WIFE BEATER WEEKLY
News on Dudes who Commit Domestic Violence & the People that Pay Them

You might remember Hiram Monserrate. He was as one-half of the Democratic tag team that jumped ship to caucus with the Republicans in the State Senate and caused a stalemate that brought State government to its knees, and was put on trial after video showed him violently dragging and pushing his girlfriend out of their apartment after he allegedly slashed her in the face. Well, Hiram’s in the news again, but this time nobody’s being victimized…except, perhaps, for fans of fine cuisine! Monserrate, who was removed from the Senate last year in light of the allegations against him, is working at a pizza shop in Queens. He didn’t pound that dough, officer, it cut itself and he was just trying to get it some help!

Meanwhile, across the river, fellow knife-wielding maniac Charlie Sheen was taking a break from praising prostitutes and victimizing all other women by taking his “comedy” show to Radio City Music Hall. Shockingly, the crowd had the audacity to boo the man. Not even attacking film director Oliver Stone could turn the crowd back in his favor…and nobody likes Oliver Stone movies anymore.

—–

In all seriousness, boy oh boy. Glad to see these guys getting what’s coming to them, though I’m still a bit baffled as to why anyone would buy a ticket to see a manic drug addict ramble and spit out catchphrases, let alone one with such a terrible history of violence against women.

3 Responses to Wife beater weekly

  1. u2 says:

    There are a few more downstate Senators I’d like to see flipping pies with Hiram. Missed Sheen, however, did see the round of the year. Diaz/Daley. Instead of “TKO (punches)” the official score should be “TKO (out-chined opponent)”

    • I missed that fight, but saw the highlights on SportsCenter. Asked around and was told “yeah, you saw the fight.” Freaking insane. And it confirmed my previously held judgement on Daley: dangerous, but not very good.

  2. Roz says:

    I’m just as baffled as you are, Kevin. I think it’s that people cannot separate Charlie’s TV character from himself. I saw Robin Williams in 1986. Sitting nearby was a horrified mother with two young teen girls. They were seriously expecting Williams doing “Mork.”

Leave a Reply to Roz Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>