Kevin Marshall's America
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Entertainment headlines the last several weeks have been dominated by Donald Trump’s speculated Presidential bid. Trump has been everything from a bankrupt billionaire to a morally bankrupt reality television show host, and now he wants to be your next President of the United States.
Well…kind of.
Actually, Donald Trump doesn’t want to be President. Donald Trump isn’t the man who spoke before the CPAC Conference recently and was heckled by the Tea Party portion of the crowd. Donald Trump isn’t the guy who’s been making the rounds talking up his potential Presidential bid and suggesting he may run as an Independent instead of as a Republican. Donald Trump isn’t the one saying he doesn’t believe Obama was born in the United States (even though he totally was). Donald Trump didn’t recently call Bush the “worst President in history,” further polarizing himself amongst other GOP Presidential hopefuls.
That was television character The Donald.
We’re coming out of a decade where reality television dominated the landscape. Fortunately (for us), that era is coming to an end. The popularity of these shows is no longer guaranteed; slumping ratings for key shows and the embarrassingly low attendance at the recent Reality Rocks! Expo in Los Angeles are further proof that television is trending away from cheap voyeur programming. However, despite the sharp decline in popularity, it has left in its wake a permanent legacy: people knowingly portraying caricatures of themselves for the sake of entertainment or, more often, self-promotion.
The Donald from New York, like The Situation from the Jersey Shore, isn’t the same guy in front of a camera that he would be if you were to meet him in private. It’s a version of the real person with the volume turned up, along with a handful of personality traits created during the course of a television series. Although he made a name for himself initially in Real Estate, Trump has co-opted a method perfected by a new type of celebrity that is famous simply for being famous rather than any particular talent.
It’s not just his portrayal of The Donald persona in public appearances that has me skeptical of a Presidential run. It’s also the timing. Talk of his running started in early March, the same time NBC was premiering the latest season of “Celebrity Apprentice.” Now he’s stated he’ll make his official decision in June…after the conclusion of the current season and the announcement of next season’s contestants.
In the meantime, the speculation will continue and more questions will be asked by everyone from Wolf Blitzer in his ominous Situation Room (which sadly is not located anywhere near the Jersey Shore) to Mario Lopez on the set of “Access Hollywood.” Will he run as a Republican or an Independent? Will he “Ross Perot” the GOP ticket, a reference to the theory that Clinton’s 1992 victory was the direct result of a split created amongst Conservatives by Perot’s candidacy? If so, is he really a Democratic plant (I could have sworn during the 90s he even publicly identified himself as such)? Will he continue to surge in the polls?
No, because The Donald will tell us in June that he’s decided not to run. He will call politics a nasty business and infer that personal attacks against his character have come in conflict with his duties as a businessman. He’ll also note that he ultimately decided his life’s work as a businessman and media mogul was more important. Then he’ll wrap up by alluding to a conspiracy to force him out of the race.
The real reason, however, will be that The Donald can’t run because he – not Obama – isn’t a citizen of the United States. You have to be a real person to meet that criteria.
"Can you hear me now? Good. Here's hoping I don't end up a political prisoner for making this phone call."
In the last several years, Chinese cinema has seen a sharp uptick in a specific genre: pieces where modern Chinese travel back in time to imperial China. After their arrival, they transition from being an awkward fish out of water to coming to appreciate and often prefer the world their ancestors inhabited.
The Chinese government’s Bureau of Radio, Film and Television has taken issue with this genre and declared it persona non grata. Their statement, from ChinaHush:
“The time-travel drama is becoming a hot theme for TV and films. But its content and the exaggerated performance style are questionable. Many stories are totally made-up and are made to strain for an effect of novelty. The producers and writers are treating the serious history in a frivolous way, which should by no means be encouraged anymore.”
A disrespect for history is cited, but like these dramas, one must read between the lines to distinguish the true purpose. While intended to be goofy fun, these pieces may actually be construed culturally subversive in their suggestion that despite the technological shortcomings, inconveniences, and hardships experienced in the country’s past, its protagonists are better off than they would be living in modern China. Whether that sentiment is rooted in frustrations with modern technology or civil unrest is moot. As far as the government is concerned, artists are saying something is wrong and unlike ancient martial arts heroes traveling from treetop to treetop, this will not fly.
