Tonight, the comedy radio program Alternative 2 Sleep on WCDB has a very special guest.

ME!

Tune in tonight as I join host Ethan Ullman to discuss a multitude of topics including but not limited to comedy in the Capital Region, childhood memories, the August 23rd Earthquake (hit the streets and never forget), and a pending career move for yours truly. What is it? You’ll have to tune in to find out!

Listen LIVE tonight and every Thursday, 10pm to midnight.
terrestrial airwaves: 90.9FM in Albany, NY

Or listen online:

 

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No idea where this originated, but it’s been floating around my Facebook feed over the last twelve hours. Note – according to reader Henri, it looks like it originated from Fark.com.

Other notes:

  • I didn’t feel a thing because of something about the building I work in and SCIENCE.
  • Toby Keith has already written a song where he beats up Earthquakes.
  • Some buildings were evacuated, but many office workers claimed to have felt their building Sway (from MTV News?) and left out of concern for their own safety. Thankfully, most were state workers, so productivity didn’t take a hit.
  • Some legislators and their staffers left work due to concerns about surrounding gas mains and hit the bars. Some say because they’re a fun loving bunch, but I like to think the Earthquake shook them in the moral sense, reminding them of the ethical compromises they made to become Kings of S*** Mountain.
  • My mother felt it down in Virginia. She’s fine.
  • Please use this time to donate to the Special Olympics of NY. Donate to Megan and she’ll make you cookies, cupcakes, and/or an assortment of other goodies. Donate to Phil and he’ll do tons of stuff…including WRITING A SONG ABOUT YOU for a mere $25 donation.

This week will be focused on helping our team meet its goal of raising $5,000 for the Special Olympics of NY as part of their “Over the Edge” fundraising event.

Today and tomorrow I’ll be highlighting my two teammates in this effort and what they’re offering in exchange for your donation. Yesterday was Meghan Mae, who is offering a variety of baked goods in exchange for your generosity. Today is local musician and ne’er-do-well Phil Nagle.

Also, you can get a song written about you for donating. More info below.

 

Phil (right) with Danny DeVito (left)

NAME: Philip Thomas Nagle
HOMETOWN: Scotia, NY
CURRENTLY RESIDING: Scotia, NY
WHAT DO YOU DO? Attempting to become incredibly famous
FEAR OF HEIGHTS ON A SCALE OF 1 to 10: 8.5
WHY ARE YOU RAPPELING? : This is such an amazing cause, and its an incredibly opportunity for a amateur thrill seeker like me!
ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY: I am moving to LA 2 weeks after this thing! Help me leave with a bang!!

Phil, a musician, is making a variety of fun offers in exchange for your donation. Again, from the man himself:

  • $10 or less: I will mail you a package including a letter and numerous extras, such as stickers, pins, drawings, fun things! The more you donate, the more you get!
  • More than $10: I will write you a poem about how beautiful you are, and hand draw a full color representation.
  • $25 or more: I will WRITE A SONG ABOUT ANY TOPIC YOU CHOOSE IN ANY GENRE YOU CHOOSE. Add $20 to one of the above two and I’ll make a theatrical video version.
  • $50 or more: I’ll make an EP (5 songs) dedicated to any genre/topic you choose, with a hand made cover. -OR – I will make you a piece of art of any topic you choose. It will be brilliant and one day worth millions as I plan on becoming incredibly famous. :)
  • $75 or more: I’ll make you a DVD of all the short films I have ever made, and will write you a song for the DVD menu screen. Please note, this is embarrassing for me!
  • $100 or more: NAME YOUR OWN! If it is within reason, i’ll do it. Also, drum lessons, guitar lessons are available upon request.
  • For a decent sum of money I will recreate 5 minutes of ANY film you choose.

To donate to Phil, CLICK HERE.

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Over the Edge is an event where individuals raise money to rappel down the 18-story Crowne Plaza Hotel in downtown Albany. For more information, visit Team Kevin Marshall’s America’s homepage on KevinMarshallOnline.com.

