I Don’t Think I Have Good Things to Say About the Tupac Hologram

April 17, 2012
By

A hologram of Tupac Shakur was used during a performance at Coachella, just to remind us how stale and uncharismatic the current crop of hip-hop artists are.

I honestly don’t know how I feel about this.

In case you don’t know, last weekend at Coachella, they dragged the corpse of Tupac onto the stage and fucked it in front of everybody. Some have said that the corpse fucking was an amazing effect and left the crowd filled with awe and wonder. Others have pointed out that the corpse wasn’t actually fucked; it was an optical illusion that used many of the same principles of a trick that dates back to the 16th century. But that’s splitting hairs. It was an impressive visual.

Now there’s talk that they may fuck Tupac’s corpse on tour. Well, half the acts out there lip-sync that shit anyway, so why not? You know what they say about a fool and his money and how he wants to spend it on watching a not-live “performance” of a fucking hologram. Or something like that.

Admittedly, it was a great visual, but it just seems…I don’t know. How do I put this? Artless and stupid. I think that about sums it up.

Also, who the Hell still listens to Snoop Dogg?

Video is after the jump. Read more »

New episode of MANville & the Jimmy Pigfeet Challenge

April 16, 2012
By

(from MANvilleShow.com)

It’s the pre-show for the 2nd Annual Jimmy Pigfeet Challenge! The man(-pig) himself joins us to discuss and preview the Challenge, discuss what went down last year, and what to expect this year. We also briefly touch on Gamejak Dan’s forthcoming stand-up comedy debut which follows the event.

Plus: The origin story of Jimmy Pigfeet, The News, Harlow hates Kevin Marshall this week for some weird reason, and then he and Johnny Hustle get hyped for UFC 145: Jones vs. Evans while everyone else gets real, real quiet.

In all seriousness, if this week’s show is any indication, this coming Saturday is going to be a blast. Come join us! We’ll be broadcasting a LIVE Manville during the challenge, followed by stand-up comedy.

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DIRECT DOWNLOAD (Right Click, Save As…)

MANville is sponsored by Stitcher Radio , Albany Modern Body Art, and Amazon.com, and welcome to our new sponsor Pre-Drift Longboards!

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THIS SATURDAY!

 

RULES FOR THE JIMMY PIGFEET CHALLENGE:

  1. Contestants eat one “Necrowingican,” a wing that measures over 7 million on the scoville scale. To give you an idea, the hottest pepper available out there is a little over 1 million on the scoville scale. Yep.
  2. Then, jump rope for three consecutive minutes. You don’t have to start over if you trip up, but you must be making effort to start back up again immediately.
  3. Perform 100 push-ups.

 

All must be done within 15 minutes. Winners receive a trophy, certificate of Manliness, Manville t-shirt, and other prizes TBA. To be eligible, please show up sometime before 5:30pm.

 

This will be followed by…

 

 

Stand-up comedy hosted by Johnny Hustle featuring the debut of Gamejak Dan. Starring William Hughes and Kevin Marshall.

Stop Making Fun of Andrew Cuomo, You Guys!

April 16, 2012
By

"Bro, you see that shit? Make 'em stop jacking my fuckin' swagger."

As gross as this is, it doesn’t really surprise me: Cuomo’s people have a 35-page dossier on Elizabeth Benjamin of Capitol Tonight. Why? Well, just because she got a little bit snarky, I guess.

The file, composed of highlighted and annotated blog items by Elizabeth Benjamin, one of Albany’s dominant political reporters, paints a picture of an executive branch that’s particularly averse to hints that Cuomo could be, as is widely assumed, conidering (sic) running for president in 2016. The document focuses particularly on seven items it describes as “GENERALLY SNARKY” …

Talk about paranoid/thin-skinned/dickish.

I’m not even sure where to begin with how revolting this all is, so I won’t even bother. You and I, reader, don’t have anywhere near that much time to waste. Apparently a top Cuomo aide does, though. Seriously, THIRTY-FIVE PAGES on Elizabeth Benjamin because she was a little sarcastic about things like rumors of his Presidential aspirations. Couldn’t that time have been better spent doing, oh, I don’t know, anything else that actually relates to his job duties?

This sort of paranoia isn’t new in politics, and it always leads to a person’s undoing. Sure, it took a while to catch up to Nixon, but look what it did to his legacy. The only sort of solace I can take in this is that this sort of pathological insecurity will eventually be this aide and/or Cuomo’s undoing. Still, there’s only so much sarcasm to make up for just how dark and gross this is, and what will eventually happen years down the road won’t make anyone sleep easier tonight.

