We Will Make Him Faster, Stronger, and a Bit Chubby: Most Expensive Bollywood Film Ever is at Proctor’s This Week

This week, Proctor’s will be showing a film from India called “Enthiran” (translation: “Robot”), which is marketed as the most expensive film to ever come out of Bollywood.

NOBODY WILL BE MORE FANTASTIC OR CHUBBIER A ROBOT THAN I! Ranjikanth as the titular robot in "Enthiran," playing Tuesday & Wednesday at Proctor's in Schenectady.

And oh my Deity the Filmmakers Don’t Believe In, it looks fabulous.

My favorite aspect of this movie is that the guy playing the robot – Indian cultural icon Rajinkanth – is an old chubby dude. Indian scientists, see, they construct this slick and fabulous chrome robot that can do these amazing things. They’re worried, though, that people won’t be taken aback by this fantastic robot. So they make a chubby old man bodysuit for him to wear, so that people are disarmed and even more freaked out when he does these whacky flips and shoots things out of his arms.

The film also stars Aishwarya Rai, one of my future ex-wives that CBS News calls “the most beautiful woman in the world,” and features musical and dance numbers, ‘natch.

It loses points with me for having a sequence with a giant robotic snake. I forgive them, though, because it’s a robot and not a real snake.

Check out the trailer and see for yourself:

Oh Proctor’s, you wonderful bastards. You have my $6 (seriously – only six bucks!). The film plays Tuesday and Wednesday night.

In the Present Tense gathering Wednesday night? Let’s do this, kids!