Kevin Marshall's America
Our second installment of TALES OF THANKSGIVING!
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As I was taking the obligatory post-meal nap during the Pats/Lions game, I had a moment where I felt like I was drifting briefly back into consciousness. In this half-sleep haze I dreamt of an irritatingly precocious indie-rock duo singing a crappy rendition of a holiday classic in a car commercial.
It was a convergence of all those things I hate most: automotive ads, hipsters, and music that makes boring white people go bonkers. What a nightmare!
Then, last Sunday, I visited YouTube to watch a video of a baby monkey riding backwards on a pig (it never gets old!). When I reached the website, I saw an ad and had a shocking realization:
HOLY S***, IT WAS REAL!
The commercial is part of Hyundai’s “Hyundai Holidays” ad campaign. Hyundai, not content to merely cheapen the holiday, actually found an hipster indie darling duo to provide the images and music for this crap.
Forget all the O’Reilly rants. THIS is the real War on Christmas.
Who cares if their music is disposable and forgettable? LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS AND ADORABLE THEY ARE! OMG OMG OMG!
The duo call themselves Pomplamoose. Their name is an intentional bastardization of a French phrase that roughly translates to “poor man’s She & Him” (who themselves are incredibly overrated). Pimplemooses gained notoriety with their “quirky!” and “delightful!” YouTube videos, which featured them performing new material and old standards like The Chordettes’ “Mr. Sandman” with all the originality and depth you’d expect from a generation of indie musicians woefully underexposed to good music and possessing an alarming lack of taste and shame.
These acts are becoming all too familiar to the music scene: bland, uber-Caucasian music that plays it safe and lazy, but with a cheeky smile that makes people think that they’re somehow doing something new and adventurous and different.
Is this what my generation has evolved into? Are we really that easy to manipulate?
Yep.
We’ve been fooled into thinking that the internet has somehow made us more aware, smarter, and less subservient to outside influences; that we’re so clever and with it. The reality of the situation is that we’re stupid, annoying brats who only feign a predisposition towards higher forms of music and art. What’s worse, despite our attempts to appear ironically whacky and out there, we’re so easily pigeon-holed that a foreign car company doesn’t even have to waste time creating a fake band. They can just pluck the stereotype from YouTube: new music that isn’t new music at all, thrown under a veil of internet humor in a half-hearted attempt to lend it credibility.
It’s the artistic equivalent of a joke told by a child who has forgotten the punchline because he didn’t understand what it meant in the first place.
Anyway, here’s a couple examples of these terrible f***ing ads with the terrible f***ing music.
Exhibit A (the offender that brought this to my attention):
Exhibit B:
Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always preferred rock stars who shamelessly self-destruct over those that shamelessly sell out.
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67 Responses to The Most Annoying Commercials Ever Made -or- Why I Hate White People
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Agreed – those commercials suck. (And there will always be more glory in self-destruction than selling out.)
Is that a guy or a girl? It looks like my brother before he hit puberty.
Em - What if it WAS your littlbe brother? Would you defend his honor to me or (anonymously) throw him under the bus?
Consider your response carefully. American’s watching.
Umm nothing beats those AWFUL AWFUL Burger King breakfast commercials. I wouldn’t be surprised if these guys were responsible for that garbagio…
If I were in an indie pop band today, my first question about every song I wrote would be, “Would this sound good in a Target commercial?” Because, while I’m all about artistic integrity, I gots bills to pay.
Wow, guy. You just discovered the Internet doesn’t solely create new content, but takes part in the greater human dialogue, from things petty to deep.
Welcome back to modern, human society.
“Call me old fashioned, but I’ve always preferred rock stars who shamelessly self-destruct over those that shamelessly sell out.”
You’re old-fashioned. That, or a shameless hipster. As in “How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Oh, some obscure number you’re never heard of”-type hipster. Why do you care if their making money on their talent?! You’ve jumped fully into “making money == selling out” mental trap.
Not all art has to be a Mozart symphony, Kurosawa’s “Dreams”, or the Sistine Chapel celing. Some art can simply be hip (for lack of a better word), who’s moment is supposed to be exactly for when it is produced. I suggest reading Manny Farber’s “White Elephant Art v. Termite Art” essay from 1962. Things of true beauty and things of unashamed in-the-moment-ness can both stand as art.
Also: deep breaths, man; deep breaths.
Oh, good,I thought I was the only one who hates those commercials. I figured people found the group singing to be cute. Where as, I just want to smack that girl in the face. How’s that for Christmas spirit?
Armando – To be clear, the shameless selling out is not nearly as big of an issue as the fact that they suck and are annoying.
