Kevin Marshall's America
That week-long cold I’d alluded to Friday caught up with me in a bad way over the weekend. By Saturday I was talking in a hushed whisper like Morrissey’s vocals in “Lifeguard Drowning, Girl Sleeping.” By Sunday, I’d lost my voice and needed to pick and choose my spots in order to speak.
Yesterday (Monday) I had to call in to work. In addition to completely losing my voice if I spoke for more than twenty seconds, I had developed a cough in the evening that kept me up for the better part of the night. It was one of those annoying tickles that no amount of tea, honey, lemon, or other soothing concoctions could remove. I’d lay in bed and just when I found myself on the precipice of REM sleep*, I’d be jolted awake by a coughing fit.
After calling into work, I decided to try to get some sleep. I woke up a couple hours later and called my doctor’s office, but got a pre-recorded message saying it was closed. I knew that wasn’t right, so I called again. After a third phone call I left a message, but after two hours didn’t hear anything back.
"WHO'S THIS?!"
So I gave it some time and called again in the afternoon. The phone rang three times and a woman picked up.
“Please hold.” *click*
I held.
*click* “Who’s this?!”
I was stunned and didn’t know how to respond. My first reaction was to say my name, but she doesn’t know who Kevin Marshall is. We didn’t get far enough to establish that.
So I squeaked out the only response I could muster: “Uh…a patient?”
After thirty of the most awkward seconds I’ve ever had on a telephone, I got through to someone else and made an appointment. It, too, was not without its travails. We had an exchange that led to me getting in to see a physician’s assistant, which is all I wanted in the first place. Yet it took far longer than it should have.
It was like a bad comedy skit. I’d laugh if I could.
And it all started because someone apparently doesn’t know how to use a telephone.
Listen, folks. If you have a phone at your work, answer it with “[Place of work], how can I help you?” Or even “This is [your name], how can I help you?” Or even “Ghostbusters, yeah, whaddaya want?”
Anything – ANYTHING – except “Who’s this?”
Because the next time it happens, you’re gonna know who I am.
* REM Sleep – The stage of sleep that’s supposedly great and influential, yet you find yourself pathologically forgetting it exists.
I’ve seen a lot of false equivalency being tossed around lately, and not just on this blog.
A few examples:
- On the blog post about the teenager who came out to her classmates during an assembly, numerous people made the point that what she did wasn’t brave or heroic because she’s not a soldier.
- In response to my recent post about e-cigarettes, which was written to make a tongue-in-cheek observation about the creepy guys who smoke them at the kiosks in Crossgates, several people implied that I would rather have people keep smoking cigarettes than use e-cigarettes.
- In a recent blog post by Amanda Talar, a debate rose when someone put the idea forth that the concerns and inconvenience posed to non-smokers by those who smoke were inconsequential because people eat pizza and drink soda.
A bit unfair to the commenters in question? Perhaps, but let’s look at this from a case by case basis.
In the first example, there are various things that can make someone heroic. To imply that someone can only be heroic if they’re serving in the military is to wholly ignore the history of the United States. Heroes come in various shapes and sizes and do things to varying degrees that can affect change and inspire others. To say that any person is not heroic because they are not in the United States military is nothing more than shallow pandering and does not negate the actions of someone who’s not a soldier.
In the second example, various people (mostly people who run e-cig forums that sell the damn things – in hindsight I’m not sure why I didn’t just trash them) made the claim that the ONLY way they are able to quit smoking is through the use of E-cigs. As in, it’s either smoke or use e-cigs, but nothing in-between. As I pointed out, that’s bollocks.
In the third example – again involving smoking – a commenter implied that American non-smokers basically don’t have the right to discuss the issue of smoking because there are other unhealthy practices, particularly with food. The argument is a borderline non-sequitur, but I’ve read it many, many times before.
All three are examples of false equivalency: a logical fallacy wherein someone debates and/or attempts to negate a point by drawing a parallel to a completely unrelated point.
I don’t blame the individuals who posit these arguments so much as the general tone of the internet and television punditry. When relating a point to a person, the easiest thing to do is to put it in terms they’ll understand, and the easiest way to do this is to draw a comparison to something you know a person is familiar with and will evoke an immediate reaction.
