t catch a break on that card.

I did awful in my picks and should have known better. Stefan Struve is just the wrong type of fighter for a guy like Lavar Johnson to take on a three week turnaround. Too skilled and too wily. I expected a Dave Herman upset and still don’t know what I was thinking, other than that I keep underestimating Roy Nelson based on his more recent outings. But that guy’s still dangerous.