Though I do chuckle a bit about how thin-skinned they are about the rumors of him running for President. I mean, really? C’mon, son. Andrew Cuomo has about as much chance of getting the Presidential nomination that Rick Santorum did, and his campaign would be every bit the shitshow. I just think back to when he tried to correct Charles Barron on hydraulic fracturing during a gubernatorial debate – he screamed “IT’S HYDROFRACKING!” not knowing that it was short for “hydraulic fracturing.” Look, you can get away with that sort of thing when your competition is a steampunk obsessed with rent control and a guy who jerks off to horse porn, but not when you’re running for President.

What the Hell is it about New York that attracts guys that act like impotent, insecure man-children?

Talking about the Times Union Best Of, the C-word, and more on Alternative 2 Sleep

April 15, 2012
By

From last Thursday, I called in to Ethan Ullman’s “Alternative 2 Sleep” program (broadcast live every Thursday at 10pm on WCDB FM in Albany and online at Comedy Pipe). We talk about the Times Union “Best of the Capital Region” poll, the c-word, Daniel Tosh’s call to arms (or hands on ladies’ stomachs), and much more. It’s hilarious, so give it a listen!

The transmitter went down so we swear. In other words, it’s NSFW! So put on your headphones, wait until you get home, or just play it if you work somewhere where they just don’t give a f***.

If you can’t view the player, click here.

Troy hospitals to stop offering family planning services?

April 13, 2012
By

Balloon Juice, via MergerWatch.org: Catholic affiliations mean Troy Hospitals can’t offer family planning, women’s health solutions

Due to Northeast Health’s recent mergers with Catholic organizations, two of Troy’s three hospitals – St. Mary’s and Samaritan – can no longer offer family planning services including but not limited to abortions, tubal ligations, and contraception counseling(!).

Samaritan’s solution was to institute essentially a hospital within a hospital that was independent of Catholic affiliations, creating a 20-bed independent maternity ward within its walls. Which I’m sure the people working there are just thrilled about given the already voluminous bureaucracy inherent in running a health care facility.

So the worst-case scenario was, in at least one instance, avoided. But the point is that this goes beyond simple rhetoric and is the sort of thing I think people don’t realize when they talk about religious exemptions. Those religious organizations are actual hospitals that serve the community. I think too many hear “the Catholic Church” and think that means its practices are limited strictly to the confines of church and convent walls. It’s about the hospitals they have a financial stake in that serve a vast majority of the community, which then in turn suffer due to the archaic whims of the Catholic Church.

Times Union employees & Albany Newspaper Guild take issue with Kristi Gustafson’s anti-union remarks

April 12, 2012
By

Someone passed this along to me anonymously right before I left work. Just got around to reading and…wow.

From The Albany Newspaper Guild’s response to Kristi Gustafson-Barlette’s anti-union comments on her Facebook:

“I find unions protect the weak, and don’t produce viable results. People don’t DESERVE raises, they earn them,” Kristi wrote in response to a reader. She went on to add: “If you believe you should earn more, and your company doesn’t give it to you, then leave — find another job.”

…

And she is dead wrong about unions, in general and the Guild specifically. Ironically, I remember when Kristi was an editorial assistant and came to me, upset because a member of management had said if she wanted to be a reporter, she should leave, get experience elsewhere and then apply to come back. I told her that two of her colleagues, Bob Gardinier and Dennis Yusko, had been told the same thing. They perserved and became reporters. I advised her to do the same. She did and succeeded.

As someone who has benefitted from being a member of the Guild and seen colleagues laid off, positions left unfilled after departures, and no raises in over five years, you’d think she’d know better.

I didn’t see the comment. I just hope, for her sake, she at least had the common sense to write that on her personal account rather than her work account.

Before and After…?

April 12, 2012
By

If you have any interest in sports, bodybuilding, and the drug problems inherent in both, you should check out the documentary Bigger, Stronger, Faster* by competitive weightlifter Christopher Bell. Bell has always prided himself on being drug-free and…well, let’s just say there’s only so much you can do without steroids. It goes into the world of sports, fitness modeling, bodybuilding, and other areas and pulls back the veil on a lot of the misinformation out there and just how prevalent PEDs really are.

I was reminded of the film today after a friend of mine on Facebook posted a status message asking why it was necessary that people in “after” photos for Fitness and Weight Loss programs are always at least five or six shades darker in skin tone. The answer, of course, is because most (if not all) of those photos are illusions. A lot of us already realize this; Don of course was being playfully facetious in simply pointing out the obvious rather than putting out an actual query. What people probably don’t realize, however, is that not only are those dramatic “before” and “after” pictures very easy to manipulate, but they’re often taken within close proximity of each other. Sometimes even on the same day.

