Kevin Marshall's America
Elton John & Billy Joel join forces to battle their respective arch-nemeses, Batman and Superman.
I have found in my many travels around the Capital Region that I can get away with saying and doing many reprehensible things and still retain friendships, or at the very least friendly acquaintances. Not much seems to bother people my age. Sure, you have some that take offense to some foul language and off-color jokes, but for the most part the brand of humor and communication is anything but “politically correct.” There are, however, four words that will drive friends of mine into fits of hysterics that will lead to hurt feelings if the discussion goes any further:
I hate Billy Joel.
There, I said it. I said it despite knowing that I just lost probably three-quarters of my readership. I said it in light of the fact that there are still many friends out there that do not know my shame, but there it is.
Why do I dislike Billy Joel, you may ask? It’s a good question, and one that I may not have a good answer for. There are certain things that I carry a certain amount of unreasonable hatred towards.
To be honest, though, I just don’t find him to be as great as so many other people think he is. I find his lyrics to be fairly shallow, and his music to be whitebread and dull. Billy Joel is, at his core, the ultimate music artist that white people like: a guy with a legit checkered past and a “rock and roll” attitude that plays music that doesn’t sound like it comes from a guy with a checkered past or that carries any particular “rock and roll attitude” with it. But it says it does, so that’s cool, right?!
No.
Billy Joel writes the type of songs that are like kryptonite to me: sappy love songs and rebellious songs that sound anything but. Songs like “It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me” and “Anthony’s Song” are supposed to be anthems for those that buck norms and trends: the latter the tale of a middle-class teenager (based on an Amish friend of Joel’s) who rebels against the predetermined role his parents have set, the other railing against conformity for the sake of fashion. But it rings to me as insincere simply because of who Billy Joel is and the sound it produces. Does anyone honestly get an anti-establishment vibe from these songs? He certainly aspires for it, but to me it just doesn’t ring true.
At least, that’s the best explanation I can come up with. It could be just as simple as it’s not my taste, but I feel compelled to come up with reasoning due to the extreme reaction I get from people when I tell them that “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” doesn’t make my arm hair stand on end and change my life every time I hear it.
Other things I dislike that make my friends hate me:
The TV show “Scrubs.” I don’t find Zach Braff’s brand of humor to be funny at all. I think it tries to be a clever geek chic silly, but instead comes off as dumb. Oh, look, someone’s being whacky! And now they’ve fallen down. Now everything’s sentimental, so we’re going to have an overly serious musical montage showing the cast in tender moments despite all the jackassery that just occurred. It makes me want to put a bullet through the television, Elvis Presley style.
What has two thumbs and is wholly unconvincing as a street-tough? THIS GUY!
“The Departed.” Yes, the Scorcese film. I think it’s easily my least favorite he’s ever made. I find Nicholson’s scenery chewing to be grating. Wahlberg and Damon are irritating beyond belief in this film, even though I’ve liked them in some of their other works. And Leonardo DiCaprio? Don’t even get me started on this guy. I doubt there’s a single more overrated actor in all of Hollywood. I never find him convincing in any role he’s playing, especially all the bad-ass roles he’s taken with Scorcese. What, I’m supposed to buy that this blonde, blue-eyed, 5’6”, 135 pound dude can kick anyone’s ass? Please. This film just seemed like movie stars who got together because they wanted to do a crime drama rather than a grand ensemble piece highlighting the criminal underbelly of Boston. The worst thing is that I thought the film was still redeemable, but then it completely goes off the rails the third act with bodies dropping everywhere for no discernible reason other than to accentuate the violent world they inhabit. Well of course it’s violent, they’re gangsters! Do we need Mark Wahlberg in a stupid body condom to demonstrate this? And that stupid, artless “rat” imagery! Awful. Just awful.
REACT: folks, do you have any music/television/films/books that your friends think you’re just insane for not hating?
I swear I’m not just trying to garner more hate mail.
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62 Responses to Things You Hate That Everyone Else Seems to Love
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STALK ME
you.
i also have an unreasonable hatred for gloria estafan.
oh i hate billy joel too and everyone seems to looove him.
The Departed huh? I LOVE that movie and I thought DiCaprio was fantastic in it.
Also, he’s 6′ tall, not 5’6″ haha
I can’t argue against your Billy Joel hatred, I happen to like him, but I can understand why people don’t.
And I have watched one singular episode of “Scrubs” and it did nothing for me, so that ended there.
As far as people thinking I’m crazy for not liking something that seemingly EVERYONE else goes crazy for is Seinfeld.
I hate the show with a passion and find most of it boring and un-funny and I tend to laugh at EVERYTHING.
