Kevin Marshall's America
Like so many things in life, the Race Track is a much more beautiful as an idea and an image than it is in reality. (AP Photo/Mike Groll)
Every day for forty days this Summer, 350 acres in Saratoga come alive as handlers and trainers prep their horses in the early morning fog.
Around the Capital Region, Socialites and wannabes wake up early, still hung over from the previous evening’s cocktail. They dress in their Sunday best even though it’s a Tuesday. They stare in the mirror, adjusting headwear usually reserved for a Southern churches and asking their entirely disinterested husbands in pink polo shirts what they think.
Meanwhile, the lower castes bang against the gate, coolers and blankets in hand, desperate to make a grab for the few picnic tables available. It becomes a mad dash and it could get ugly, if it weren’t for the fact that everyone’s conscious of where they are. This isn’t some NASCAR event, damnit, this is Saratoga. There will be no fights and no Genny Cream Ale being drunk here.
Cash drawers are counted and the Saratoga Race Track, as it has for almost 150 years, is abuzz with early morning activity and the promise of class, extravagant paydays, and equine competition of the highest caliber.
Thirty miles South in Troy, Kevin Marshall is getting a phone call from a friend.
“Hey,” says the excited friend. “Want to head to the track today?”
My reply: “Nope!”
I have no objection to the Saratoga racetrack (for moral objections to horse racing and other similar fare check out the TU’s Animal Rights blog). In fact, I used to go a handful of times every Summer with my father. He was a bit of an enthusiast, and he actually showed me how to handicap races. It became a common ground for us and a great father-son bonding activity. It never brought us any fortune, but it allowed us to cut even or slightly better on some days.
As I got older I lost interest in the whole thing, and that bond over horse racing slowly dwindled. Then I started getting really, really bored at the Track.
Unlike going to a game where there’s constant action or at the very least some reason to keep paying attention, Saratoga is a waiting game. Nine races over the course of an entire day makes for a very, very bored Kevin Marshall. Sure, I could help pass with the company of others, but I can do that with any number of things I’d rather be doing.
As for the racing itself? Occasionally you’ll see an exciting race, but for the most part it’s watching a bunch of horses run in a circle, then repeat. Handicapping can increase the enjoyment, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret: it’s bulls***. A handful of horses rise to the top of the game, but the truth is that there are so many variables and possibilities that horse racing is, by its nature, a game of chance for the spectator. Your luck and your money is better spent at a blackjack table. Besides, if handicapping worked, then newspapers wouldn’t even have their own handicappers. The position wouldn’t exist, because experts would be making too much money to be bothered with the pittance offered by print.
So no thanks, Saratoga. I appreciate your appeal and your history, but you aren’t for me. For my friends that are confused by my complete disinterest in going with them to the track, just go have fun without me and wear your most fabulous hat.
Besides, if I wanted to lose money and get lit up at a place that smells vaguely of horse s***, I’d just go back to college.
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41 Responses to I Couldn’t Give a Horse’s Patootie about Saratoga
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STALK ME
I haven’t gone since 2008 and I really have had no desire myself. Usually, I enjoy the people watching experience, and the quest for a decent stand to order some lunch, but the past two years, I’ve been like “ehh.” I’ve had 3 opportunities to go this summer and I’ve turned them all down. I think for me it’s become one of those Capital Area Institutions I’m just tired of.
I love Saratoga/track in the summer.
It’s all about the energy. Just like the energy level present at the road races I participate in, the baseball games I attend, the outdoor concerts, art shows, food festivals and the like. I enjoy a venue that pulls all social classes together, where everyone is welcome and can enjoy the event in harmony. That’s why I love Saratoga.
You are not my brother.
I make it to the track once a season, and every time I go, I am reminded of why I only go once. I appreciate the tourism the track brings to the region, but count me out.
I enjoy toga for two reasons: 1) The booze flows copiously, and 2) I always leave with more money than I came with, betting on dumb luck alone.
But it’s a favorite family pastime, and it feels snobbier than Nascar.
Mistake here Kevin, they wouldn’t get dressed in in their Sunday best on Tuesday. The track is closed on Tuesdays…lol. I have to admit I love the place and go every summer at least once or twice. I just love seeing the horses, and the people, and grounds, and everything about the place. I wouldn’t go everyday, but its great to visit once a year or so!
I went up to the track twice this summer. Both times I was there, I had more fun photographing the race and the track and the course and the culture, than I did in making any pari-mutuel success.
You musta gone to a much better college than I did. There was no “vague” about the smell of horse **** at my almost mater.