See the clip below from the film, where Bell has a photographer who used to work in the trade subject him to the “before and after” photo manipulation process. It’s something I continue to find fascinating, particularly since I’ve always struggled with body image issues. Read more »

New date added: Comedy @ The Cask & Rasher in Coxsackie, NY April 21st (with William Hughes, Dan Schiller, Johnny Hustle)

April 9, 2012
By

Saturday, April 21st

Caffeinated Buddha presents
Stand-up Comedy at The Cask & Rasher
245 Mansion St.
Coxsackie, NY
8:00pm

Kevin Marshall
(MANville co-host; voted one of the best local comedians by readers of Metroland)
featuring William Hughes
with special guest Dan Schiller (MANville co-host)
hosted by Johnny Hustle (MANville co-host)

 

 

FREE SHOW! Preceded by a live recording of MANville at 6:00pm featuring
THE 2nd ANNUAL JIMMY PIGFEET CHALLENGE!
(details on the challenge forthcoming)

MANvilleShow.com | WilliamHughesIsFunny.com | KevinMarshallOnline.com
CaffeinatedBuddha.com| TheCaskAndRasher.com 

Bursting the Bubble

April 9, 2012
By

I’m not a foodie by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, I find much about foodie culture to be pretentious, cumbersome and borderline offensive. But I’ll spare you that rant. However, I do find myself reading Daniel Berman’s FUSSYlittleBlog, if only because he can actually write and addresses things like community, sustainability, marketing, and other aspects of food culture beyond typical foodie blog fare (“look what I made/ate!”).

In the last three years, Daniel has embarked on a crusade to improve the results of the Times Union’s annual reader “Best Of” poll*. He calls it the FUSSYlittleBallot: a collection of nominees and write-ins for food categories. The idea is that it will improve upon the typical winners of the Times Union’s poll, which tend to be overrated establishments or, worse and more frequently, national chain restaurants.

Earlier today he posted a response to criticisms that the ballot may be superfluous due to the existence of sites like Yelp. As Daniel notes:

Yes, Yelp and Urbanspoon are out there to help those who know of those resources and trust them. However, that’s still overall a very small section of the population. And even while the local newspaper’s role in public life is diminishing, it still reaches the largest percentage of those who live here. Plus it continues to be an authoritative voice in the community.

In other words (mine, not his), anybody who thinks the TU’s “Best Of” poll doesn’t matter because of Yelp can’t see past their own bubble.

It’s far from rare. To an extent, most of us live in a bubble. Our associations and communications are selective, often despite our best intentions. The internet, with its ability to unfriend, unfollow, and/or block out any information that perturbs or does not interest us, only exacerbates that.

But if we’re conscious and aware of it, the bubble is permeable. Unfortunately, the local arts and culture scenes don’t make enough of an effort or simply don’t know how.  I saw it in local theater, I see it in local online communities, and I even see it now in the comedy scene.

Whether you’re trying to get people to make better dining choices or trying to get them to come to your show, it’s important to get beyond the bubble. Otherwise, you’re going to be preaching to a choir that’s slowly but surely shrinking in size and enthusiasm (using  a cliche that invokes the Catholic Church in this example is no accident).

So if you’re really and truly interested in improving any and all aspects of our local culture, it behooves you to make the effort to get past your own bubble.

* This year’s “Best of the Capital Region” poll from the Times Union is particularly distressing in its ineptness. One of the nominees for “Best Local Concert” was for a Kings of Leon show at SPAC that never happened. “Best Local Tweeter,” a laughably inane category if there ever was one, nominated a person who moved to Chicago over a year ago. Most distressing, though, is the category of “Best Local Journalist,” which snubbed both Jordan Carleo-Evangelist and Jimmy Vielkind, who are the two consistently best and hardest working journalists under their employ. Nominated in their stead? Food critics and fashion bloggers. Shameful.

The War on Thought

April 9, 2012
By

You can’t call me naive, because I expect this sort of thing, even in 2012. Even so, I still find this very distressing.

There are people out there who, under the thin veil of good intentions, continue to wage a war on progress and thought. It’s a war that too many of us try to fight back with politeness. But we can’t and shouldn’t deign respect for this repugnance.

