Kevin Marshall's America
Marcus Bachmann
Some of you may recognize that line as a lyrics from the Denis Leary song “A**hole.” If you’re like me and you hate people pointing out the obvious, you better buckle down and summon up all the patience you have because you’re going to need it over the course of the next couple weeks.
The heatwave that’s engulfed the Midwest is heading our way, and the Times Union is ON IT:
Along with the rest of the state, the Capital Region is bracing for Wednesday’s arrival of a heat wave that has baked the central U.S. for days. The National Weather Service is warning that the heat index — a measure combining temperature and humidity — could make it feel the equivalent of 105 degrees or more in some places by Thursday.
So until you’re SEEN trying to beat the heat and before A Reader Asks what they should do, here’s some helpful tips that will make this forthcoming weather much more tolerable for all of us:
- Find someone with a pool.
- Drink plenty of water.
- Do not over-exert yourself physically in triple digit weather.
- Get one of those fancy fans that Southern belles have, but don’t wear those big thick flowing dresses they wear.
- Do not tweet about the heat.
- Do not post Facebook statuses about the heat.
- Do not blog about the heat (fair warnings such as this one notwithstanding).
- Give some money to help NY Special Olympics, which relies on your generosity to provide assistance to 47,000 (and counting) student athletes and families free of charge. Because, see, you’ll feel good about helping those who need it, and that’ll distract you from how hot it is.
As always: you’re welcome, America.
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19 Responses to I walk around in the Summer screaming “how about this heat?”
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STALK ME
But what if I’m super hot and have no one to tell? Then can I tweet it? Or how about if I’m hot and think maybe no one else is hot and want to double check. Then?
Leigh - Why don’t you go get someone killed with your eggs over easy
I tweet and/or use a Facebook status about the heat/cold/snow/rain/any other extreme weather conditions because I enjoy the weather.
And now it appears because it aggravates Kevin Marshall!
Ooooo and because I enjoy when I throw up a status about how awesome it is that it’s so hot, just so I can hear people b*tch and complain about it. People are just so miserable to begin with, I like to give them that extre nudge. See if I can’t get them over the ledge.
Gee Kevin – nice caption on that picture; now if I submit a picture of Buckwheat captioned as President Obama is that funny too? Or is it only ok to make fun of people on the right whom you don’t agree with?
Stephen – Yep! One, because it’s my blog and not yours. Sorry if my viewpoint doesn’t collude with yours, but hey, them’s the breaks. More importantly, though, it’s actually not the same thing at all. Your stupifyingly racist example (nice sneak in there too by the way) is not anything like calling out a man like Marcus Bachmann, who dehumanizes and demeans an entire community in this country and actively works and campaigns to deny them of their rights to live and function as who they are and tells teenagers – KIDS – that what they are is wrong and not just a “lifestyle choice” but an actual sickness that can be cured. Even if it is saying “boy he acts like a closeted homosexual.” Because c’mon, have you seen the guy? And also, those who rally most vehemently against it usually are (see: a lot of politicians over the years).
“It’s Africa hot..Tarzan couldn’t take it this hot..”
How. dare. you. sir. A bad egg killed my brother. Then it just ran off… :(
So you don’t see the problem with you dehumanizing and demeaning an entire community in this country (Those on the right) or actively working and campaigning to deny them of their rights to live and function as who they are (which you do because you have a blog) Now that’s some funny stuff right there.
Oh and my example is stupifyingly racist while you calling someone out as a FLAMER is?
Wow, you’re right. I’ll shut down my medical clinic where I claim to convert conservatives into liberals and call them diseased immediately. Also, would you sign my petition to prevent people on the Right from getting married?
Also, it’s not the whole of the Right, it’s Bachmann specifically. Unless you’re categorizing the entire Right as anti-homosexual. I know quite a few who would disagree with that.
Speaking of flaming, not going to engage in your little flame war any longer. Until you can actually make a point rather than make grand claims of false equivalence, best for you to comment elsewhere.
What if you are using the heat to do productive things like fry eggs or boil water? Can you Tweet/G+/FB update about it then?
Britt – Only if it’s accompanied by video and/or pics.
I wouldn’t tweet about the heat (“Gee, it’s hot.)
I MIGHT tweet about an air advisory (“The Weather Service says if you’re outside more than 10 minutes. you’ll die.”
Roger Green – that Tweet should come tomorrow during the 97-98 with heat indices between 105-115!
I’ll be at work riling up all the old women I work with by telling them how much I enjoy the heat.
Will King – In your face, grandma!
Its not the heat. Its the humility.
Thanks, Kevin, now I’ll have “A**hole” stuck in my head the rest of the day. Though it’s better than having Ace of Base stuck in my head.
Tim in Waterford – I should complete the trifecta and invoke a Bee Gees earworm.
I had to run a quarter mile to catch the bus today, missed it, violently threw up from exertion as it drove away, collapsed on the sidewalk, burned the side of my face on the scalding concrete. I looked up at the person next to me who stood politely kicking dirt into my vomit pile and said, “How about this heat?”
Then I puked again.
kevin, next time you write about the heat, could you possibly post a picture of ted kennedy burning in hell? thanks.