Kevin Marshall's America
…for OH, how they suffer.
The latest ad campaign from Nike has Lebron James portraying himself at various stages in his life (including post-career) and asking the viewer “what should I do?”
The idea, of course, is that he wants to convey that he’s only human and he makes mistakes. To err is human, but do not take that to mean he’s going to apologize for any decision he’s made. If anything, YOU should apologize for the criticism you’ve leveled against him.
“What should I do,” Lebron asks in the ad. “Not listen to my friends?”
Various hypotheticals are introduced, including asking if he should embrace his role as villain and remove the tattoo on his back.
The video concludes with the statement “what should I do…be who you want me to be?”
If who you are is an unprofessional egomaniac that continues to exemplify everything that’s wrong with team sports in the 21st Century, then yes, exactly. That’s what you should do.
Like dippy Delaware Senate hopeful (yeah, keep hoping) Christine O’Donnell smiling into the camera and saying “I’m not a witch,” this video makes it clear that Lebron and the people around him just don’t get it. See, fans don’t think Lebron’s a jerk because he left Cleveland. It’s how he left Cleveland; the unnecessary drama , the double-talk, dragging people along and teasing his loyal fanbase all while making “The Decision” one of the most hyped and excruciatingly boring television events in history.
Oh, and there’s the whole thing with player collusion, but this is professional sports where we pretend things like that don’t happen. Also, the NFL doesn’t have a drug problem, okay you guys? They just all drink a lot of milk!
So there he is, Lebron James, throwing himself on the cross and accusing you, the fans, of poking him in the chest with the Lance of Longines. All because you deign to say to this man who gets paid a criminal amount of money to play a game “hey, would you mind at least pretending to be a professional? Just for a few minutes even.”
It is perhaps fitting that the Miami Heat, with their new Holy Trinity (how many Biblical references can I fit in here?) lost their season opener to the Boston Celtics. I’d announce the score, but even though you all know it, I’ll let Lebron schedule a primetime special on ESPN to tell you what it was.
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9 Responses to Pro Athletes are like Jesus..
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I told you last night, that commercial drove me nuts.
When I saw it live last night during the game and it finished I literally said, out loud, “Are you f*cking kidding me?!”
Good thing I haven’t seen the commercial yet, but I did see the debacle known as the new Miami Heat lose to the Celtics. At one point watching that game though, I couldn’t help but remember what happened to the Celtics a few years ago… Acquiring Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett in the hopes that they too could win a Championship. The difference between that situation though, was that Allen & Garnett were into their 30’s, neither the Sonics or the T-Wolves had even tried to get help for Allen & Garnett, and they both left on decent terms without becoming a spectacle.
On other note, there were easily 7 future Hall of Famer’s in that game last night…. D-Wade, Lebron, Chris Bosh, Shaq, Allen, Garnett, and Paul Pierce… scary to think.
Answer: I just want you to shut up and play basketball.
Kevin, you are tooooo cool. Love it:)
Ohio has every right to be pissed at the way he played with her emotions. She loved him and would have supported him wherever he went, but because he played with her emotions and dragged her along she felt betrayed when he decided to leave her. If he had been straightforward with her, they could have been friends, but now the damage is done and Ohio is a bitter and sad little lady who needs time before she can support him again.
I’ll stick to college foortball and basketball. Most of the time, it seems less frought with corruption.
No better way than to silence critique that your an egomaniac than make a commercial where you’re a martyr at your future hall of fame acceptance. Lmao- what do we want you to do? Shut up and play basketball dummy.
Ugh heard the commerical this morning… I just had time to google his ‘back tattoo’… how could I forget… the chosen 1… redic~
kevin marshall…you are a wordsmith. a frenetic, fabulous wordsmith