People make quite a stink over the fact that folks choose to say “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” I’ve heard the conversation occurring amongst friends and co-workers numerous times this year, and some people get pretty heated about it.
The correct stance, however, is who gives a s***?
I’ve not known a person who has heard “Merry Christmas” said to them and taken it as an insult. Sure, maybe one or two people have flown off the handle about this or that. These are also the same people that get miffed because they don’t get a free meal that a restaurant’s policy explicitly states they won’t receive.
In fact, more often than not, you find people get more offended when they hear “happy holidays.” Some believe that it’s an exaggeration of religious sensitivities that is neutering their holiday and encroaching on their ability to enjoy it in full…because someone said “happy holidays” to them. Is the foundation of your holiday joy that weak where someone saying “happy holidays” ruins Christmas?
Listen, you spoiled cranks: get the dump out of your diaper, shut up, and celebrate Christmas. Go spend time with the people you love. Also, it’s Jesus’s birthday. Just imagine you had a birthday, and someone showed up to your birthday party and just kept complaining about stupid stuff like “happy holidays” and having to buy you gifts. Wouldn’t you be like “wow, what a jerk?”
Well, Jesus doesn’t, because he’s Jesus and that’s not how he rolls.
Anyway, I’m going to say Happy Holidays because I won’t see most people until after New Year’s, which is also a holiday. Not because I declare war on Christmas. So get over it and just celebrate, be safe, and share in the love regardless of what word people use to convey good tidings.
After all, everyone knows that the war I wage is against Boxing Day. Seriously, Canada, what the Hell is that? Unless I get to wear cool gloves and hit you, Boxing Day cannot and will not survive another year!
- Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye…
- Listen to me LIVE as guest co-host of Alternative to Sleeping tonight at 10pm!
- Realtors: “WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH” George Hearst III: “NONONOO SSSSHHH IT’S OKAY, it’s okay…here. Here’s a pacifier.” Kristi: “#oops.”
- Open Mic web series premiere tonight @ Lark Tavern
- Trust Me, You’re Going to Want to See This
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