The reaction to this stateside has been interesting. Most have been sharing the link as a humorous statement on cultural differences. Indeed, it’s pretty wild that a government office would dismiss an entire genre, let alone do so under the precipice of it being too silly. But while we may be amused, there’s nothing funny about the Chinese government’s track record when it comes to the treatment of its artists, writers, and anyone else who deigns to express anything on a large scale that might indicate they are unhappy with the way things are.
Though, to be fair, part of me wishes our government could do the same with romantic comedies. Sorry, Jennifer Aniston, but romantic comedies are silly, not romantic, and definitely not funny. We cannot allow such lies to perpetuate and poison our society.
Image via Wikipedia
There was quite a bit of broo-ha-ha over the Tulip Fest announcements yesterday, none of which was due to headliner the Cold War Kids. Rather, it’s the announcement that open container laws will be enforced during the Festival and that drinking will be restricted to a tent near the main stage.
In previous years, attendees were allowed to bring coolers and walk the streets with open containers of alcohol. While coolers will still be allowed, they’ll be subject to search.
Perhaps not surprisingly, the reaction I’ve seen online has ranged from terse to angry. Some are upset and disappointed, while others have vowed to never again set foot in Albany during the festival. Many more decried the move as punishing everyone for the actions of a few, even going so far as to blame the new policy on last month’s Kegs and Eggs riots in the Pine Hills neighborhood. An article by Jordan Carleo-Evangelist of the Times Union even cites the proximity of the two, though it then quotes Jennings as saying the city had been looking at making the move towards enforcement and restriction for the last couple years.
It’s not just idle talk. I heard rumblings about the restrictions coming down ever since similar rules were instituted for the free “Alive at 5″ summer concert series. If the Kegs and Eggs Riots did anything at all, it was only to confirm to Albany officials that what had been previously discussed as a strong possibility was now a no-brainer. It’s only natural when a festival gets large enough – particularly one that’s free and open to the public – for these sort of restrictions to be implemented. Attendance and rowdiness has exploded in the last five to ten years, creating concern for the surrounding neighborhoods left with the mess and victimized by some of the more violent and disruptive behavior exhibited at the Festival, not allof which is reported. For every Albany cop hit by a beer bottle, there are many more that barring injury simply rush to get away from the scene.
Image via Wikipedia
I met a female friend of mine one year near Lark Street. When she approached me, she was visibly shaken and relayed a story of having been cornered by a group of inebriated men who refused to allow her to pass. After they insisted on trying to talk to and touch her, she had to physically shove one of them in order to get away. Physically, she was unharmed; emotionally, the scars were visible. She’d been traumatized by the incident, which hadn’t happened in previous years, and spoke then and well after of how it had broken the level of trust she had in the city, particularly during events such as the Tulip Festival.
Was her experience an anomaly? Perhaps, given those specific circumstances. However, it’s fairly representative of an overall shift in tone over the last decade from a family friendly festival to a rowdy adult party. This is due in part to the emphasis put on the free concert portion of the event and a growing population at area Festivals of twenty-somethings with little to do and even less responsibilities.
There are two truths that need to be acknowledged if we’re going to discuss this like adults: this festival always and will continue to strive to be a family-friendly event, and this isn’t a big issue for you unless you had planned on being disruptively drunk during the proceedings. Inconveniences may be encountered if you want to drink, since tents tend to be crowded, hot, and uncomfortable, particularly with impatient drunks herded in like so much cattle. There are simple solutions, though: go to a bar (it’s right on Lark Street after all), or pre-game at a nearby apartment or your own home. It is unfortunate that restrictions are needed to protect the many responsible citizens from a few reckless ne’er do wells. However, if it allows people to enjoy the event with their children and ensure their safety without having to avoid a large portion of the city, then I’m all for it. Some have been able to do so in recent years, but for every family that has there are many more that have avoided the festival entirely because of the general atmosphere and reputation it had garnered. Despite what some have tried to turn Tulip Fest into, that’s not its stated aim and objective.
There are so many opportunities in this area for people to drink in excess (Troy in particular needs another bar like it needs a bullet in the head) that I think we, as adults, can stand having to curb our drinking for one weekend in May…on Mother’s Day no less. It’s not all that out of the ordinary that changes occur when a festival gets too big for its own good and especially for the city’s resources, and it’s not unreasonable for the city to enforce pre-existing laws.