I couldn’t comprehend what Will King said….All I could seem to get out of it was, “Yada…Yada…Yada…”
Now you’ve done it!Nothing is MORE anti-American than hating Billy Joel.The terrorists have won my friend..well done.Hatred of Mr.Joel also caused global warming..why do you hate the planet?
On my over rated list(I won;t say I HATE them, but I’m not as sold out as everyone else)
Dave Matthews
Recycling
hippies who recycle while listening to DMB
baseball
mac computers
hippies who recycle while listening to DMB on their Macs.
That’s what most people hear when I speak, unfortunately for me.
I hate Taylor Swift.
Not just her music, but also her as a person. When I tell people this, they often look like they want to murder me on the spot and inevitably say something like “well I get it if you don’t like her music, but how can you not like HER?” Well I can answer that…she has this really awful entitled air about her. Like because she writes all these songs about how guys didn’t notice her as a teenager and how she was this down and out kid who gets her “fairytale” ending with stardom then she’s this “princess” or w/e. Personally I think all her songs sound the same, and I’ve never once heard a live performance of her’s that wasn’t awful and off-key. And don’t even get me started on her performance with Stevie Nicks….
The Beatles. Maybe because it was before my time, so I don’t have all the hoopla that is associated with them. To me, they are simplistic and dare I say…….boring.
I hate the Boss. No no, not my boss, sheesh, ‘The Boss’. I think he is a major dweeb, and not really a good musician…. I’m going to go hide under my desk for that one.
Because I was a music critic focusing on a lot of indie/alt/underground stuff, there are certain things that I’m supposed to like in order to have gotten my critic’s license, but I simply don’t. First and foremost: Patti Smith. Can’t stand her music or poetry, AT ALL!!! I’m getting close to having the same degree of loathing for the acting and music of Will Oldham/Bonny Prince Precious Pretentious. Pavement also leaves me way, way cold. And I’m with you on Billy Joel. I lived on Long Island from ’76 to ’80, when he was fermenting into full popular pungency, and it was not a pretty scene.
Because you put the words into print, you have officially lost your New York Resident card. I’m sorry! ;)
I have much disdain toward Celine Dion. Yeah, she’s got some chords, but good god!! Overplayed much? Overdone much? It’s such bad acting on her part, yes I know she’s a singer.
And what’s all the hype about Glee? Oh, wait… I LOVE Glee! LOL!
You can hate Billy Joel. I hate the Beatles.
I also hate Nickleback with the heat of 1000 suns, but that seems pretty common…
But this was an excellent post to up your hate mail. I might pen one right now just because.
I have just found a HUGE appreciation for: Kevin Marshall, Will King, Erin Morelli, and Maria. For all points.
Thank you for not making me feel alone anymore!!!!
I totally agree with you on Billy Joel. Whenever he is at the Pepsi all my lame-ass friends who never talk about music go ga-ga over him. I also remember from college (1990-1994) that a lot of dudes would embrace and sing along to some song of his about Vietnam or something. I can hear it now – “and we would all go down TOGETHHHHEEERRR!”
I can’t stand watching Springsteen play live. I can listen to a song or two of his on the radio – but his whole E-Street band with seven guitarists and a drummer in a suit and even his red-headed wife hitting a tambourine in the back. I can’t see why anyone under 45 would be interested in that freakshow.
I also think the Rolling Stones are a little strange to watch live now (or anytime in the past 15 years or so). But that’s because they are all so freakin old – the music is still good, it’s just difficult for a 70 year old to rock out.
As for TV, I loathe The Office, post season one or two. I rarely watch it but when I do I switch the channel once John Krasinski’s character looks sarcastically at the documentary camera.
And anyone who doesn’t like the Beatles must not like music – but that’s ok.
Oh snap! I called it the “Pepsi”
“24” AND “Lost” seriously two of the most overrated shows of all time. I’ve tried watching and getting into them, but I get bored to death. How many times can one agent save the world and how many unexplainable story lines can people have on a deserted island. Also Lady Gaga/Amy Winehouse, you make terrible music w/ weird voices and look like trash. Not sure how anyone can like that weirdness.
Nirvana. The band. I never did like them.
Dave Matthews Band
Dane Cook — though lots more people seem to hate him nowadays than they did a few years ago.
Family Guy…the show is beyond stupid.
If a Billy Joel song comes on the radio, I may or may not change the station. Depends on my mood. I would not buy his music, not would I pay the abhorant amount of money he charges to see him in concert.
