In case you missed it, Rick Perry sank himself last night.

Note: what he named are Departments, not agencies, but that’s just semantics.

Well, it was inevitable. The problem with Perry from the start is that he ran on being the new George W. Bush. He had Bush’s “aw shucks” mentality, down-home ethics, and perception of a simpleton, but was lacking any of the charm or charisma that’s required to pull it off.

So what was that third thing Rick Perry wanted to eliminate? I’ve narrowed it down to 10 possibilities.

  1. The Department of Housing and Urban Development
  2. The Ministry of Silly Walks
  3. Penn State
  4. a stick of butter
  5. the Holy Spirit
  6. The Legislative Branch
  7. the Santa Maria
  8. Hank Williams, Jr.’s song for Monday Night Football
  9. that he’s ever gonna love you, even though he wants you and he needs you.
  10. N*****head
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5 Responses to What was that third thing Rick Perry was trying to remember?

  1. GenWar says:

    Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? Or is that covered under ‘Education.’

    On an unrelated note, why is Rick Petty getting rid of Education. I’m as Republican as they come and I’m not prepared to say our kids are as knowledgeable as they need to be.

    • Anonymous says:

      The Department of Education does not determine curricula. That’s left to the municipal level and, in some states, at the State level (like here and in California).

      Because of this, and the fact that from ’53 to ’80 it was part of Health and Human Services, the argument is that it’s an unnecessary bureaucracy that eats up resources and should be abolished. But I couldn’t disagree more. There’s no denying that we’re still falling behind other countries, and it’s particularly troubling that we have a higher rate of people pursuing higher education who can do nothing with their degrees. There needs to be a national department whose sole focus is education, and there needs to be something on the federal level to guide education in this country pursuant of a common goal.

      Also, Health and Human Services has enough on its place. What, dump it back on them? They serve entirely different functions. Eliminating it makes no sense other than to placate people for whom “big government” is invoked to create the heeby-jeebies and rally a base around a superficial philosophy.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Commerce only does a lot of important statistical stuff, like the Census. Obviously unnecessary, the librarian said.

  3. JES says:

    I am guessing his third choice was meant to be Department of Energy, my former employer. Most Presidential candidates decry it, until they get elected and discover that the nation’s nuclear inventory is part of DOE, and that is not an easy thing to move to another department.

  4. […] seen Rick Perry’s HILARIOUS Funny or Die video?! December 8, 2011By kevinmarshallI’ve written in the past that Rick Perry was George W. Bush but without the charm or charisma. I was, admittedly, being far […]

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