Kevin Marshall's America
White people storm the gates at a local Price Chopper. (Photo: a SUNY Albany bro)
(Albany, NY) Hundreds of thousands of area residents, mostly panicked white people, stormed local Price Chopper stores in advance of a snow storm that was expected to drop upwards of six to eight inches of snow over the course of one to two days.
The storm, which meteorologists predict could provide as much as three to four hours of slow-ish commuting and minor inconveniences, caused panic amongst area residents. The expected shortage of bread only adds to the concern.
“It’s almost April,” said area resident Charles Banker. “And it is snowing an I am scared.”
Area politicians urged calm, with Governor Andrew Cuomo releasing a statement of solidarity from his emergency bunker underneath the Capitol.
“We have weathered many storms,” said Cuomo, “and we’ll weather this one. Though this storm is different, because it is literal, and by weather I mean actual real weather.”
Cuomo then announced that he was cutting more funds for education in advance of an expected shortfall due to the storm.
“We all have to make sacrifices,” Cuomo said. “I even had to let Sandra cook dinner.”
“These are the times that try men’s souls,” he added.
Happy April Fool’s Day!
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19 Responses to White people flock to Price Chopper to buy bread in advance of Nor’Easter
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STALK ME
Funny stuff, KM. I can’t dance and I don’t think mac n’ cheese is a Thanksgiving staple, either.
Glamour-starved local blogger.
Thanks for the laugh!!
More like a scene out of a Black Friday store opening. . .
White people……
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttk2yyBoJjk
I missed a golden opportunity by not including a quote from comic legend Sinbad.
“White people be all ___________ at Price Chopper,” said Sinbad.
Funny article, i started my day with a laugh!
The only April Fools I know of are our local meteorologists. ;)
Any reason you decided to add “White people” to your headline? I can see that the pic does have primarily white people in it but it seems a bit unneccessary to add that.
Because white people are the ones who do that primarily. Also, I HATE WHITE PEOPLE, especially white people who get offended when I mention white people.
I’m in the market for some bread if any white people are looking to unload some cheap…
Excelent Troll Kevin.
Why thank you.
I wasn’t going to respond to this blog, I was just going to enjoy it…but after #9’s comment, I have to add, “Don’t trust whitey”.(is that how you spell whitey?) Happy April 1st!
It’s people all lined up to watch Kev get his head shaved…
or $1 beer night at the “Joe”…
or Guptill’s Ice Cream opening night…
Funny Marshall….till we all get snowed and have to eat our pets.
And as the spokesman for Paranoid White people, I am offended. You are controlled by the Liberal Jewish Media Mafia, who is controlled by Al Sharpton….what should I expect, I guess….
Tony – If that were really the case, I’d actually get paid.
Yesterday there were panicked white people with bunched panties at Hannaford (Delmar) as well. Hilarious. “You’re out of road salt? – Will table salt work as well?” (14 item lane closest to the pharmacy, 7:30-ish) Not-making-this-up.
Kevin, you don’t get paid? Huber pays me by the word….huh.You need a better agent.