I think any of the societally popular wagering venues have that image/reality disconnect. The casinos in SE CT are filled with chain-smoking tubercular-looking old folks and the bright lights of the commercials are ever so much dimmer in 3D.
I just go for the pure joy of watching beautiful animals excel. I rarely even bother to bet; my only goal is to get as close to trackside as I can to get a good view of the horses as the thunder past. People watching/beer drinking/camping out for the day with a picnic or stand lunch are all pluses, but the betting is, at best, an amusing addition.
Kevin, I think you told me once that you were a teetotaler. In all seriousness, I can’t see any reason on earth why a teetotaler would want to go to the track.
I went just this past weekend and I had a great time. There are several things that make it for me. One, several friends who live far away make the trip to go and I get to see them. Two, I always overestimate the amount of alcohol I’ll need for the course of the day and then proceed to try and drink it anyway. Three, I usually smoke 3-4 cigars. It is, sadly, the only public place outside of the cigar shops themselves, where people do NOT shoot you dirty looks for smoking. For these reasons, I look forward to the track every year.
Now, I don’t gamble. Indeed, I don’t even follow the races. I’ve been every year for 5 years and this year was the first time I even went down to the fence where the horses were actually racing…and THAT was only because my 2 year old daughter wanted to “see the horseys”.
So, if you don’t drink and you don’t smoke (I’ve never seen or heard of you doing so) and you don’t have any rare friends in attendance, I can totally see your point.
-gen
Horse watching is much better at an event such as the Eastern States (one of the many major horse shows held at the Big E in West Springfield, MA).
yeah, I’m with you..the only time I ver went it was 100 degrees, I lost money, had to eat out side and the bathrooms were gross. that’s after parking 4 miles away. I’d rather hang out in the town or is it a villiage? of Saratoga and people watch.
i drank some genny cream ale at the track last year. nascar is keystone all the way these days i hear.
I was born in Saratoga and a healthy chunk of extended family still lives there and yet I’ve been to the track exactly twice…once for a concert in 1975 and last year to get Bobby Flay’s autograph for my partner’s co-worker’s birthday.
My father regales me with stories of watching the horses train while he was growing up but I guess I never caught the bug.
And I suppose I should clarify now that when I say “Saratoga” I mean the Race Track and not the entire city. Though it seems nobody’s tried to confuse the two (yet).
Agree with you 100%. Been there. Done that. Now move on.
Erin L – “toga” – WTF? I’m even embarrassed to type it.
I have been to the track once since I moved to New York almost five years ago. It was a different experience, but not one that makes me want to go back. But, in full disclosure, I don’t like sports of any kind, so that might play a bit of a role in my disdain for the track.
I think your feelings are spreading throughout the country. The day of the professional handicapper have come and gone. Race tracks across the country are losing the young people to other venues like casino’s,sports betting, racino’s and lotteries.Much of these people can do on-line these days as well. After all just how much gambling money do people have. The nightlife in Saratoga has been fun, but you’re right it’s really over. I think the 10% drop in handle this year shows that the public has grown tired and I do believe many people have come to think horse racing is corrupt anyhow.
Hopeful – WTF? I was born and raised in TOGA, so yes, it is a fond nickname. Relax, will ya?
I used to take my boys up.. we’d have breakfast trackside (my favorite part of the whole racing experience), wander around and then down to Broadway, shop a while and head back up to the track for the races. The first year, when my younger son realized there was a 1/2 or so between races..was totally frustrated and wanted to leave.
If the horses were not so beautiful, it would be like watching NASCAR. Zoom zoom.
CoolMom – point taken! TOGA ON!!
There aren’t any races on Tuesday, that one day of the whole week, hence the name “Black Tuesday.”
I once was in awe of all that encompasses Sartagoa for those great 40 or so days. The track, the extraveganza, the chance encounters with the celebrities, the debauchery of caroline street and of course the late night doughboys. All of it was great, until I realized that really, it’s not what everyone makes it out to be. When I read a facebook status from someone saying “Toga for the Night!!!” I reach for the closest thing to vomit into. If you want to dress up, pretend you’re someone different than who you are and run into friends from around the area who are doing the same thing then Sartoga’s for you. Seriously, if you’re a 20-30 something who grew up in the area, try and not to run into someone, it’s impossible. Toga can certainly be fun, with the right group of people, a hefty amount of booze and some excitement in the air…. but then again so can anything else. I may sound bitter and all, but there’s nothing about Toga that resonates with me, will I go up there if there’s a family or friend outing? Absolutely, but I in no way understand why everyone feels that this place is the cat’s meow (love that line).