Reaction to the decision may say more about not only the climate of the region after last month’s situation in the Pine Hills neighborhood, but also those who are reacting so loudly and negatively to something that is, in the context of the Festival and its stated aims and objectives, a no-brainer.
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TA DAAAAAA
The last time I had this little hair on my head, I was crapping in my drawers and crying every time I got hungry. Okay, other than having hair, not much has changed since then.
I did the deed Sunday at the St. Baldricks event in Albany, where I met up with my good friend Emily, who showed up to give me some moral support. I chatted with a few passerbys and listened to not only one but two cover bands perform versions of Cee-Lo Green‘s “F*** You.” Except they both did it as “Forget You,” which is a crime against art. Listen, I don’t expect you to do “F*** You” at a ‘family’ event. I’m saying either do “F*** You” or don’t do it at all. Don’t cater to the censored, neutered tripe that goes on the airwaves.
After verbalizing that rant nigh verbatim to Emily, it was time to do the thing. And I did.
It feels…odd. It’s been almost 48 hours, but I still get slightly disoriented when I pass by a mirror. My hair’s also fairly thick, so I’m noticing a difference in terms of how my head feels in the open air, as if there is a consistent draft that’s brushing the sides of my skull; a sensation similar to the one you get from applying Vick’s Vapor Rub.
Got myself a hat, because I'll never remember to apply sunscreen.
It’s not really having an impact emotionally. I always had a lot of hair, but I never had a particular affinity for it. I’d considered going bald in the past, but always worried about the shape of my skull and a birthmark my mother told me about. As it turns out, the mark is on the back of my head and it’s barely noticeable. My friend Maeve is convinced that it’ll glow red if I get angry, but I’ve been having a relatively good week thus far, so that hypothesis remains untested.
As for the shape of my skull, it acually doesn’t look too bad. There’s a point at the apex that I wish was smoother, but I am as my genes made me. My brother’s got a good skull and is bald, so I should have known better.
Thanks again to all of you that donated. You ended up raising over $1,100 for childhood cancer research, which is a new record for this space. Congratulations!
If you had meant to contribute but never got around to it, it’s not too late! Click here to give.
More pictures after the jump.
UPDATE: contest closed. Congratulations to Alex, one of Kevin Marshall’s Americans. Enjoy the show!
Kevin Marshall’s America is honored to be giving away two (2) tickets to see “Jaroslaw Kapuscinski: Catch the Tiger!” live at EMPAC on Saturday, April 16th at 7:00pm.
To win the tickets, submit a comment in response to this blog post by Thursday, April 14th at 5:00pm and tell us:
Where is your favorite place (locally) to see a live event?
The winner will be chosen at random and notified by e-mail. In other words, USE YOUR REAL E-MAIL ADDRESS!
Saturday at EMPAC
In addition to providing stunning and adventurous visual art, music, and performance pieces, EMPAC (the Experimental Media and Performing Arts Center) boasts stunning architecture and even more astounding acoustics, making it literally one of the best locations on the planet to hear a concert.
The world-renowned pianist will engage the audience in a one-of-a-kind performance that is a delight to all the senses, not just the ears. From EMPAC:
Intermedia composer and pianist Jaroslaw Kapuscinski creates lighthearted and fanciful pieces in which musical instruments are used to control multimedia content. In these media compositions, he controls projections of videos and computer-generated graphics as he plays piano. The images, words, and music combine to entertain, but also provide insight into the artistic relationship between words and music. The witty integration of his virtuosic piano playing combined with a precisely timed flow of images informs his latest work, Where is Chopin?, in which he plays excerpts from Chopin’s 24 Preludes in conjunction with videos of people in various countries listening.
More information on the event and the artist, from EMPAC, is after the jump.
WIFE BEATER WEEKLY
News on Dudes who Commit Domestic Violence & the People that Pay Them
You might remember Hiram Monserrate. He was as one-half of the Democratic tag team that jumped ship to caucus with the Republicans in the State Senate and caused a stalemate that brought State government to its knees, and was put on trial after video showed him violently dragging and pushing his girlfriend out of their apartment after he allegedly slashed her in the face. Well, Hiram’s in the news again, but this time nobody’s being victimized…except, perhaps, for fans of fine cuisine! Monserrate, who was removed from the Senate last year in light of the allegations against him, is working at a pizza shop in Queens. He didn’t pound that dough, officer, it cut itself and he was just trying to get it some help!