Ah, if that was my brother then the music would be better.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I am so pleased that someone wrote about how unoriginal and boring this band is. I checked them out further on youtube after seeing the hyundai commercial and could not believe the praised they received. I live in Brooklyn with my husband and we are surrounded by hipsters and indie rock. I love some indie bands, however many are a dime-a-dozen these days. This band included. Why, oh why, does the girl singer have zero affect? She truly looks like a deer in headlights. If anyone who adores this band wants to come to Brooklyn, you will see that there are a zillion people who not only look, but sound like this duo. Please, originality in music, come back!
Thanks.
It’s astoundingly ironic to read you declaring something pretentious.
“It’s astoundingly ironic to read you declaring something pretentious.”
I will echo odelay1000’s (and, originally, DJ Tanner’s) sentiment, “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I first came across these guys, I think, watching a YouTube video of them covering ‘Single Ladies.’ My reaction was, “Well this is a waste of time.” When the commercials came on I was astounded by the level of sell-out-itude going on, and that’s not even something that usually bothers me. I guess if I like a group, I’m OK with them making money for writing good songs.
Pomplamoose, however, is just awful. Just. awful.
The only thing I appreciate about these Hyundai commercials is that they don’t end with someone yelling “HUGGEEEE!” at the end.
I hate all commercials to be honest and usually mute them. The problem I have though is that my brother is a car dealer so I could care less about car commercials, have no interest in feminine hygeine products and the rest are just plain sexist anyway with the male being made to look foolish. Take the postal package commercial where the wife “tricks” the husband into going to the mall because shipping is easier. I feel like jumping into the TV and saying “look honey, I’m sitting my butt down to watch football – you ship and shop and do whatever you have to and if there’s enough light left in the day MAYBE I’ll hang those lights around the garage!”
This commercial stopped me dead in my tracks when I first heard it. I could feel my nose and brow become all twisted up as I was processing this unfortunate ad. It gets me every time. Horrifying.
These two hipper than thou hipsters are another reason
why all Baby Boomer offspring should have been tossed
in the river. Too late now .Pass me a Pabst. Or is that
passe too now?
I think it’s one thing to say “they suck and I don’t like them,” and entirely another to try to make it about some kind of cultural high-ground.
You have an entire blog devoted to a sport where people beat eachother’s brains into hamburger, but you’re somehow outraged by a jingle because it cheapens our collective experience? Mreh?
Not to dismiss your point with “MMA isn’t music,” but MMA isn’t music. That’s like saying I don’t have a point because this one time I wrote about Carl Paladino. What does one have to do with the other?
I took my annoyance at the jingle and parlayed it into a greater point about music. I wasn’t outraged by the jingle because it cheapens our collective experience. I was annoyed by the jingle, and then it led to my greater point about how these acts really are a dime a dozen, and far too prevalent and given wayyyy more credit than they deserve. And all because we’re too lazy to say otherwise.
precocious guy/girl duos are 1 rung on the hipster ladder below fashion hicks dressed like civil war vets.
aside from the fact that these ads suck…here’s my take on the uber-indie-folk scene….self indulgant crap by pseudo-hippies, who are TRYING to be quirky. Almost as annoying as an 11 year old gangsta rapper.
Here’s the process fro becoming an Indie-artist:
1) wear a winter hat all year
2) don’t shower or shave
3) complain about “regular” people,like your parents, the gov’t and “the Man”
4) learn to play odd instruments (i.e. the glockenspiel)
5) hang out at coffee shops with others that look and act just like you, and comment on how everyone else looks and acts like eachother.
but then again, what do I know, I am a middle aged white guy.
It’s hard to sell out when most people have no idea who the hell you are.
That said, I find them mildly endearing — but I’ve always had a weakness for cutesy nonsense and innocuous pop. If that makes me “boring white people,” I’ve been called worse.
As bad as hipsters are, these hipster parents are worse:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql-N3F1FhW4
Fie on you Kevin Marshall for bringing this pox on my house, I could have lived my whole life without Pomplamoose in it! They almost redeemed themselves by having the great Allee Willis in one of their clips, but no, even that was another wink and nudge over a joke only they seem privy to. Do they even know who she is, or did her name come up in Pitchfork as someone tres cool?
At least you didn’t use a cheap “state worker” ploy to increase blog hits.
The simplest things capture the simplest minds…
If only everyone’s minds weren’t so simple. Never saw the commercials before you posted this, waited til I got home so I could hear what you’re…umm…complaining about.
An aside, folks who know me well have been trying to push me to Indie Rock. Just can’t seem to get into it. I love my hard rockers. I love them so much. I can’t stop and I like to think it’s just my guilty pleasure – the time I set aside for myself to scream along with someone who seems just as frustrated as I am sometimes. “My” music is getting old, thus I must confess so am I. “SAY IT AIN’T SOOOOOOOOOO!!!” my mind screams. And then my brain reminds me that I always listened to “old” music anyway, so f-it. I’m not old at all! HA! Take that, rational mind!!
omg omg omg
YOU ARE SO EFFING INCREDIBLY RIGHT ON.