When you leave the area you realize the whoopla about Saratoga is overated they DON’T call it Smallotoga for nothing. The usual drunks from Saratoga ruin the experience. The horses are beautiful but been there done that ,,,,,,over it1 The parking and police just add to the negativity. For a city who relies on tourism not very welcoming ,,
I’m 100 percent with you. I have lived in the area for most of my 33 years and I have been to the track but once. The result? Bored to tears. I don’t like it, I don’t get it, and don’t want to go back. That said, the history, and just being able to have “a thing” in our area is terrific.
I LOVE Horses and would only go to see them, the gambling and losing money, not so much. the jockeys whipping them really bothers me. so im so with you on this one. btw, megan may disown us over this topic.
Davelyn – see comment #3. Megan’s already disowned me. You’re next.
So now people are writing about things they don’t want to do and places they don’t want to go?! Seriously…you must be hard up for topics. Perhaps you need a break from “blogging” to scrounge up some ideas. If I didn’t subscribe to the TU Facebook page and wonder WHO IS THIS KEVIN MARSHALL, I wouldn’t have even read it.
And now for those of you who want to know a little history-Saratoga Race Course is the oldest race track in the US. There is a lot of history within the town as a result of the track. First, it’s a beautiful town; the track, the parks, the spas, etc. The atmosphere is serene, yet it switches to become exciting during the summer months. Saratoga is even home to the Horseracing Hall of Fame, so every year, famous jockeys, trainers and owners descend on Saratoga to induct their latest heroes. Also, the Saratoga Racecourse was voted #10 on Sports Illustrated’s Top 20 venues of the 20th Century; It was the only Horseracing Track listed and among many famous sports venues (representing various sports) located all over the world such as Yankee Stadium, Wrigley Field, Lambeau Field, Augusta National, Roland Garros, Daytona, St. Andrews, etc. Horse Racing is known as the “Sport of Kings.” Some people choose to enjoy it as such; getting dressed up and having a day of racing, followed by a night on the town. Others prefer to picnic with their families in the back yard, and still others focus on simply betting. Regardless, many of us realize that we have a gem in our backyard, and with millions of people going through the turnstiles each year, I am not too concerned about your silly little blog of nothingness. However, I AM sorry I wasted my time reading about where you DON’T want to go.
Wow, really?! I didn’t know all that! That changes my perspective on EVERYTHING!
Sometimes, easy accessibility dulls the magic. This very human trait can demonstrate itself regarding a world-renowned gaming area, as well as in personal relationships.
Was thinking that if you wanted to make money and get lit up in a place that smells strongly of horse s***, you could run for Congress.
I’m glad someone finally said it.
MaryLou and the white-shoe fat@sses can all take a flying leap into Lake Pretentious and take a big swallow for all I care.
Ugh, the idea of sitting in the sun all day…burning my uber pasty pale skin does not seem appealing to me :-P
Kim – I wouldn’t say, “pasty pale”…you’re more of an “off-white” than anything.
From one who remembers when your father took you to the track and now 20 someyears later of working at the track I can say the best time to be there for me is from 6am til 1pm…..its quiet….peaceful…just watch the horses work out…have some breakfast….great way to start your day…….con’t what you’re doing Kev….its great…and dont worry davelyn will stay on your side….and Meghan will take you back
Thank you! Every August we’re bored to death with horse talk and Sartoga and what that old fart Mary Lou is doing now. (Uh, who cares? Maybe they cared in 1920 when the robber barons were thriving and the society pages actually meant something.) I really don’t care who else is going but, man, it seemed like it was played down this year. Whether it was the economy or something else, I was glad.
Saratoga is a nice town but rather snobby. Went there for a Paul Simon concert many moons ago with my ex and we had dinner in a restaurant first. The hostess actually chased us down the street to inform us that our tip wasn’t large enough. Excuse me? We laughed at her and walked away. While it looks like a charming little town, I think I’d hate living there for the airs it puts on and it’s got to be god-awful during those 40 days.
Like horse racing or not, you better go to the track and lose some money, or else we’re going to have to bail out NYRA with more tax money.
Ribbit – Where’s the Mafia when you need them? Those were the days…
Horse racing is an ugly, brutal business and the excitement at the track is overrated. There’s not much to do but drink, bet and wait for the horses to run. B-o-r-i-n-g.
I went to the track on a Tuesday once and some guy was outside taking bets so he handed me a racing form, I made my bets and still to this day wating for the results.
It’s like the gambler’s version of “Waiting for Godot.”
That’s also a good name for a horse…
Ribbit, while denying those same tax dollars to education and health. However, if I do that, what’s the difference? They’re going to have to continue to take it from me against my will. At least, I don’t have to sit through boring horse races tripling the pain.