Hello, Kevin Marshall’s Americans! What’re you doing after work?

Why don’t you shut your mouth and let me tell you what you’re doing.

You’re going to leave work, maybe get dinner. Hopefully you’ll get it with the special someone in your life, but if you’re like me you’ll eat a can of hot chili alone. Well dump that bowl in the sink and wipe those tears away, because you need to be ready to go at 8:00pm LIVE at Valentine’s.

Only five bucks? Sweet sassy molassy, that’s some cheap entertainment.

Both acts have a lot of buzz around them, and it’s being put on by my favorite over-the-air radio program and my favorite local station.

Come listen to beautiful music with us and bid the summer a fond farewell.

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This week will be focused on helping our team meet its goal of raising $5,000 for the Special Olympics of NY as part of their “Over the Edge” fundraising event.

Today and tomorrow I’ll be highlighting my two teammates in this effort and what they’re offering in exchange for your donation. First up is Meghan Mae. From the woman herself:

NAME: Meghan (Mae) Nolan
HOMETOWN: Pine Island, NY (Guinness World Record for producing most onions per capita)
CURRENTLY RESIDING: Queensbury, NY (named after Queen Charlotte, wife of George III, the sad monarch who lost the colonies to the rebels – re: us)
FEAR OF HEIGHTS ON A SCALE OF 1 to 10: Zero? Less than?
WHY ARE YOU RAPPELLING?: To raise money for the Special Olympics & all of it’s KICKASS participants!
ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO SAY: I <3  kittens & puppies.

Meghan, an avid baker, is offering her truly awesome concoctions in exchange for your donations. Here’s what you can get:

  • Donate $50 to Special Olympics and get a dozen cupcakes. You can never go wrong with cupcakes.

    $50 will bake & send you 2 dozen cookies of your choice OR one dozen of cupcakes

  • $100 will bake & send you a cheesecake or pie of your choice
  • $250 will make & send you you one baked good or 2 dozen cookies of your choice every week for a month!

And, as a reminder, every little bit helps, even if it’s just $5. And all donations make the giver eligible to win a $25 gift card from Target.

To donate to Meghan, CLICK HERE.

It should be mentioned, too, that Meghan is donating her time and efforts to this fundraiser even while getting ready for her wedding. So an extra special thanks for her time!

——-

Over the Edge is an event where individuals raise money to rappel down the 18-story Crowne Plaza Hotel in downtown Albany. For more information, visit Team Kevin Marshall’s America’s homepage on KevinMarshallOnline.com.

 

The Chinese junior men's national team, pictured here, struck a blow for freedom when it issued an open protest against its abusive coach, Fin Ban (right).

From the New York Times comes a story about the changing face of athletics in China, namely that young athletes are revolting against the totalitarian government and its stringent and abusive practices. Recently the national junior men’s basketball team issued a public protest in unison against the physical and emotional abuse from longtime coach Fan Bin, which resulted in his suspension after increased pressure from the public. Athletes who once were more than happy to subject themselves to anything in the name of the glory of the People’s Republic of China are now daring to ask if Chinese glory is worth the cost of personal well-being and routine violations of their civil rights.

The highest profile case, and the one thought to be the initial crack in the dam of open revolt in China’s state-sponsored athletic hegemony, was when 2011 women’s French Open champion Li Na abandoned the system in a brazen and rebellious manner and openly criticized it to the international press. The Party, certainly not happy at a successful athlete thumbing her nose at authority, issued a directive to the press  just days after her win to cease coverage of her win.

The Chinese system has come under increased scrutiny due to the presence of social media in the country, which has made it much harder for the Party to control their message and censor material and opinions that are openly critical of the Chinese government in all its forms. This has only been exacerbated over the course of the last few months by a sweeping tide of international reform that some will say started with the Arab Spring but I honestly believe has been brewing for some time internationally and had its start in no single geographic location, but rather in an internet culture that breeds and aggressively insists on openness, transparency, and free speech.