THANK GOD OTHER PEOPLE WERE AS ANNOYED, IRKED, and PISSED OFF as I was after seeing these commercials.
I want to punch this a-hole band in their collective faux-indie face.
Wait, am I cool because I listen to WEQX and Sirius Alt-Nation? Or is it now cool to hate EQX and Alt-Nation… ?
Either way, I find her inability to hit more than one note and constant sideways-staring annoying.
I thought the ‘she’ was Justin Bieber on a bad hair day. I gotta get new contacts.
“Don’t hate white people” (or Bill O’Reilly). Hate “PC America” media. Stop watching the gosh darn Today Show. In your post, you mention your anger vs. a television commercial. Multiply your anger times 10 when you watch mainstream American media news. Skewed. I disagree with you if you think that “white people” are running the show in regards to mainstream media in the United States.
…WHAT?!
Chill out Bono
Maybe someone hasn’t told Bono (or maybe Adam Clayton?) that we’ve been working hard to end that stereotype of the Irish as blathering drunks.
First off I hate the commercials too.
As far as selling out I am sure they tried to get the landlord of their Williamsburg loft apartment to accept hipster street cred and internet buzz as payment for rent but he wasn’t having it.
@Kevin Markshall —
Everyone is definitely entitled to their opinion on their music; I find them a bit cutesy, and they’re not really my cup of tea.
I guess I may have been in a little bit of rage-mode yesterday, but I otherwise stand by my points.
Furthermore, I think the “rant aspect” of your post can really be applied to all “holiday music” ever made. Even the stuff that we tend to think of as nostalgic these days.
Pamplemousse is french for grapefuit, isn’t it?
Steve - Yes it is.
‘miraculously’, after reading this yesterday, i saw the commercial for the first time last night. the only thing that could have made it worse was the inclusion of joanna newsom.
I hate that commercial, and I am SO SICK of all the inane, quirky hipster music that has pervaded our media culture. I hate hipsters and all of their damned ironic facial hair, American Apparel, and PBR-swilling.
Kevin, thank you for articulating beautifully what I could not sufficiently express. I think I love you.
That’s funny. The first couple times I saw this, I was trying to figure out if Zooooey Deshchsannelle (sp?) dyed her hair some sorta ashy blond for some reason. (And I have no idea what “Him” looks like except for a vague idea of some wacky “guy who plays the instruments”).
But no, I guess old fashioned guy/girl duo bands are a thing now, huh?
Ah well. The mute button is my friend around the holidays anyway.
i just have to say again, that i agree wholeheartedly with this posting! pomplamoose is so overrated. there are a multitude of hipster bands that sound and look like they do. also, the videos they create of multiscreen/split screen has been done 300X over and playing kid instruments is nothing new. to me what blows my mind is the thousands of people (of all ages) on youtube who are writing that pomplamoose is “so original”, “profound”, “totally different”, “super creative”,etc. scary. plus, the boredom and blank stares of the girl singer are irksome to no end.
there really are very few voices of dissent about them. i can understand if someone is a tween or teen loving them, but come on. maybe i sound bitter and old, but i miss originality in music so much. well, i am going to get off my soapbox now and put energy towards things i like. i just really love music so i wanted to speak my mind. hipster bands are way too ubiquitous now. enjoy the holidays everyone, without pomplamoose. take care.
Dammit just saw the commercial for the first time, and it sucked much less when it was a 6″ video on my laptop. Now it sucks 8.333 times as much on my 50″ TV.
Oh my gosh…I am so thankful for this blog post. And for you, Mr. Marshall. Your post is my early Christmas gift. These commercials are so gross and obnoxious that I turn off the tv when they come on- I can’t even get by with the mute button because they are hideous to watch as well. Your commentary is right on. I had no idea that they were a “real” band. that makes it even worse.
Thank you, Mr. Marshall. God bless you!!
Can we stop the talk about the role of the internet in a postmodern information society and get back to the talk of “smacking that girl in the face” please.
Oh thank everything good great and grand that so many others feel the same way I do. This commercial comes on and it is like a bad train wreck. That guy is useless which makes me focus on the girl singing in a horribly hollow way that sucks anything of essence out of this song. The the director of the commercial has the audacity to put her face right up to the camera so that we have to see that not only is her voice hollow, her whole expression and empty super-blinky stare is just as hollow. It actually takes the gladness out of me everytime I hear those commercials come on. It is like a hatred for her wells up inside me. I do not want to cause harm to her. i just want to shake her and tell her, with tears running down my cheek, to reach deep down and feel something. The girl needs a good cathartic cry which is ironically is the same thing I need after being sucked into her black hole of apathy.