Meanwhile, across the river, fellow knife-wielding maniac Charlie Sheen was taking a break from praising prostitutes and victimizing all other women by taking his “comedy” show to Radio City Music Hall. Shockingly, the crowd had the audacity to boo the man. Not even attacking film director Oliver Stone could turn the crowd back in his favor…and nobody likes Oliver Stone movies anymore.
—–
In all seriousness, boy oh boy. Glad to see these guys getting what’s coming to them, though I’m still a bit baffled as to why anyone would buy a ticket to see a manic drug addict ramble and spit out catchphrases, let alone one with such a terrible history of violence against women.
Lumet in 2007. Image via Wikipedia
Sad news came early Saturday morning when it was announced that film director Sidney Lumet had passed away.
Lumet was one of the foremost filmmakers in Hollywood at a time when the Director was King and given unprecedented control and room to experiment. His specialty was in gritty dramas set in New York City, potraying the most famous city in the world as it was rather than how it was glamorized by the fantasy world of Hollywood.
Lumet started his directorial career with one of my favorite films, “12 Angry Men,” which featured classic performances from Lee J. Cobb, Ed Begley, and of course Henry Fonda. It also set the tone for the rest of his career, as it was the first of many productions that were theatrical in nature, which doesn’t always translate well to the big screen. “12 Angry Men” in particular was a stunning achievement: it all takes place in a single room, yet the movement of the characters and camera work make the confined space seem like a vast and exciting landscape.
Though he explored other areas and genres, from the boardroom to broadcast news, Lumet continued to make dramas and black comedies that were rooted in real world dynamics, explored concepts of social justice, and featured protagonists struggling against larger institutions, organizations, and social mores. His films weren’t fantasy but were still fantastic. Realistic, but enthralling. Gripping, yet grounded.
He was also one of the few directors of his era (along with luminaries such as Robert Altman) that remained artistically relevant in the twilight of his life and career, with many film enthusiasts and critics such as Jeffrey Wells pointing to later work such as “Find Me Guilty” and 2007’s “Before the Devil Knows Your Dead” as some of his best.
His films put a focus on issues that appeared on the surface to be contemporary, but in hindsight are revealed as explorations of timeless struggles and truths. At times he was even clairvoyant. “Network,” one of his more famous works, used contemporary concerns with the business of network news to provide a glimpse into the future and programmed punditry such as Glenn Beck’s show on Fox News. Such as in this scene featuring a Howard Beale monologue that isn’t as famous as the iconic “Mad as Hell” speech early in the film, but is far superior and more indicative of the modern era of cable news infotainment.
Lumet’s passing comes at a bad time, one where reflection and restraint is all but outlawed by an audience that demands to be led by the hand and be given immediate gratification, creating and encouraging the Zach Snyders of the world and giving them blasphemous labels like “visionary.” Meanwhile, directors who take chances and stumble, like Lars von Trier, are forever cast as overrated and pretentious for daring to venture outside of expectations and audience demands.
Lumet came from a simpler time and background, but to call his work “simple” or “straight forward” is to overlook the genius in his execution and how uncompromising he was in his work. He could have spent the last two to three decades of his life making blockbusters with extended action sequences or flying men. Instead he remained true to himself as an artist and left behind a body of work that is wondrous to behold and will, hopefully, inspire future generations to return to a time when film was something more than a conduit for a multimedia property franchise.
Lumet was 86, and he is already missed.
Hey everyone! What’re you doing Sunday afternoon?
If you answered with anything other than “going to support childhood cancer research, have fun, win prizes and see Kevin Marshall get his head shaved,” then you are a total jerk.
Tomorrow’s the big day. Thanks to the contribution of readers like you, we’ve been able to raise a grand total of $1,097 (and counting) for childhood cancer research through St. Baldrick’s. Click here to read my reasons for doing it.
Hello generosity, goodbye hair.
I’m writing this at the Daily Grind in downtown Albany, getting a cup of coffee and having dinner with a lovely lady before I have to sequester myself in my home for the next two weeks until my hair grows back.
So take one last look, because this will be my final picture with hair…my “before,” if you will:
Because it’s gonna be GONE, baby.
So join us tomorrow, Sunday April 10th, for an afternoon of fun and celebration, and give a little if you haven’t already.