I agree with Vin. I just don’t get The Office. I watched a few episodes in the past. Sure, I chuckled at a few scenes, but overall it is just plain dull and unfunny.
Lost is a show that seems to have a religious following of zombie-like watchers. I have never seen an episode, and that probably is because of all the buzz the producers tried to create about the show before the first episode even aired. I just didn’t want to pay attention to all the hype. Is it really as mind-blowing as people think it is???
The Boondock Saints. Its plot makes little to no sense and it is extremely over-acted.
I hate The Office, Survivor, Burn Notice and especially NCIS, and I can’t understand why its so popular. It’s filled with stupid jokes that even a cornball like myself can’t appreciate.
I loved The Departed. How can you NOT like Nicholson? DiCaprio is a bit overrated, but the movie was at least interesting. I agree Billy Joel, The Boss, and Taylor Swift do indeed suck, as you and previous commentors have supplied.
Modern Family. There’s a gay couple on that show, did you know they’re gay? Look, they’re coming onto the screen, let’s see what stereotypically gay thing they do… Oh my gosh, that was hilarious! That’s exactly what gay people do! Oh wow, and the other character had a witty remark about gays! It’s okay that the gay guys don’t display any other personality traits in the show — they’re gay, what more could you want? Okay, besides a ludicrously shaky camera and production themes lifted directly from The Office.
(I’m not gay, nor am I bitter about the show, I’m just offended by how simple the show’s creators think I am. And aside from that, every other aspect about the show has been done before ad nauseum.)
I am glad to see I am not the only one who hates the Beatles. I try to keep it a secret. Eventually it does come up people look at me like I am crazy and accuse me of knowing nothing about music. So what if I don’t like the Beatles. I understand they had a huge following and I will tolerate them to an extent but I am not going to spend a Saturday night listening to the Beatles, playing Beatles rock band, and following it up with some Beatles trivial pursuit. If you try to force me I cannot be held accountable for my actions.
I also hate American idol. If those @#*-Clowns really had any talent they would already have record deals.
In addition I don’t like Howard Stern and I am glad he was replaced by Free Beer and Hot Wings.
I can’t stand Oprah and Jay Leno. Both of them are just so fake.
I really hate people who say something “sucks” and then don’t back it up with any credible evidence for it “sucking.” If you don’t like it, then own the fact that you don’t like it. Say, “I don’t like it” — or else you suck.
The Boss, Oprah, American Idol, Survivor, Lady Ga Ga Hell….most of the pop culture out there. lol!
Jam bands
Guinness
The movie “Magnolia”
everything…..and about 93% of the people I have met in my life.
i literally gasped when i read #18. What the…
Everyone is entitled to dislike whatever they want. That being said, I have waited and waited for those who say they “hate” dave matthews band to have a ligitimate excuse. Those excuses usually have nothing to do with the actual music, and everything to do with the band’s immense popularity.
yes, i can see why the 25 minute live version of Two Step would leave non-fans scratching their heads…but I would be willing to bet there’s SOME song you can and would appreciate! I’m not attacking you, I just would LOVE to change your mind!
Friends
Jennifer Aniston – Tom Cruise – Brad Pitt – Julia Roberts (IMO,all overrated)
Lady Ga Ga
Titanic
All reality TV programs
James Taylor
Greatful Dead
I found out last week that you hate Billy Joel, from someone who loves him. I don’t disagree, though, and I think you NAILED the reasons why. I’m also right there with you on Scrubs.
As for what other people are saying… I don’t get Beatles hate. I understand not going nuts over them, but not hating them. As for Springsteen, he’s got at least a couple things going for him, namely “Nebraska” and the fact that he was doing a Suicide cover on tour a few years ago. Beyond that, can’t say I’m much of a fan.
ANY and ALL crime drama tv shoes, like law & order, ncis, csi…blah blah blah. i can’t, for the life of me, understand why so many people like watching these shows that are ultimately about people being raped and murdered and other sick twisted crimes. if you really want to see that, just watch the news. i watch tv to laugh and not think about the ‘real world’.
How about things that are apparently “cool” to hate?
-The president (whoever it may be)
-Dane Cook
-Nickelback
-DMB
-Apple
-Yankees
-Duke
-Cowboys
-Listening to Dave Matthews Band fans lecture me on why I am wrong for disliking Dave Matthews Band and asking me to provide legitimate excuses.
Billy Joel is awful, as is Bruce Springsteen. Max Weinberg is obviously the best thing to come out of The E Street Band. Also I really hate most Rolling Stones songs, THE EAGLES, or Rod Stewart.
On the television side I know people are crazy about Battlestar Galactica but…why?
