This coming Friday marks the release “Star Wars: The Complete Saga” on Blu-Ray. Collecting all six films digitally retouched, the release features more tweaks and changes that have come to redefine the franchise and Lucas himself in the 21st Century.

Most of you reading this have probably seen, or at least heard, about the most infamous change:

Remember how much you hated the Ewoks and wished they were all Wookies instead? Well, now they blink, so IN YOUR FACE CRANKYPANTS!

And no, it’s not a hoax. Trust me, I wish it was, and I’m not even what you would consider a devoted “Star Wars” geek.

Still, that’s nothing compared to some of the other changes that are in the Blu-Ray collection. Some are so minor you probably won’t even notice, but there’s others that are too jarring to miss.

CHANGES ON THE “STAR WARS” BLU-RAY DVDs

  • In “Episode IV: A New Hope,” a large rock is now  partially obscuring R2D2 when he’s hiding from the Jawas.
  • In “Episode I: The Phantom Menace,” Yoda is not a puppet but a CGI construct like he was in the other two prequels.
  • The fake “dragon” call Obi-Wan Kenobi makes to scare away the Tusken Raiders has been completely changed.
  • The Ewoks’ eyes are now CGI and blink to make them look more lifelike.
  • In Episode II: Attack of the Clones, a lone violin is heard every time Anakin speaks.
  • In “Return of the Jedi,” Admiral Ackbar’s long ridiculed line “it’s a trap!” has been replaced with “OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH SNAP!”
  • Rather than walking around naked, Chewbacca now wears denim shorts. He still doesn’t get a medal at the end of the original movie, however.
  • Jar Jar Binks’s controversial pigeon English voice and dialogue has been re-dubbed. Jar Jar is now voiced by comedian Robin Williams, using his trademark offensive 1970s black man voice.
  • Several lines of Han Solo’s dialogue has been modified and others added. When Princess Leia tells Han that she loves him in “Empire Strikes Back,” his original response of “I know” has been changed to “No Duh!” When Luke shoots a Tie fighter from the gunpod of the Millennium Falcon, Han’s original response of “Great, kid, don’t get cocky” has been replaced with “whoop dee pickle.” And at various points during the fight on Endor, he can be heard off-camera yelling “I hate Ewoks!”
  • Chewbacca’s growls are now sub-titled, revealing that most of the time he’s just quoting Lord Byron.
  • A laugh track has been inserted every time Leia and Han start bickering, and the sound of an audience going “wooooooo” and hollering has been inserted when they kiss.
  • Due to some clever editing, Lando no longer betrays Han. Rather, he instead goes to the bathroom and when he comes out, Han and everyone else are gone. Lando then looks around and goes “awww, man” and takes off after them.
  • The Emperor now wears a large crown made of the bones of the Jedi children killed by Anakin at the end of Episode III.
  • In all editions, C-3PO is now CGI, bright purple, and has a light saber battle in Episode III with an evil Jar-Jar Binks.
  • Instead of being saved by Luke in the original film, Princess Leia is now swung to safety by Indiana Jones, who has been displaced by a temporal rift that immediately shuts once they’ve landed, returning him to his proper time and place.
  • In the Cantina scene, Hammerhead has been replaced with Plier Pete, an alien who has a head that looks like a pair of pliers.
  • In that same scene, the Cantina band is now playing “Deacon Blues” by Steely Dan.
  • One final Catina scene change: Greedo shoots himself.
  • To explain Han Solo’s unnecessary hostility towards Chewbacca, Han is now drunk for the entire first film and the first two-thirds of “The Empire Strikes Back.”
  • Princess Leia’s hair buns are now croissants.

Let me know if you hear of any others.

17 Responses to List of changes in “Star Wars: The Ultimate Collection” Blu-Ray

  1. GenWar says:

    Dear Kevin Marshall Readers:

    While this list appears to be comprehensive and accurate, it is only fair to point out that Mr. Marshall likely suffers from significant bias, given our rejection of his proposed additions to the films, not the least of which was that we digitize him and add him in place of Billy Dee Williams in the role of Lando Calrissian.

    Of course, we *LOVED* the idea but, as we explained on numerous occasions, contractual obligations to Mr. Williams prevented implementation of Mr. Marshall’s plan.

    Sincerely,

    Lucasfilm, Inc.

  2. Scott C. says:

    “I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of fans cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.”

  3. Greg Matusic says:

    How in the world could you not notice R2-D2 being replaced by a mechanical owl?

  4. Anyway says:

    Alderaan shoots first

  5. gray cat says:

    The bar scene is changed to take place in Hooters.
    Darth Vader’s voice is replaced by Gilber Godfried.
    The toyed with the idea if changing Chewy’s voice to that of ALF, but cooer heads prevailed…

  6. Ann says:

    Scott, you sum up my feelings almost perfectly.

  7. Steve says:

    After Queen Amidala expresses shock that Anakin murdered scores of children, she then asks him “Wait, do you mean Sand People children, or regular white children like us?” When Anakin confirms the latter, she expresses shock once again.

  8. Jets fan says:

    You forgot that during the dining scene of “Empire” there are 40oz of Colt 45 on the table

  9. Tim says:

    Jawas have been replaced by Nelwyns from the movie Willow. Han Solo regularly calls them “Pecks”.

  10. Patrick says:

    Any truth to the rumor that in Episodes I thru III the discs are just an epic 6 hour apology from Lucas?

  11. Ann says:

    C3PO officially comes out of the closet and expresses his amorous desire for R2D2 in the Empire Strikes back.

    The part in which Princess Leia gives Luke an incestuous good luck kiss is replaced with a good luck spank which leads to everyone else giving Luke a spank everytime they see him.

    In episode I, Jar Jar Binks is killed by Queen Amidala when no one moves the big walking idiot out of her way.

  12. Tony Barbaro says:

    Jim Brown replaces Han Solo in the Empire Strikes BLACK….soundtrack by Isaac Hayes..also starring Pam Greir as Princess Lay-ya…

  13. John says:

    The saga now focuses on The Lazy Jedi, from my fan film:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqV5tvdmRds

  14. Aaron says:

    Great list Kevin!

    George Lucas is a douchebag and he isn’t getting any more of my money.

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