Resolution (rez-uh-loo-shuhn) n.
1. A promise one makes to one’s self that s/he has no intention of keeping.
My New Year’s resolution is to quit smoking!
2. An Irish Catholic tradition of generating more self-loathing by openly pointing out and proclaiming ones areas of deficiency and making an empty, half-hearted gesture to do something to fix it.
My New Year’s resolution is to lose twenty pounds. This gym membership will most likely go unused, though.
I could tell you that neither applies to me, but that’s because I haven’t made any formal or declarative resolutions in the last few years.
I have some friends who are vocal in their contempt for New Year’s resolutions. Most of them claim they make resolutions whenever they need to be made and don’t wait for the calendar year to flip to make the needed changes.
…okay, whatever. I’m going to make some because let’s face it, there’s always room for improvement (even for a local treasure such as myself) and it’s all in good fun.
RESOLUTION #1: Make resolutions for 2011.
RESOLUTION #2: Make an effort not to be single.
I don’t want to say “get a girlfriend,” because who wants to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship? I think it’s better to say I should open myself up to it. I’ve been comfortable being single for too long, to the point where I know I’ve missed out on some opportunities.
RESOLUTION #3: Drop down to a solid 160.
I’m not nearly as big as I was a few years ago, but while I was able to make strides with my cardiovascular health I definitely got a bit soft. I’m on the right track, though, thanks to the folks over at NY Boxing in Cohoes. Speaking of which…
RESOLUTION #4: Become halfway decent at boxing.
Right now I can just about make it through their intensive one-hour workouts. I want to eventually get to a point where I can potentially spar with someone and be able to hold my own.
RESOLUTION #5: Get 5K time under 25 minutes; run a 10K competitive race.
Outdoor running gets a bit precarious this time of year, so this one might have to wait until the Spring.
RESOLUTION #6: Go down to New York City more often.
I have good friends and family down there that I don’t see nearly as much as I want to.
RESOLUTION #7: Try to read at least one book a week.
2010 was an all-time low for me personally when it came to leisure reading, and I think it’s actually made me dumber. I need to make the time and the effort to put everything away, turn on a lamp, and cozy up with a book for at least a half-hour a night.
RESOLUTION #8: Improve ability to tell when girls like me.
I am absolutely terrible at this.
RESOLUTION #9: Quit eating Reese’s Pieces.
If there’s one “junk food” that could be considered a weakness, it’s these. Time to cut ‘em out.
RESOLUTION #10: Make new friends.
Because I enjoy having new people in my life.
Folks! What’re YOUR New Year’s Resolutions?
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…
- Listen to me LIVE as guest co-host of Alternative to Sleeping tonight at 10pm!
- Realtors: “WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” George Hearst III: “NONONOO SSSSHHH IT’S OKAY, it’s okay…here. Here’s a pacifier.” Kristi: “#oops.”
- Open Mic web series premiere tonight @ Lark Tavern
- Trust Me, You’re Going to Want to See This