But change is slow going, evidenced by the continued abuses and cases like that of champion gymnast Zhang Shangwu,  spit out by the system and recently found homeless and pan-handling in Beijing.

It’s not just the oppressive and abusive nature of the system that’s shocking, but also the Party’s open defense of it. From the article:

Corporal punishment has long been used by coaches and teachers in China to instill a strict code of discipline. But this rite of passage is increasingly controversial, much to the dismay of sports officials.

“Coaches treat their players like their children, and it’s completely normal for parents to hit their kids,” Bai Xilin, the C.B.A.’s chairman of game operations, said in an interview.

Bai acknowledged that the old guard has trouble relating to younger players who have grown up in a more open and prosperous era. But he dismissed the players’ complaints as evidence of a generation gone spoiled. “Kids these days are unable to eat bitterness,” he said. “They want the results but they aren’t willing to endure the hard times.”

Rather than condemn the coach’s behavior, Bai criticized the players, who he believes betrayed the sports system by going to the news media with their protest rather than trusting the issue would be solved internally.

The youth of China faces an uphill battle. They’re going up against a system built not with brick and mortar but with the blood, bones, and flesh of its own people, thrust into involuntary servitude and brainwashed into thinking they were heroes for their unwitting sacrifice. This is a country where the vast majority of people under the age of thirty have no idea that anything happened in Tianamen Square in 1989.

But something IS happening. It’s an uphill battle, yes, but the important thing is that after so many decades they’re actually seeing the hill for the first time and asking who put it there and why.

The next five years is going to be fascinating, if not turbulent. Not just for Chinese sports, but for China as a whole and the rest of the world.

I’m largely indifferent towards CNN personality Piers Morgan and his “news” program. But he had a great moment this week in an interview with Christine O’Donnell.

In case you need a refresher: O’Donnell was the candidate for Congress that, after an embarrassing clip aired from an old episode of “Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher” where she told a story about going on a date with a witch and dabbling in “witchcraft,” released the classic “I’m not a witch” political ad that revealed her as a complete moron: she didn’t even get that people weren’t criticizing her for once being a witch, they were laughing at her for being such an obvious liar making up a ridiculous story to gain points with a live crowd.

Well, she’s got a book out now where she talks about her life as a…uh, failure? I’m not quite sure. She says it’s quite inspirational. Morgan, naturally, turned to one of the topics she covered in her book: gay marriage. He asks her for her opinion on the matter and…well, watch for yourself.

The two highlights for me:

Morgan: “Do you answer that question in the book?
O’Donnell: “I talk about my religious beliefs, yeah, of course. I absolutely do.”
Morgan: “Do you talk about gay marriage in the book?”
O’Donnell: “…what relevance is that right now?”

Morgan: (incredulously) “Why are you being so weird about this?”

Oooo! I can answer that last one! Piers, me! Me! PIERS! Over here!

Christine O’Donnell is being weird about this because she is weird. She’s a bit vapid and prone to tall tales about her activities and non-accomplishments, one of which includes her story about how she was supposed to be one of the original hosts of “The View.” Not true. But that’s the sort of weirdness we can laugh off. Not so laughable is her stance on gay marriage and homosexuality in general, which is in line with one of the last culturally acceptable forms of bigotry in our nation. Her vehemently anti-gay stance, rooted in writings thousands of years old that are not very far removed at all from text once used to defend slavery and other abhorrent practices, would be laughable if there weren’t so many people nodding their heads in approval when she spews it.

Still, we can be dismissive in this case, because her relevance to the political mainstream right now is nigh non-existent. There are worse, though, that are still out there: people that hold beliefs even more strongly rooted in paranoia, hatred, and ignorance that are not only relevant but considered front-runners for the GOP nomination.

