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One of the ongoing debates in our culture relates to overprotective smothering of children by young, well-meaning, paranoid parents. In a piece in Sunday’s Boston Globe (“The armored child”), staff writer Leon Neyfakh notes the increasing sales of things like baby helmets and harnesses and asks two important questions: are these parents going too far, and is the culture of helicopter parents a new phenomena or the evolution of long-held desires to protect our children?
One of the unsettling aspects of the piece is that there’s another question that will remain unanswered until it’s too late: what, exactly, are the long-term effects of tying children to harnesses and fitting them with helmets anytime they’re out of the crib? Critics charge that it may prevent them from being able to deal with and process adversity, as well as making them averse to taking chances.
Personally speaking, my stomach turns a little bit when I see a child on a harness. There seems to be something demeaning in applying the same practices to a toddler that you would to a dog, particularly when the child does not have any disability that necessitates it and the parent is healthy enough to care for it. All of my family members and friends are able to bring their children out sans leash, so it begs the question: is this necessary? Why subject yourself to unnecessary scrutiny? Is the statistically small risk of your child being seriously hurt or worse while in your immediate vicinity outweigh the potential long-term psychological effects? And do we give these parents a pass because they’re well-meaning or call them out for pushing their neurotic and paranoid tendencies onto their child in a very public and embarrassing fashion?
As you can probably gather, any attempt for me to appear neutral in the debate is for naught.
Thing is, there’s nothing on the side of baby helmets and harnesses that is rooted in science or statistics. Rather, it’s driven purely by emotion. One would think that the 21st Century would bring more rational thinking and logic to the discussion, but when it comes to the safety of one’s own children, that goes out the window. It’s a quandary as old as…well, the Middle Ages. From the article:
True, families in medieval Europe did not have great car seats. But the idea that they didn’t care about protecting their children from perceived harm – the idea that humans didn’t treat children as special until the dawn of modernity – is contradicted by evidence suggesting that parents in the Middle Ages worried about their kids no less than we worry about ours today. Parents without vaccines or childproof locks relied instead on amulets and rituals to protect their kids.
Amulets and rituals which, no doubt, were sold or traded by folks all too eager to cash in on groundless fear and parental paranoia. In the Middle Ages, a magical trinket purchased from an old woman would protect your child from consumption. And it’ll probably have the same success rate as a child in 2011 adorned in a soft styrofoam helmet.
If you’re a young or expecting parent, do your kids a favor: take the helmet off your baby, unhook the harness, and let the kid play.
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22 Responses to Helmets and harnesses on kids don’t make them safer
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STALK ME
Bubble wrap. Safe AND fun.
Thank you for this Kevin Marshall! I completely cringe at the sight of a child on a leash. The thought of losing a child is the ultimate fear, but one does not have to resort to this in order to keep a child safe.
I always think of the South Park episode with the Dog Whisper and Cartman on the harness -so funny.
Children are not pets and should not be leashed or crated. harnesses are just an excuse to not teach your kid how to behave in public.
You need a doctor’s written order to use a straight jacket, then only for a specified period of time, for a mental patient who may harm themselves or others….you can use a harness on your kid all day..irony?
maybe we need harnesses and helmets for the parents..
Ann (#3) you are right on point with the South Park episode!
On the rare occassion that I see a kid in a harness or on a leash I always have the same reaction…”Really?!
See? Matt and Trey are geniuses!
I wonder what it does in terms of tolerance for pain and injury. I was a rough and tumble sort of kid, and I played a lot outside. To this day, I’m still just as clumsy, and I’ll walk into things, cut myself accidentally, and it elicits little to no reaction. On the other hand, some kids I grew up with that didn’t share my experiences, freak out at the slightest sight of any harm to themselves. How is an older child or adult going to take it if they seriously injure themselves doing something, being raised as a young child that had a foam helmet and a harness on all the time?
I hate seeing kids on harnesses unless they’re skiing downhill and under 5 years old. And I loathe and despise parents who do that to their children.
#3 I used a leash on my child 15 years ago and do not apologize for it. I find it annoying that there is always someone who boils it down to “teaching your child to behave in public.” Obviously you did not have a child that would at the drop of a hat, run, climb and just jump without fear. And, he did that as soon as he could stand. He skateboards, kayaks, snowboards, does some scary backyard gymnastics and loves highrope courses, like me. And I am encouraging him to try rock climbing with me. I have always taken solace in the fact that he ‘falls well’. He wants a motorcycle, but the joke in our house is he doesn’t get one until mommy gets one. I am of the mind, that children need to learn to navigate the world, and they do so best without hovering parents. But, not everyone out there used a leash to abdicate parental responsibliity. Good book to read, “The Culture of Fear.”
Don’t judge parent who use harnesses. Different kids have different needs. Just because your family doesn’t have a child with impulse issues doesn’t mean those issues don’t exist with other children. In a crowded environment, harnesses can be useful. Using wrist attachments or harnesses can be helpful for parents who have transient loss of consciousness due to medical conditions, also.
I never used a harness and I’m grateful I never had the need. But I’ve made other choices that receive h judgment from Internet strangers such as nursing past one year (gasp!), denying sweets that contain HFCS, and failing to provide a strict daily schedule.
Since you mentioned lack of statistics to support use of harnesses and helmets– Can you provide statistics to support your assumptions about long-term negative effects?