Oh my GOD do I hate The Eagles.
They’re really the worst.
I was unaware that everyone liked Billy Joel. I thought Chuck Klosterman was it in terms of his fans, and that was mostly on an ironic level.
J. Eric Smith only listens to Green Jellö, so his opinion is questionable at best.
I used to be in the Springsteen hating club, but “Nebraska”… WOW.
Bring on the Eagles hate, though – wow, they are awful.
The one thing that everyone seems to like that I cannot fathom: Modest Mouse. I mean, I like boring, generic indie rock as much as the next guy, but c’mon.
Farmville.
Fun fact: Kevin Marshall has no taste.
I say that with affection though as his friend and also a Billy Joel fan from birth. Seriously.
My now not so secret hate? I really don’t see what people like so much about Edward Cullen. He glitters! Vampires have one, and one role only, and that is to be killed by Buffy Summers.
Twilight, Harry Potter, everything Nicholas Sparks has ever written and which has later become a movie.
Oh, and every single type of fake/synthetic/hybrid sugar product which has been released to the public. But it’s a mutual hatred as they seem to ravage me with side effects.
An article which depicts clearly why I hate Nicholas Sparks:
http://www.cracked.com/funny-4725-nicholas-sparks/
One of the last funny things I saw on the Simpsons was Ralph Wiggim as a rat in a Departed parody where he just looks at the viewer and says “I’m a metaphor for obviousness!”
ojennail, you want a legitimate excuse as to why I hate Dave Matthews Band? All his songs sound the same and their sound is boring to begin with.
all you Beatles haters are going straight to hell.
Which is really going to suck for them, because there’s a good chance John’s there at least.
@Kevin in #47 — okay, that’s just flamebait.
Queen, Metallica, AC/DC, Bonnie Rait, any reality show on MTV, Brangelina, Lindsey Lohan, Kate Gosselin, Jon Gosselin, Meatloaf, Neil Young, Taylor Swift, American Idol….the list really does go on.
-Dane Cook
-Billy Joel
-Barbara Streisand
-Scrubs
-Kate Gosselin
-98% of all country music
If there existed a similar post five years ago, my first answer would have been The Dave Matthews Band.
Today? Lady GaGa.
This blog! I just wasted 10 minutes of my life reading all your whinney ass comments as if your paid to watch these shows and listen to crappy music! Read a God Damn book!
But why waste time reading and commenting on a blog when you could just read a book instead? And who’s to say these commenters don’t also, in turn, read books? I’d like to think most of them do (and one even cited Nicholas Sparks as someone they hate that everyone else loves).
I am not to say who reads books but judging from YOUR followers, only one so far gave feedback about an author. Can you start a thread about awful magazines and books?
Anyone who hates the Boss is musically illiterate, hates the working class and probably loves Dick Cheney.
Beatles’ low points: Paul McCartney’s sappy, simplistic top 40 love songs.
Almost everything on television.
Extremists on both sides of the political spectrum.
People who dis the Yankees.
@ ICUP
Uhm Twilight is a book series too.
Sports.
Definitely Dave Matthews Band. Barf. Also? People who demand reasons for other peoples dislikes.
And hell yes on Nicholas Sparks. Crappy, sappy, pseudo sentimental books. Hate them.
Elton John.
Rachael Ray.
Fast food.
I can’t stand Dave Eggers.
I tried to like him so I could fit in with the cool kids but I just can’t stand him. They should re-title that book of his An Intolerable Mess of Mind Numbing Self-Indulgence.
For all the praise lavished on “Sgt. Pepper” and “Abbey Road,” it is “Revolver” (1966) that endures as the finest Beatles album. From “Taxman” to “Tomorrow Never Knows,” every track shines in timeless fashion. “Revolver” has no self-indulgences or throwaways – it’s a beautifully crafted work that reveals the group’s symbiotic energy and creativity. Decades later, “Revolver” remains among the landmark recordings of the 20th century.
I hate Facebook and Twitter… seriously. I can understand that they come in handy for families and friends seperated by distance. But, seriously… who has the kind of time it takes to post crap constantly and read all of the useless drivel. “Oh Becky just bought cute shoes for half price!” Yippee.
Kevin, I dont like it when we play good touch/bad touch. There I said it.
I dont know why everyone liked Napoleon Dynamite – or Borat…that stuff is not funny and I laugh at EVERYTHING… I want to punch Borat in his mouth. All the Vampire stuff, Harry Potter, Jersey Shore, is ummmmm “horsefeathers” as well….but im getting old so I probably dont know what im talking about anymore….hey look a squirellllllllll….wanna go ride bikes?