Problem is, the need to pathologically dissect complex points and discussions into brief, entertaining snippets lends itself to anywhere from incomplete to wildly inaccurate comparisons. To wit: any concerns raised on e-cigarettes is moot because the alternative is smoking real cigarettes, a person’s not a hero because she does not wear a military uniform and carry a gun, and people can’t complain about the smokers in the apartment next door stinking up their apartment because Americans eat too much pizza.
This sort of thing is exactly why you see so many comment sections here at the Times Union and elsewhere go completely off the rails of the original point of the post and/or the discussion at hand.
My suggestion? Stop and think. If you don’t agree with something, start from the point itself. Argue what the author is saying. For example (even though I’m only about 75% convinced): e-cigarettes aren’t dangerous because the actual chemicals contained therein and the “smoke” they emit are harmless to the individual inhaling the chemicals and to others.
Then – here’s the important part – stop. Leave it there. Don’t then say “otherwise, if people don’t smoke e-cigarettes they will DIE.” Not true. Plenty of people have and continue to quit smoking using various other methods.
So the next time you’re trying to make a point and draw a shaky comparison, don’t get frustrated with the response or lack thereof. Rather, sit back and think to yourself “wait, is there really any correlation between the demolition of Troy’s City Hall and genocide?”
If the answer’s no, then there’s probably a better way to express your point. In fact, you probably already did, but it’s going to be completely wiped out once you keep going and draw that false equivalency that completely negates any faith people have in your ability to provide a reasonable counterpoint.
Otherwise, instead of making a point, you become the Adolf Hitler of the comments section. And nobody likes an Adolf Hitler.
Hey, everybody has a bad week once in awhile.
Before we begin: please take ten seconds out of your day to vote to revitalize downtown Troy in the Pepsi Refresh project. Let’s do this! Every vote counts, and there’s only a few days left. Hurry!
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AWESOME STUFF WEEKEND!
Tonight (Friday): Troy Night Out. Come enjoy Troy tonight and every last Friday of the month! For info, visit TroyNightOut.org.
Tomorrow (Saturday): Exit Dome 4. Headlined by Phantogram and featuring The Charlie Watts Riots, Bryan Thomas, Que Caro, Slender Shoulders, and Nancy Walker. For tickets & more, visit WEXT’s website. Gonna be a blast!
This week – Seth Myers coming to the Capital Region, John McLoughlin’s departure, and nobody puts Amanda Talar in a corner. This…is Blogorama.
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WE’RE YOUR SOURCE: This Week on the Times Union Blogs
Seth Myers to co-host Disability Services Telethon (Arts Talk)
Poll: NYS Flips for Marriage Equality (Libby Post)
TeenV with Greg Aidala (High School Blog)
John McLoughlin Resigns from WTEN (The Buzz)
How Does Barack Obama’s Social Media Presence Compare to Yours? (Albany / Vincent Barr)
I’m Not a Baby (Amanda Talar)
Elaine Stritch and The Big Reveal (Davenport Chronicles)
Jay Martinez: A Light Outside the Limelight (Boxing in the Capital Region)
Video: Pitbulls Adopts, Loves Kitty (Dog-Owned Life)
Real [Fit] Life Challenge: The Participants (Real [Fit] Life)
Questioning an Injured Athlete’s Heart Says More About Us (Mark McGuire)
More amazingness is after the jump.
Things get dark in Suez. (Photo: Associated Press)
MSNBC has an interesting piece on the bloggers of Egypt and the effect they’ve had on the current nigh-revolt occurring in the country this week.
Here, we’re just random folks writing stuff in order to help you pass your day and vent your workplace frustrations in a barely constructive manner. But the general tone of this and other blogs betrays the potential power of the medium, particularly in developing nations where leisurely social network sites like Facebook are increasing civic awareness amongst a large segment of youth that has been largely kept in the dark about its government and their role in the world for the better part of their lives.
Egypt is just one of many nation-states where the increase in population over the course of several decades has finally come back to bite them. Where before they claimed power in numbers, those numbers now speak and the establishment aren’t liking what they hear.
Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak has ruled the country for thirty years, but his grip has loosened with increased opposition from the country’s youth. Egypt, like so many other countries in the region such as Iran, boasts a population that is overwhelmingly young.