The O’Donnell Walk-Out makes me laugh, think, and in a small way, hope. It’s my hope that O’Donnell ran away from her beliefs because she is ashamed of them. And rightfully so. Which means that this outrageously outmoded approach to homosexuals and active pursuit to derive them of basic human rights – including the right to exist as who they are – is something that will very soon be chased off into the shadows.

Not yet, though. Not while Michelle Bachmann is running for President while her husband actively seeks to deprive homosexuals of their right to exist by using medicinal malpractice to “reform” those which do not fall in line with his insecure view of the world.

Local artist and illustrator Owen Sherwood is competing in “Threadless Loves Your City,” with the top 10 hometown designs getting their own Threadless t-shirts. One lucky designer will even receive prizes that include $2,000 in cash.

Sherwood’s submission:

 

Click here to vote NOW and support a local artist. More importantly, though, because I want this goddamn shirt.

You may not like The Situation, but at least he never tried to sell a push-up bikini top to an eight-year-old girl.

Abercrombie & Fitch put everyone into a snarky tizzy today when they publicly offered to pay Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, one of the stars of MTV’s “The Jersey Shore,” to stop wearing its clothes. In a sarcastic release, the company stated that cast members of MTV’s reality show appearing in its clothing caused “significant damage” to the brand and “distresses” its customers.

This is the same company that in the past used underage models in provocative poses that would make Dr. Ruth blush, had to apologize in 1998 for a “creative drinking” diagram in its clothing catalog that encouraged college students to binge drink, and came under scrutiny here and elsewhere in media some months ago when it started selling push-up tops to increase the bust size of eight-year-old little girls. And somehow it’s “The Situation”  that makes them look bad?

To the folks in the PR and Marketing department(s) at Abercrombie & Fitch: I’d revoke your s***-talking card, but you never qualified for one in the first place. A clothing line that has continually shown crass taste and marketed itself to the lowest common denominator doesn’t really have much of a pedestal from which they can preach. The worst part, though,is that you’re encouraging one of the worst aspects of negative behavior in American youth. You’re a large corporation picking on individuals and trying to embarrass and shame them in front of the entire world in order to make yourselves look better.  They may be easy targets, but no matter how big their paychecks are or what you may think of their lifestyle choices, that’s straight up bullying.

With the company’s prevalence in youth culture, the encouragement of this behavior could rightfully be called shameful. We know better, though, than to imply that there could ever be anything resembling shame coming out of your offices.

Abercrombie & Fitch and the readers of this blog may not like the guy who calls himself The Situation, but that doesn’t make him a terrible person that deserves to be shoved into a pillory and pelted with rocks. My frustration, though, doesn’t stem from sympathy for Sorrentino so much as from annoyance that so many people spit out a mighty “hyuk hyuk” and expressed support for a company that regularly exhibits highly questionable judgment themselves.

So how about I flip this on you: I’ll give you money vis a vis buying an Abercrombie & Fitch shirt – Hell, I’ll even post a picture of it on my blog – if you apologize to Mike Sorrentino for this stupid little stunt of yours. That’s right, even though I’m pushing 30 and have an active dislike of your brand, I’m willing to put myself through the embarrassment of pushing your line. And I’ll sweeten the deal with a pair of pants to go with it if you pledge $500 to the Special Olympics of New York State, which helps over 47,000 differently abled children across the State and their families to overcome the stigma and struggles that often come with their inherent disadvantages and makes them feel, and be, champions. AND I’ll also wear the outfit while rappeling down the Crown Plaza.

So how about it, Mike (Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch)? We got ourselves a Situation or what?

 

You’re on a date. It comes to a close. Before she gets out of your car, she smiles and gives you a peck on the cheek. You become flushed, your pupils widen, and you open your mouth.

Out comes…woo?

That’s what happened to one of Bitter Amanda’s readers, anyway. A kiss on the cheek elicited a “woo” from a boy, and the reader is baffled. As is B-Ams. As am I.

Read more here.

Thoughts? Theories?