Kevin Marshall's America
Can you blame him?
Okay, not really, but he has asked Albany bars if they’d consider doing their last call at 2:00am instead of 4:00am (courtesy Steve Barnes’ Table Hopping blog).
Citing an increase in rowdiness, assaults, rapes and other crimes after 2:00am, Jennings has asked that bars consider closing earlier for the good of the city.
“It’s my conclusion that not a lot of good things happen between 2:00am and 5:00am,” Jennings told a collection of Albany tavern owners.
Without a county-wide ordinance, though, it doesn’t appear likely to happen. Bars expressed apprehension due to the fact that some experience over half their business during those hours, and there’s no guarantee that if they agree to the 2:00am call that other bars will fall in line.
My feeling is that the data and statistics present may not tell the full story, and Jennings’ approach may be simply attacking the symptom of a much larger problem. Moving last call back to 2:00am, even if done through a County ordinance, could very well result in those crimes occurring with the same frequency but earlier in the evening. Due to the fact that it’s made up largely of students, Albany Night Life is not a culture that will be radically altered by pushing back Last Call, nor will it prevent them from going out earlier or worse, drinking with higher frequency over a shorter period of time.
I propose instead that Albany County pass an Anti-D*****bag Ordinance, which would make the following behaviors illegal after 10:00pm:
- Wearing Affliction t-shirts and/or other apparel
- Saying the word “bro” three or more times in succession
- Screaming – not shouting, but actual screaming
- Fauxhawks
- Popped-up shirt collars
- Grown men with tigers on their pants, shirts, or jackets that aren’t part of a sports logo
- Sideburns that are styled to a sharp point at the end
- Visible tattoos of Chinese symbols and/or that the wearer describes as “tribal”
- Wearing baseball caps cocked to the side
A small sampling, to be sure, but it’s a constructive start to addressing the problem of people being jerks when they’re out.
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22 Responses to Jerry Jennings Hates North Pearl Street
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STALK ME
aahhhh dhose kids…back in my time….
ok how about this one – NO eating at a table with your stinking hat on…sideways, backwards, or the way a hat is actually worn – with the brim pointed towards the god damn front, and especially no flat brimmed thingees. NO HATS AT THE DINNER TABLE.
joe - I’m with you 100% on that one.
I concur!
A good start would be making sure that the people inside the bars drinking are of legal age. If that rule was enforced it would solve a lot of the problem. Nothing worse than a drunk 19 year old punk with beer muscles, a tribal tattoo, a cig in his left ear and a side ways hat..oh and a wife beater.
The hat thing should be ALL flat-brimmed hats, not just those that are cocked to one side. I would also like to add no pants falling below the undie line, giant metal neck chains or K-Swiss sneakers.
Or goatees. Ever.
I was going to suggest that 18-20 year olds should be accompanied by a parent. Said parent must stay sober and sign an assumption of ALL responsibility for their children’s actions.
I would have suggested that, but these are the Summer’s Eve Boxes from whence these bottles and nozzles came.
BID: Bar Improvement District.
And for the female population?
The female population doesn’t get in nearly as many fistfights, etc.
But things that can get you arrested after 10pm for D****ettes:
– Turning to the side and putting your hands on your hips for every single picture
– Putting your finger up in front of your face as you’re yelling
– Randomly going “woooooooo” out of nowhere and for no apparent reason
– Bump-Its
– A spray tan that literally emits an odor
– Six-inch heels or greater
– No sleeves in 40 degree weather
But when it comes to women, there’s no spotting or stopping crazy until it’s far too late.
Nice job. Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
I love how you described Snooki.
Amanda - I think it’s more that Snooki accurately encompasses all that’s wrong.
Haha, bravo! An agreeable alternative to us responsible night owls being punished for the d****ebaggery of others.
Good point.
*edit* Fauxhawks/Blowouts
can’t forget those fellas, typically linked to a Heineken and/or Patron shot, maybe even a Jaeger Bomb
Kevin, consider this a long overdue wake up call! and now that downtown Albany is in danger off being “cut off” perhaps they will change the attitude that has led to this! SO let there be–
NO more bouncer douchbaggery
No more collegate cliquery
and most of all NO more disrepect of the UKMA because as you are now learning, If you mess with him, hes gonna mess with U!!!
I think Snooki and Mayor Jennings are related … same coloring.
Fauxhawks and styled sideburns should be illegal at all times, not just after 10. To be fair, so should bump-its.
Maybe you should run for mayor?
Sue – as a resident of Troy, I’d be ineligible.
Anyone remember the days when when Pearl Street – from the Times Union Center to Capital Repertory Theatre to the Palace Theatre – was known as Albany’s Theatre District, rather than just a place to get drunk?
You know, if I hadn’t lived in a town where the bars closed at 2am, I’d be inclined to think as you did (i.e., that the “problem hours” would just be moved earlier), but I have to say it really was nicer – and this was my college town, so it’s not as if I was old and cranky when I lived there.
True, Oswego is a lot sleepier than Albany, but I’ll instead compare Glens Falls. It doesn’t have the “issues” that Albany may have between 2am and 5am, but I can say that, as someone who has been at the bar until last call (many moons ago – 4am is waytoolate for me now … hell, so is 2am for that matter!), and it was just downright creepy.
The reason? Fewer people are around. Social drinkers do, on occasion, stay out until 2am (that tends to be late for a social drinker, but not unheard of). So, quite simply, last call is filled with revelry and fun – the bar is usually still pretty full, and last call is a celebration of sorts. At 4am? It’s depressing at best and a bit scary at worst.
I do, however, love your anti-d-bag ordinance. :)
Love the anti-d-bag ordinance but I propose yet another criteria. Pants must be worn at the waist line and not below the buttocks. No underwear of any kind, boxes, briefs or thongs should be visible. This goes for women too! If your pants are likely to slip below the waist line a belt is required to keep them secure.
Kevin – Gerry spends most of his time out of Albany so residency shouldn’t matter.
One other thing to add for the D****ettes, no posing for pictures with a duck face. It’s just wrong.