The unforeseen consequences of legalizing gay marriage

Fabuloso, the hard energy creature composed of the combined fabulousness of a thousand gay marriages, could be an unforeseen consequence of same-sex marriage that terrorizes our State.

The combined force of thousands of gays getting married simultaneously creates a creature composed of fabulous energy that terrorizes our city. Scoff all you want, but we don’t know what we’re unleashing here, okay?

Knights of Columbus Halls will be invaded by gays. This is actually a real one being brought up by Greg Ball among others. “Wait, what if a gay couple just wanted to rent it for an anniversary or any other function other than a wedding reception?” Ssssshhhhh.

Children turning gay. Another one that’s actually being cited by some of the more extreme elements of the opposition. For my (potentially not safe for work) response, click here.

A crippling floral shortage.  Florists are among the hardest working, and most overly taxed, members of our nation’s work force, and that’s only with straight marriages to attend to. If we allow the entire gay community who are apt to use more flowers in more extravagant arrangements to get married, would the industry be ready or would they be crushed by the demand?

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I have been accused of being mean and unfair to some very good people.  To that I can only say that these very good people have opened themselves up to criticism with inconsistent stances, circular rants, and kowtowing to unfounded concerns.

More important than that is that there’s a lot of intellectual dishonesty going on here. Which, in and of itself, isn’t anything new. Politics, particularly on the State level, is about the compromises and deals that are made before the vote is taken. The vote itself, in most cases, is an afterthought. I get that and accepted it a long, long time ago.

Just not in this case.

There is a fine line and a distinction that needs to be made when it comes to civil rights as opposed to what normally constitutes “state business.” Although melodrama is heaped onto all issues – first by politicians looking to increase political pressure on otherwise friendly opposition, then by pundits who get paid to do such a thing, and then the average person who just doesn’t know any better – in the grand scheme of things there are more important things. Most issues on the State level do impact us and should not be treated frivolously, but they do not carry with them the same grave importance that civil rights do.

Which is why it’s equally maddening when someone says that there are more important issues than same-sex marriage. To you, perhaps, but not to those who are denied that right. “Not now” and “we’re not ready” has been the excuse used for a litany of injustices in our society over the course of our nation’s history: from slavery to segregation to and beyond. Some would scoff at the inclusion of same-sex marriage in that list, but it absolutely belongs there.

This isn’t a vote on semantics or fiscal minutiae. It’s a very basic and fundamental thing that so many of us, myself included, took for granted and that has wrongly been kept from others.

For so many years – thousands in fact – we could plead ignorance and say we didn’t know any better. But now, in 2011, we do know better and have for quite some time. Shamefully, not all of us are ready to admit it publicly.

Same-sex marriage is expected to hit the floor of the Senate today. It is hoped that it will pass. For the sake of freedom and those most directly affected by the issue, I join that chorus happily.