Kevin Marshall's America
A man running for the Republican nominatton for Agricultural Commissioner for the State of Alabama made waves with his unique brand of angry, no-nonsense, hilarious but deadly serious campaign ads.
The videos have to be seen to be believed. I was going to provide commentary and analysis, but Dale’s the sort of man whose life, deeds, and actions almost demand you tell them using a hard-nosed country folk tune as a narrative.
Wellllllllll
Rassle up your children and I’ll tell you a tale
Of a no-nonsense fella that went by the name of Dale
He served as a Marine in Vietnam
Was a cop, and a farmer, and a he had himself a plan
Polishing the blue steel of his rifle’s single barrel
He hatched himself a scheme that was reckless but still careful
He would serve up some truth in a hefty little dish
Get the GOP nod for Agricultural Commish
Everything was smooth, everything was going fine
But supporters of his opponent started stealing all his signs
Dale sprang into action, spry and clever like a fox
“I gotta get my face on that shiny little box”
He wasn’t out for adulation, no he didn’t want no fame
He just wanted the position and he wanted to name names
of the thugs and criminals that were causing such a stir
He’d bring his rifle with him and he’d take no prisoners
He was a bit too much a rebel, even for a Southern State
But at least he made a stir and told the truth at any rate
Caused a run-off election and he took a lot of pride
Went back to the airwaves and picked another side
So remember his story, and remember it well
and when it comes to Agriculture, you make sure you give ‘em Hell
Dale’s a true-blood American, and that’s a fact
And we’ll always remember—HEY, GET AWAY FROM THAT!
*BANG*
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7 Responses to The Ballad of Dale Peterson
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STALK ME
Hilarious. This guy’s got more gumption in his trigger finger than all our New York politicians put together!
Oh, and I’m endorsing Kevin Marshall because he gives a rip about his blog, and I better not catch any thugs or criminals posting nasty comments.
I love these spots — but it was a great campaign with poor results : Dale lost.
http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/heartache-dale-peterson-loses-alabama
From the Washington Post:
Dale Peterson returns, gives a rip
Dale Peterson is back — with a vengeance.
The straight-talking, rifle-toting candidate for Alabama Agriculture Commissioner, who came up short in his bid but whose, um, offbeat web ad garnered more than 1.7 million hits on You Tube, has released a sequel (and the crowd goes wild) endorsing one of his former rivals in the race.
“I’m endorsing John McMillan because he gives a rip about Alabama,” Peterson says in the new ad, in which he also fires a shotgun rifle at a man trying to steal one of McMillan’s campaign signs. (Not kidding.)
This is how northern I am. When I first read those lyrics, I thought “wait, Vietnam doesn’t rhyme with ‘plan.'”
HAHAHAHA
Geeze, I don’t know whether to like him or be scared of him. That was kind of shoot first and ask questions later. Uh, innocent people get killed that way.
Also, is he seriously proposing the death penalty for stealing those frigging annoying lawn signs? They should all disappear overnight. Who gives a rat’s ass who you’re voting for? Ooh, all my neighbors are voting for so and so. I’d better climb on board. Hilariously, all your neighbors lame enough to put signs on their lawn telling who they’re voting for usually have a pretty even mix.
I am glad I don’t live in Alabama.
I freaking love this guy!