Kevin Marshall's America
We may scoff and laugh at the suggestion that the rapture will occur this Saturday, but there are signs of late that I simply cannot ignore. Are they onto something? Check out these seven signs of the forthcoming Rapture and decide for yourself.
Donald Trump is not running for President
Old news now, but Dumb Donald’s bowing out:
“After considerable deliberation and reflection, I have decided not to pursue the office of the Presidency,” Trump said in a statement. “This decision does not come easily or without regret; especially when my potential candidacy continues to be validated by ranking at the top of the Republican contenders in polls across the country. I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election. I have spent the past several months unofficially campaigning and recognize that running for public office cannot be done half heartedly. Ultimately, however, business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector.”
Granted, I called this before the birth certificate fiasco and subsequent public shaming, which wasn’t a hard prediction to make given his lack of overall sincerity. However, what if he was serious about running but the End Times scared him off? Hey, he believed in the Birther conspiracy, why not May 21st?
"Uh...should I reschedule your meeting with the Rotary, Mr. Mayor?"
Luther Campbell of 2 Live Crew is running for mayor of Miami-Dade County
While Donald bows out of the race for President, former 2 Live Crew frontman Luther Campbell – he who is so horny – has announced he’s running for Mayor of Miami-Dade County. The former foul-mouthed MC, producer, and inadvertent champion of the 1st Amendment insists it’s not a joke and that he’s very serious about the whole thing.
Interestingly enough, the words “2 Live Crew” are nowhere to be found on his official campaign site.
Dogs have learned how to use the subway
Stray dogs in Moscow have evolved and learned to do something that a handful of people I know still can’t grasp: using the subway. They get on and off at specific sites, just like real people! What’s next…poker?!
Oh God, no. No no no.
The Troy City Council may start meeting in a porn theater
According to Ken Crowe, the former home of “the finest in foreign & domestic films” (re: no tops and no bottoms) is being proposed as a site for City Council meetings. It is truly dismaying and scary to think that something so sacred would have its integrity compromised by the presence of the Troy City Council.
Michelle Obama can do The Dougie
A Jimmy Buffet Tribute band is playing Alive at 5
and not enough people are embarrassed by this.
SEVENTH SIGN: ?
That’s up to you, dear readers. Make your suggestions for what you think is the 7th sign of the apocalypse in the comments below.
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21 Responses to 7 Signs of the Apocalypse
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STALK ME
While the “chicken law” may have been vetoed by the Mayor, a new prosposal allowing for ostriches is being tossed about by the Albany Common Council and is said to have near unanimous support.
kirstie ally winning DWTS…
Driverless cars on the road?! I couldn’t imagine sitting at a stop light, looking over at the car next to me and seeing this.
http://blog.timesunion.com/gettingthere/should-driverless-cars-be-allowed-on-road/1663/
105.7 Crush FM
As Kristi Gustafson mentioned on 92.3 this morning – there is a website specifically to help married people have ‘discrete’ affairs…
Jersey Shore is a hit.
HomeTownGirl wins…and by that, I mean we *all* lose.
Brittany & HomeTownGirl – On Saturday we’re gonna have ourselves a Situation!
Amanda Talar admitting that the “Notebook” is a sappy girly movie and there is nothing wrong with men and women who don’t like it. ;)
Someone in government having a sense of humor?
http://gawker.com/5803076/the-centers-for-disease-control-is-officially-prepared-for-a-zombie-invasion
This is it
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/us_pnc_park_usher_dead
“It is truly dismaying and scary to think that something so sacred would have its integrity compromised by the presence of the Troy City Council.”
Thanks for the literal laugh out loud.
Seventh sign: Bidding for the Unabomber’s hoodie is now at $3,165. http://www.timesunion.com/local/article/Unabomber-artifacts-for-sale-1384768.php#photo-4
Hey Everybody!
Watch Kevin Marshall become enough of an angry bird to gobshite at this proposed 7th sign!
http://youtu.be/7UCm6uyzNE8
The Troy City Hall may actually be demolished in the foreseeable future.
This may be the last visuals I have before I ………
Anybody got news on an Ark??!!
Kevin Marshall is front row at the first Alive at 5 concert of the year, sporting his brand new “I♥VH” T-shirt and singing along with, “She’s everything you want, she’s everything you need…”
Ah, well played, Mr. Gregory! Now, onto the seventh sign of the apocalypse:
Popular local blogger confesses her secret crush on “Marshall.”
http://blog.timesunion.com/kristi/38869/hes-the-crush-we-all-have/
Teacher urinated in trash can during class, A substitute teacher at Riverdale Elementary School was arrested Wednesday for allegedly exposing himself and urinating into a trash can inside a classroom of fourth-graders. The Kids are driving teachers Mad 7th sign
When is this appacolypse? Is it at 6:00pm? And is that EST time? Because I have a BBQ tonight and if it is Pacific time I will have time to eat and everything.
Oprah’s retirement? I always told everyone she was the Anti-Christ, so she’s gettin’ ready yo!