#10: I heartily support the three things you do that you listed. Nevertheless, I stand by my opinion that leashing a child like a dog when walking down the street is barbaric and for lazy and/or overanxious parents. I even let my dog run free when I walk her down the road. And hey, I was allowed to BE A KID on my own and I had plenty of falls and broken bones, the first when I was 4 years old, and miraculously have managed to live into my 60s. Forget statistics. These kids are being done psychological damage.
Ha I bet all the people talking about cringing with harnesses and helmets don’t actually have kids. Its easy to judge when it doesn’t apply to you. We have used a harness on our 18 month old in the past few months because it lets him run around a bit without getting too far away when we go to more crowded places (think a zoo). Try corralling a young child that can barely follow directions yet and can already shoot around pretty fast on his feet. I get the point the some people can go overboard..but how often when you see something is it out of a true over abundance in caution or perhaps a real medical issue or frankly just a convenience factor? I mean the harness for me was more about me letting the boy explore (sans stroller) and me not having to chase/monitor him continuously than it was a safety thing.
My mother had 3 children under the age of 7 in NYC and harnesses were used on all of us. She says “better the harness than a child under the subway”. My older brother was quick and could disappear in a split second. He was disciplined all right- we were small in the 1960’s so there was no sparing the rod in our household.
Rob is right..bubble wrap…..plus when you spank the kid it makes a popping sound…
I joke of course…. ;) I would NEVER strike my child….he’s 33 and 6’2″…..
Long term psychological damage? Children are quite adaptable, give them more credit than that. Oh, and equating a straitjacket to a childs harness? Hardly analogous. I would like know how many of you that find a harness and leash appalling, but don’t have a problem with a harness and belt strap in strollers and carriages? Both are a means of restraint. Other than one’s perception, what is the difference? And, come on, we all know how dangerous sitting can be.
With all due respect, Dallas, I am a parent so it does apply to me and I never find it easy to judge. I have successfully ‘tried to corral a young child who can barely follow directions and is quick’ on many occasions, and did so without ever having to place a child on a leash. How, you ask? Proper supervision, attention, and discipline. Your statement is almost like saying ‘you have to spank a child to get it to behave’. Poppycock! And poppycock on having to put a leash on a kid so it won’t run amok.
@HomeTownGirl Discipline for a 16 month old? How long ago did you have a kid? Maybe your memory is fuzzy or maybe your child wasn’t very mobile until he/she was older. Supervision and attention have nothing to do with a leash, you can pay all attention in the world to them but if they see something they want they run towards it. Maybe your child belongs in mensa or you should write a parenting book.
The only issue you guys have with a leash is that you associate it with a dog. Frankly the analogy fits. You leash a dog so you dont have to chase it because they dont have impulse control and usually arent great at following directions when distracted. Obviously at some point the idea of a leash becomes a little more absurd if your kid develops appropriately. To simply pawn off leashing as bad parenting (or parenting not as good as yours) is a little absurd.
I challenge the “No leashers” to safely take 2 4yr old ADD boys to the Great Escape or the Mall with no restraints @ all. You have to be alone with them, the only person responsible for their safety. Unless you have super powers, you are risking loss or injury. Those buggars can MOVE ! I agree that the buddy straps may look awful, but they sure serve their purpose. Untill you walk a mile…..
“you can pay all attention in the world to them but if they see something they want they run towards it”
If you can’t stop a 16 month old child from running toward something they want, then by all means use a leash.
@HomeTownGirl Its not a matter of not being able to stop a child from running towards something they want. Its a matter of choosing them a longer hand to hold. If he isn’t in the harness in a very crowded place (ex. zoo) then he has to either a)hold my hand-which he sometimes doesn’t want to do and frankly its not all that fun bending down for 2 hours. b) strap him into a stroller so he cant go any where or c)carry the 28 pounder around (gets old quick). I choose to give him a little more freedom in situations that I can so he can explore and feel independent while being safe. I guess I don’t see why this is such an abhorrent concept. Feel free to keep looking down your nose though.
Yikes…dangerous territory with the harnesses. Before I had a daredevil kid I was in the “shock/terror/degradation/no leash” camp.
Now, although I haven’t tried a harness, I can’t fault the parents that need them. My son isn’t old enough to really understand “stop” or any kind of dicipline he just knows that he can go and he wants to.
Sometimes with an older kid you can’t tell by looking if they have developmental delays, autism spectrum, impulse control issues. You can’t judge someone’s parenting simply because the kid looks old enough on the outside to know better.
Just reading through the comments, I do not see one from one of those who “were leashed” at 18mos to 3 years. That happened to me 70 years ago and I have carried the inner image of myself as a dog all this time. Dogs do not talk, do not “fall in love and marry but remain a best friend,” do not eat at the table, do get into dogfights, bark, yelp, whine, beg, live in the “doghouse/in trouble” and “work like a dog” throughout their lives and other outward behaviors that I have been acting out all my life such as breaking my ankles, toes and biting fingernails because dogs have paws and not feet and hands — just because I was a mensa child, healthy, curious, running around. My grandson is just like that and I follow him closely when he runs and celebrate his curiousity and learning moments. His parents would never have considered a harness, leash, etc. It requires close attention, yes, but I would never subject a child to the inner self-image that well-meaning parents imposed on me… and that only now am I becoming aware of and releasing so I can live a human being’s life.