It’s only taken…oh, about nine years, but the general public has finally had enough with TSA agents and their invasive full body searches at airports.
The most recent hubbub surrounds a CNN piece about a man who, after telling a TSA agent that if he “touched his junk” he was going to have him arrested, was refused entry to a flight and may face up to $10,000 in fines for refusal to cooperate with the screening process.
Firstly, he should be fined $10,000 for being an adult and still referring to it as his “junk.” Listen, if you’re not a twenty-year-old frat boy wearing a backwards baseball cap, please call it anything but your “junk.” I know that it’s sort of apt because like real junk nobody’s going to seriously consider playing with it unless they’re some sort of weird hobbyist, but still. Let’s be grown-ups.
The video is below.
Travel is stressful enough without the added benefit of molestation by screeners. The TSA is adamant that it must preserve the screening process for the safety of all involved, but I call bollocks on that assertion. I think there’s something to be said for being willing to play to the sensitivities of individuals who may not be comfortable with some of the more invasive aspects of searches at airports. Simply offering them private space isn’t enough, as it’s always offered with a tone that says “if you do take us up on this, you’re a difficult jerk.” An offer isn’t an offer if it’s laid out with the implication that actually taking them up on it is a great inconvenience.
Americans are in an uproar, but the old adage holds about pointing one finger at the TSA while four more point back at yourself. Americans were warned by many, many pundits and individuals that they were allowing their government and its agencies to go too far in the name of “national security,” and for nine years we sat back because we allowed fear, anger, and all those other things that don’t constitute our better angels to allow invasions of privacy to occur all in the name of freedom and security and America and beer and racecar drivers.
Still, where is the line between personal safety and respect for privacy and human dignity? Also, what happened to the days when you had to go to the bathroom and throw a wide stance to get an HJ at Albany International? These are difficult questions, to be sure, but common sense and decency can be of a great service in providing an answer.
As for me? I won’t enjoy it, but I’m not going to threaten to arrest someone for touching my privates at the airport. I am, however, going to chuckle to myself. Because as much as we worry about the invasion and attacks from outside forces, we always end up being our own worst enemy, and the guy who brushed up against my privates is the perfect example of that.
Meanwhile, I’ll go back to my job and earn my measly wage behind this desk, far away from your junk and that of the millions of others who have to go through this uncomfortable and unusual process.
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…
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