Gee and i thought it was just a commercial.
sorry but i find her extrememly cute. love it every time it airs. can’t get enough of her.
Chill out! She’s cute and they’re friends of “Weird Al”. What else is Christmas if not transient fluff?
This campaign is the worst…a close second is the TJ MAXX/MARSHALLS kill me singalongs
I like the commercial too…and nowhere in the commercial does it mention who the performers are, so unless you’re a casual observer of the indie “hipster” scene you probably wouldn’t know either. And far be it from Hyundai to appeal to one of the few niches that actually buy their cars.
The current worst Xmas commercials are:
Kay Jewelers: how is that open heart design still being sold so mainstream — it looks like a QVC special
Hippos — There’s something really bothersome to me about the guy in the commercial.
EZ – It actually does specify who they are in all the the online ads, particularly the ones on YouTube. As I noted in the post, I discovered who they were from those online ads.
Gotcha…I didn’t see them on YouTube yet, I’m still too fascinated with Autotuned stuff there…
It’s not The Gregory Brothers, but one of my favorite auto-tunes is Billy Mays.
ha
Want to know why I hate white people? Three words: GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE.
haha
Those commercials were awful.
I cannot stand those commercials! The singing is horrible, not at all cute and they both need to take a shower. GO AWAY!!!!
these Pomplamoose a-holes used to live in my neighborhood of 20 years in San Francisco, Lower Haight ( an early petri dish of hipsterism along with Portland and Willamburg. One of them is a Stanford alum (so much for even hipster cred). I rue the day I saw these dweebs on television. gadzooks!
Awesome.
I found this article by googling “annoying haundai holidays commercial”.
Speaking as a 35 year old white ex-hipster…I’m not a big fan of honkies or this commercial.
Kevin, all we can hope for is one of them to get strung out on heroin/meth. Bash a few hotel rooms and/or kill a hooker.
Unfortunately it will ultimately lead to said meth-head cleaning up their act and becoming famous for their “miraculous comeback”.
And as you can tell I’m also not a big fan of the white man’s comma.
That damn commercial is still on every commercial break on every channel, and Christmas was three days ago! I have now shot every television in my house, twice, and I am going to go outside and start shooting Hyundais. See you on the evening news.
Kid pulled into a couch, chicken pops out, might be for string cheese, but I change channels (quickly) when it comes on.
Clear Blue (?) woman in gray dress. She looks like my ugly relative.
Current Jingle Bells song, not sure if it’s a car dealership or what it is. Voice is flat and pukey.
LOVE THESE: Child’s wonderment…I believe it’s Mott’s Apple Sauce. She loves it, really “loves” it. I also liked the cute kid drinking juice–Welch’s (?) maybe. I also love the Ritz cracker commercial where the boy creates a trail to a cute little girl’s house and then knocks on the door.
I don’t even know you, but I love you for this. Everything I was thinking in a nutshell. These commercials represent everything that annoys me about fixed-gear bike riding, twee, vegeterian “musicians” who churn out crap like this.
I am a 32 year old male and these Hyundai holiday ads make me want to die. I don’t want to live in a world where something so annoying is supposed to appeal to me. And the funny thing is, just before this campaign started, I was starting to like Hyundai and was even considering purchasing one. I will never drive one now. They have entered my blacklist just like Quiznos did after the screaming fuzz-ball commercials.
The South Koreans are supposed to be our allies. Why do they torture us so?
Loathe, loathe and loathe this commercial, but the newer one is even more loathesome because the Creepy Chick STARES RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA and thorougly sickens me before I have the chance to look away. Plus I keep wondering why this horror continued after Christmas (hello, the Holiday is over; Toyota, so reckless and dangerous they don’t bother to fix their brakes, let alone stop their punitive bitchery of a Christmas horror carol from ruining New Years.)
She’s worse than that Depressed Guy in that Depression Tablet commercial who STARES RIGHT INTO THE CAMERA with the Eyes of Death as the announcer demands “Are you depressed?” Well I wouldn’t be if they stop airing this godawful vomitiously twee skinny-panted indie duo commercial. Yuk.
Please, in the name of all that is holy, STRIKE THIS PATHETIC AD CAMPAIGN FROM THE AIRWAVES! I used to like Hyundai cars. Now, I’m not sure I can ever bring myself to buy one. Pomplamoose SUCK!
Both of these no-talent @ss clowns should be sent to the Temple of Doom where they have to mine for the last crystal that the crazy bald Indian guy is obsessed with
and of course…the girl plays bass.