Kevin Marshall's America
kanye west is the ultimate fanboy omg
In which I am kanye in every way
I don’t even know what to say.
NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT HUNGER
The second one is gold.
Firstly, in case you missed ARES Fight Night 8 last Saturday (best local boxing card top to bottom I’ve ever seen in person), select fights and highlights are going to be aired on Time Warner Cable Channel 4 on Saturday with commentators WTEN sports anchor Dan Murphy and Ring Magazine columnist and Troy Record boxing analyst Mike Rivest. It airs from 8:00pm until 9:30pm. Tune in and watch people punch each other in the face before you go out, get drunk, and watch people punch each other in the face (with far less prowess).
I covered the event for the Knick Ledger:
Count ‘Em Up, Shawn: Troy brawler scores fourth knockout at ARES Fight Night 8 in Albany
I also posted full results and analysis over on the Mixed Marshall Arts blog:
Full results for @ARESpromotions Fight Night 8 at the Empire State Plaza Convention Center
For other takes, check out coverage from The Hudsonian (page 5) and Michael Rivest’s feature story for the Troy Record.
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UPCOMING COMEDY SHOWS
FRIDAY, MARCH 16th -THE ROAST OF JENNIFER McMULLEN
@ The Comedy Lounge at Waterworks (2nd floor, 76 Central Ave Albany,NY)
THIS FRIDAY! Local comedian Jennifer McMullen gets ROASTED by her compatriots including but not limited to Shawn Gillie, Luke Donovan, Joe Dragon, Ava Kaye Levy, Kevin Marshall, Sandy Beach, Sharon Dyer, and Jennifer’s mother, Cindy McMullen! Doors open at 8:30pm and seating is limited. The event’s free, but reserved seating (highly recommended – they’re going fast!) is available for only $5 if you get them ahead of time. PLUS, if you reserve a seat in advance you get Happy Hour prices on all your drinks!
FRIDAY, MARCH 23rd – KEVIN MARSHALL, RICK CONETY, OTHERS
@ Broadway Brew (254 Broadway, Troy, NY)
FREE SHOW! Featuring myself, Rick Conety, and more TBA!
FRIDAY, MARCH 30TH – KEVIN MARSHALL & FRIENDS for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society
@ The Comedy Lounge at Waterworks (2nd floor, 76 Central Ave Albany,NY)
This is going to be a HUGE night for comedy and LLS! Chris Wessell, this big-headed guy I know (figuratively AND literally!) is in the running for LLS Man of the Year, and this is one of the major events in his campaign. Click the link above for more info and to get tickets a ($10, with drink specials!). Make sure you order them now because they’re going to go fast. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
In the last two weeks there has been a ton of false equivalency bandied about by far-right apologists and internet dunderheads shouting over discourse from the kids’ table, and it concerns what they perceive as unfair treatment of Rush Limbaugh in light of the free pass Bill Maher gets.
Let’s break this down.
Rush Limbaugh, a talk radio pundit, called a private citizen who testified before Congress about birth control a slut because she uses birth control. He also has a history of that sort of deplorable pigeon-holing and out and out bigotry, including but not limited to telling a black caller “take the bone out of your nose.”
Bill Maher, a stand-up comedian, called Sarah Palin a c*nt because she totally is.
“Waaaaaiiiiit a minu—” SHUT UP, I’m going to explain the difference.
The word “slut” is used by guys like Limbaugh to disenfranchise and belittle women as a whole who simply want to explore options other than being baby machines betrothed right out of High School. The word c*nt is used to disparage someone who’s generally mean, obnoxious, and deplorable. It’s one of the few true dirty words left, to the point that I actually censored it where otherwise I wouldn’t for other words (i.e. fuck, shit, piss, anal, Santorum), but when employed in this instance it is not meant to disparage an entire group, nor is it unfair.
Besides, we’re almost at the point where it’s a gender neutral term. In the UK it certainly is, and while you might disagree, I think the word c*nt should totally be used for guys. Like Rush Limbaugh. What a big, smelly c*nt.
Scoff and grumble if you must, but they’re not the same thing at all. And no, myself and others don’t need to acknowledge that someone or something else is “just as bad” whenever we criticize someone like Limbaugh. That attempt at deflection isn’t just specious and intellectually dishonest, it’s downright suspicious. Because why on Earth would someone even attempt the comparison unless they sympathized and/or agreed with him? Or, perhaps, they’re one of those people that think it’s actually an interesting talking point. Let me be clear: when I say “those people,” I mean idiots.
So no, calling Sarah Palin a c*nt because she’s being a c*nt is not the same as calling a private citizen a slut because she’s using birth control. Is it a poor choice of words? Yeah, probably. But not even remotely in the same ballpark, even if you get a little flustered when someone uses a word that you don’t hear very often.
Now stop defending deplorable people and get back to work.
NOTHING IS SPARED!
Not prepared emotionally to deal with seeing this today / bought tickets anyway.
Everyone that shows up for this is going to be surprised by Ashton Kutcher revealing they’ve all been Punked, right?
