The prevalence of Facebook and social media in the day to day lives of individuals has blurred the line between the public and the private. While it has bucked the tradition of anonymity provided by the internet, it hasn’t come with the increase in discretion that one would associate with having your name and public image associated with various statements and actions.
One of the most perplexing phenomena associated with social media: “It’s Complicated.”
“It’s Complicated” is one of the options one can select on Facebook when setting a relationship status. It’s also a movie starring Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep that, sadly, has American treasure Alec Baldwin saying the line “oh em gee.” The other options are single, in a relationship, engaged, married, in an open relationship, and widowed. Or you have the option of leaving it blank.
So with all those options and opportunities for disclosure or non-disclosure…what’s complicated?
Is the depth of your love beyond our feeble understanding? Is it an incredibly convoluted set of circumstances that can’t be defined by traditional means? Are you and your interest star-crossed lovers draped across different eras, only catching brief moments with each other through rips in the space-time continuum?
Is he Batman? He’s Batman, isn’t he? I knew it!
I’m addressing this to women because, for whatever reason, I find they do this far more frequently than men. Honestly, ladies, I just don’t understand what’s so complicated about the question of whether or not you’re seeing some dude. If you’re not his girlfriend, there’s nothing complicated about it. He’s either not interested, not interested enough to make a decision, or you’re the other woman. Is it really that complex?
Honestly, I wonder if it comes down to a desire for attention, conscious or no. Putting “It’s Complicated” as your status will invariably get you questions and inquiries that you may not be comfortable in answering. But if you’re not comfortable answering the questions, you shouldn’t invite them with that specific status. There are certainly those who put “It’s Complicated” as their relationship status due to a desire to have their friends go “oh sweetie, what’s wrong?
Though it’s not just the attention and concern from friends one may desire, but rather the actual love interest himself or herself. “It’s Complicated” may be a public plea for the other person to agree to – or come up with – a concrete definition of the relationship, or to give the person more care and attention. Seeing someone? “Well, it’s complicated…isn’t it, Daniel?”
Regardless, there’s nothing really that complicated about it. You’re either single or you’re not. You’ve either entered into a relationship or you haven’t. You either want to disclose the details or you don’t. Putting “It’s Complicated” isn’t an answer or a definition; rather, it’s an invitation to add even more discomfort, awkwardness, and confusion to what is already an obviously sticky situation.
My suggestion? Keep it as single or change it to a blank status. After all, you are essentially single, whether you want to admit it or not.
More importantly, I think you should find a guy or girl that actually wants to be with you. You deserve better than indecision, complication, half-hearted measures and uncertainty. Go find someone who, at the very least, will make you happy enough to not care what your status says on Facebook.
REACT: Have you ever set your status to “It’s Complicated” or do you have it set as that now? Why?
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