Some years ago a term was coined to describe the brain drain in this country; it was called a “quiet crisis.” The more I see, hear, and read, the more I am convinced that the “quiet crisis” is itself a symptom of the continued advancement of anti-intellectual ideas.

TONIGHT: Come see me perform w/ Michael Raive, Jen McMullen, Shawn Gillie, William Hughes & more at Waterworks Comedy Lounge

April 6, 2012
By

JUST ADDED!

Comedy for a Cause @ The Waterworks Comedy Lounge
FEATURING:
- Shawn Gillie
- Jennifer McMullen
- William Hughes
- Michael Raive
- Kevin Marshall

 

All of the proceeds go towards the Sexual Assault & Crime Victim’s Assistance Program of Rensselaer County.

Must be 18 and up with a valid ID.
Tickets:
$10 advance
$15 at the door
1 drink minimum.

SACVAP provides education, prevention, and crisis care services to victims of crime and their loved ones. Stop by, get a drink, have a laugh, and support the cause!

Videos of Me Doing Stand-Up are Available for Your Viewing Pleasure

April 6, 2012
By

Check them out HERE and subscribe on the YouseTubes.

Quick sample:

There’s, like, eight more? I don’t know, I suck at math. But you’re bound to find something you’ll like.

Oh, honey. No.

April 3, 2012
By

Look, I try not to be mean when it comes to people and their looks, especially in the type of society we live in now. In no way am I under any pretense that high standards of physical beauty never existed, nor do I labor under the misapprehension that shallow materialism is something that sprung up in the last decade. Thing is, though, we used to at least not revel in it. Some of you reading this remember those days before the internet and social media in all its forms either obliterated some people’s self-awareness or magnified their complete lack of it.

Enter Samantha Brick, who I think might just be our tipping point. Brick, a British television journalist, wrote a diatribe about how hard it is being exceptionally beautiful and all of the attention, both good and bad, it brings. Good in the form of random bottles of champagne ordered for her on airplanes, bad in the form of jealousy from other women. Normally I would just let out a tsk and roll my eyes, except…except there’s pictures, and…and…

Guys, there’s no way to put this lightly. She’s not pretty and her eyes are fucking cock-eyed.

LOOK.

Exhibit A, her eyes are fucking crooked.

Eh?

Er...

 

‘Lest you think I’m being mean, if you click on those images you’ll see that these are the examples she provided. Like, she was all “I am so beautiful, look at this.” Except no, not really.

I mean, God. I hate being this mean. But I hate her more for making me this mean! If it was done with the attitude of “look how pretty I am!” I’d be all “you go, girl!” But it’s done like “I am so much prettier than everyone else that they hate me for it” followed by stories and anecdotes that read like the ramblings of that nine-year-old pathological liar in your playground (who has also seen television shows you’ll never see because his family has a special box on his TV that his millionaire Uncle hooked them up with). What’s worse, though, is that it advances a misogynistic narrative of women as jealous, vile, and ultimately shallow creatures who will hate you for your beauty and success. It’s delusional but somehow also mean, and would be tragic if it weren’t so spiteful.

Samantha, if you’re reading this? …no. Just…just no.

 

 

Benefit for Leukemia & Lymphoma Society TONIGHT; Geek Salad appearance

March 30, 2012
By

TONIGHT!

Friday, March 30th
KEVIN MARSHALL & FRIENDS
to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society

@ Waterworks Comedy Lounge
76 Central Ave., Albany NY
Doors open @ 8:30pm

FEATURING: Kevin Marshall * Jaye McBride* Shawn Gillie * Jennifer McMullen * Doreen Watson * Kristin VanSteemburg

$10 in advance; $15 at the door

PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE

($10 donation to Chris Wessell’s “LLS Man of the Year” campaign; enter “Comedy Show” in “Message to Participant” field)

 

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I’m also on the latest episode of Geek Salad. Mike, Andy, and Jim take us on a hilarious romp down memory lane as they run down Wrestlemanias 11 through 20. With special appearances by Big Daddy V (me) and an interview Steve Henel conducted with dead wrestler medium Anthony Rappaport (me again).

 

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The Next Generation is Not Lost

March 29, 2012
By

Good news comes to me today from my oldest sister Davelyn’s Facebook:

Kudos for the girls elementary school for incorporating schoolhouse rock into their social studies curriculum. the girls are having fun watching the videos in school and are walking around singing these songs that we sang along with back in the 70′s.

Oh my God, that’s wonderful.

Also, don’t forget to get your tickets for Friday’s show. If you don’t make your $10 donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and come out to support us, then it means you love cancer. And I know that deep down, you aren’t like that.