…right?
“In the wake of the KONY 2012 fraud, we believed it was essential that the plight of some 20,000 Ugandans displaced, some murdered by Ugandan troops, be reiterated – in hopes of highlighting the absurdity and double standards being applied by the corporate media, Hollywood, and various mouthpieces throughout Western government in regards to Africa and around the world. Real injustice as well as the real perpetrators must be fully exposed. There is real genocide being carried out in Africa, and the face of the perpetrator is not merely Joseph Kony and his child-soldiers, it is Museveni and his child soldiers, as well as corporate-fascists like Robert Devereux of the UK who had tens of thousands displaced while making deals to prop up brutal dictators like Museveni. The difference, aside from the vast scale of Museveni’s crimes compared to Kony, is the fact that Museveni gladly serves Western interests, while Kony serves more conveniently as the latest in a long line of “boogeymen” to cover up the ongoing Western plunder of Africa.” SOURCE
“Uganda’s proximity to the new country of South Sudan is key in the whole equation. So far, for Northern Sudan the LRA has been a convenient, weaponized firewall against Western puppet Museveni. But most of all, this whole area is prime real estate where the fierce battle between China and the Americans/Europeans plays out, centered on oil and minerals, all part of the Great 21st Century African Resource War.
Any student of realpolitik knows the US doesn’t do “humanitarian” interventions per se. Africom’s surge parallels the real name of the game; precious minerals – and mining. Uganda – and nearby eastern Congo – happens to hold fabulous quantities of, among others, diamonds, gold, platinum, copper, cobalt, tin, phosphates, tantalite, magnetite, uranium, iron ore, gypsum, beryllium, bismuth, chromium, lead, lithium, niobium and nickel. Many among these are ultra-precious rare earth – of which China exercises a virtual monopoly.The mineral rush in Africa is already one of the great resource wars of the 21st century.China is ahead, followed by companies from India, Australia, South Africa and Russia (which, for instance, has set up a fresh gold refinery in Kampala). The West is lagging behind. The name of the game for the US and the Europeans is to pull no punches to undermine China’s myriad commercial deals all across Africa.
Then there’s the inescapable Pipelineistan angle. Uganda may hold “several billion barrels of oil”, according to Heritage Oil’s Paul Atherton, part of a recent, largest-ever on-shore oil discovery in sub-Saharan Africa. That implies the construction of a $1.5 billion, 1,200 kilometer long pipeline to Kampala and the coast of Kenya. Then there’s another pipeline from “liberated” South Sudan. Washington wants to make sure that all this oil will be exclusively available for the US and Europe.”
…I and others aren’t just pulling the concern over Stop Kony 2012 out of our more cynical orifices.
My frustration with the group has largely reflected the concerns expressed so convincingly by those online critics who have been willing to bring the fury of Invisible Children’s true believers down upon themselves in order to point out what is wrong with this group’s approach: the warmongering, the narcissism, the commercialisation, the reductive and one-sided story they tell, their portrayal of Africans as helpless children in need of rescue by white Americans.
As a result of Invisible Children’s irresponsible advocacy, civilians in Uganda and central Africa may have to pay a steep price in their own lives so that a lot of young Americans can feel good about themselves, and a few can make good money. This, of course, is sickening, and I think that Kony 2012 is a case of Invisible Children having finally gone too far. They are now facing a backlash from people of conscience who refuse to abandon their capacity to think for themselves.
Read more from senior research fellow at the Makerere Institute of Social Research, Uganda, assistant professor of political science at San Diego State University, and author of Displacing Human Rights: War and Intervention in Northern Uganda, Adam Branch.
And at any age, you’re a fucking moron.
http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1
If you haven’t seen the special sneak peek of the Comedy Bang! Bang! TV show on IFC, here it is! It stars Hot Saucerman, of course, and Reggie Watts with guest appearances by Adam Scott and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber (Paul F. Thompkins with his cape!). I may be biased but I thought it looked amazing. Scott and crew did an awesome job. Heads up for Dr. Reginald Watts. Awesome!
YESSSSSSSSSSS
(Source: http://c.brightcove.com/)
I’ve been dragging my feet for so damned long on getting my own business card, so I’m to the moon with what the guys at Design It Together designed with input from yours truly.
The design
finished product
The concept is based on an old Victorian newspaper advertisement I came across recently. The stilted language, no-nonsense marketing, shameless bally-hoo from ads in that era always intrigued me, and I wanted a business card that was analogous to my style of stand-up. And this is: a bit stilted and shameless in its self-promotion; absurdist but also sharp.
The pictures don’t really do it justice. I’m super thrilled with how they came out and can’t recommend these guys enough.
Design It Together is Ben Karis-Nix (formerly of The Orange) and Taylor “T Bones” Gillis. Their website is HERE, and make sure you also like them on Facebook. Their shop is located on the Market Block on River Street, right next to Anchor No. 5.
The drawing of me was done by the one and only Sticker Machine.
STALK ME