KEVIN MARSHALL LOSES HIS HEAD…OF HAIR
for ST. BALDRICK’S
- Sunday, April 10th 2011
- Savannah’s The Dublin Underground (1 South Pearl Street, corner of South Pearl & State Streets)
- Donate here: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/KevinMarshall
This Sunday, April 10th, is the St. Baldrick’s event at Savannah’s in downtown Albany. I received the schedule today and yours truly will be at Station 5 and am scheduled for a de-hairing at 3:50pm.
Again, a thank you to all the readers, friends, and family who donated to the cause and assisted us in exceeding our goal of raising $1,000 for this event. You kept up your end, so I’ll keep up mine, giant Mikhail Gorbachev birthmark or no giant Mikhail Gorbachev birthmark.
Also, don’t forget that our personal goal is exceeded by the need for more funds for childhood cancer research. So please, if you haven’t done so already, DONATE!
The St. Baldrick’s event runs from 2:00pm until 5:00pm, and if you’re so inclined, there will be plenty of opportunities for you to participate if you’d like. You can also donate at the event itself, which will include bands (not told which ones but they’ll be there), raffles, and more.
What else are you going to do, play with your X-Box? C’mon down!
KEVIN MARSHALL LOSES HIS HEAD…OF HAIR
for ST. BALDRICK’S
- Sunday, April 10th 2011
- Savannah’s The Dublin Underground (1 South Pearl Street, corner of South Pearl & State Streets)
- http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/KevinMarshall
Afterwards you can head over to Valentine’s to welcome back Sgt. Dunbar & the Hobo Banned!
Poor Hobos. They had a good run out West, but ran into numerous problems with their van that left them temporarily stranded in New Mexico. But they made it back, and they’ll trumpet their arrival with Atlantic, Pacific, and Generifus at 7:00pm in the downstairs of Valentine’s.
See y’all Sunday!
The two major political parties have reached an impasse and the federal government is headed for a shutdown. There’s always the possibility that a compromise could be met before then, but then that would mean we allow things like federal aid for poor people, and that simply cannot happen. It is, after all, unconstitutional (ref: Article 5, Section 6: Congress shall make no law impeding the journey the lower classes take to Hell).
As we rapidly approach zero hour, here’s a few helpful suggestions to get you through the shutdown and help pass the time.
Sssssshhhh. It's going to be okay, John. It's going to be okay.
PUT OUT TIP JARS FOR SOLDIERS. A government shutdown means that soldiers overseas won’t be paid. So why not set up a glass tip jar? What’s good for baristas is good for our nation’s bravest. Also, let’s put something witty on there.
START A BLOG. The real popular blogs seem to be the ones where people just take pictures of things they eat. Also popular: cantakerous blogs where you blow minor glitches in service out of proportion in the hope that businesses will apologize and give you coupons.
SET UP YOUR OWN SOUP KITCHEN. 800,000 furloughed federal employees will be unemployed if the government shuts down, which opens up great opportunities for you! Make lemon into lemonade…then serve it as a soup to all those desperate folks. By the way, you charge for soup at soup kitchens, right? Well, you do now. Anything else would be un-American (please see Article 5, Section 6 of the US Constitution).
CONVERT YOUR BACK YARD INTO A NATIONAL PARK. With national parks shutting down, people are going to need a place to go to enjoy nature and play golf on the cheap. Just be careful, because once the sun goes down, your Backyard National Park is going to be overrun by teenagers drinking beer.
CLEAN AND RE-STOCK YOUR MILLENNIUM BUNKER. It’s been over a decade since we all collectively crapped our pants about Y2K, and while our worst fears never came to light, that did leave us with plenty of concrete enclaves stocked with non-perishables. Now would be a good time to make sure your family has some post-apocalyptic preparation and protection, particularly if your soup kitchen goes belly-up due to a poor business model, rioting unemployed workers, or zombies.
GIVE TO ST. BALDRICK’S. Our personal goal has been met, but not the need! Plenty of kids still need your help. So give a little – even if it’s just five bucks – and then come on down to Savannah’s on North Pearl Street in downtown Albany on Sunday at 2:00pm to watch them shave me and other volunteers bald. There’ll be prizes, raffles, bands, and lots more. Then, later that night, join me at Valentine’s as we welcome back Sgt. Dunbar and the Hobo Banned!
FOLKS: what’re you gonna do when the government shuts down on you?
STALK ME