The median age in Egypt is 26.
The anger and frustration of Egyptian youth can be traced back to 2008, when the Egyptian government violently suppressed a textile worker protest in Malhalla. As a result, much of the youth of the country took to Facebook, using it and other social media platforms to form groups such as the April 6th Youth Movement (named after the date of the violent anti-protest initiative).
The recent Tunisian revolt as well as dispatches leaked by the organization Wikileaks exacerbated the situation and have brought things to a head.
Mubarak, once considered a strategic ally of the United States, finds himself under siege. Image via Wikipedia
The leaked documents include correspondence that reveals the special relationship Mubarak has enjoyed with the U.S. has softened in the past couple years, with increased pressure put on him to introduce further reforms and initiate change that would make the country appear more Democratic than its current model.
Yesterday, on the eve of what’s been dubbed “The Day of Rage,” the Egyptian government cut off most phone and internet service. Information and data ceased moving in and out of the country at 5:30 yesterday afternoon (shortly after midnight their time), though updates are still getting out through the aid of dissidents in and around the country.
Despite claims by the Egyptian government that the conservative Muslim Brotherhood group was behind the protests, much of it seems to be decentralized and part of a wider coalition that brings groups like the Muslim Brotherhood together with left-leaning dissidents in the country.
More info: Violent clashes erupt in Egypt (MSNBC.com)
One can only wonder, however, what that means for real change and reform. Recent history has shown that lacking a central voice and leadership, a revolt lead by anger and frustration can quickly be co-opted by another equally suppressive regime.
An interesting story and something to keep an eye on as the day progresses, as we could be witnessing the early embers of a historic moment…for better or for worse.
Two weeks ago today, on the precipice of a three-day weekend, Maria Carillo High School in Santa Rosa, California held its annual Martin Luther King, Jr. assembly.
As the students, faculty, staff and administrators present prepped themselves for what I’m sure they thought would be a pedestrian remembrance ceremony, High School senior Kayla Kearney was waiting in the wings. What she did, and the words she spoke, rank amongst the the bravest and most inspiring things I’ve seen.
Surely, it’s better than anything I ever did in High School in front of a room full of people.
See the complete video below.
It's like a cigarette...but ELECTRONIC!
You may have seen the commercials that encourage you to replace your dirty, filthy cigarette habit with a healthier option: the e-cigarette.
The idea is that you can continue feeding your addiction to nicotine without the harmful side effects of actually smoking tobacco. The devices, which are often designed to look like real cigarettes, are battery-powered and provide a vaporized solution that imitates the sensation of smoking.
It’s starting to run into trouble, however, with advocates who say that it not only encourages people to keep smoking but also hooks kids at a younger age. A proposed bill would ban e-cigarettes in New York State.
Me, I’d need a lot more information about the product and its effects before I make a judgement on them. It might help to find out what’s actually in the damn things, though its manufacturers haven’t exactly been forthcoming on that matter.
I will say, though, that they should be banned in Crossgates Mall.
One of the Mall’s kiosks peddles e-cigarettes, and is manned by two guys who look like Eastern European hitmen blowing smoke everywhere as they stalk around the kiosk. They look like joyless thugs. I suppose this should make me want to buy them?
Well, it doesn’t. It looks awful and they make me feel uncomfortable and I want them gone.
January 26th is Kevin Marshall’s birthday! Celebrate by saying something online you’ll regret.
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ALSO ON THIS DATE:
1870 – Virginia rejoins the Union during the American Civil War.
1992 – Boris Yeltsin announces Soviet Union no longer targeting US with nukes. Thanks, bud!
OTHER PEOPLE CELEBRATING A BIRTHDAY:
Jean-Baptiste Pigalle, French sculptor. Born in 1785. Deceased (unless he’s a vampire and we never found out).
Gen. Douglas MacArthur, born in 1880. Deceased.
Paul Newman, American actor. Born in 1925. Deceased.
Gordon Solie, greatest wrestling commentator of all-time. Born in 1929. Dead.
Bob Uecker, actor and alleged professional baseball player. 76 years young!
Gene Siskel, film critic. Born in 1946. Deceased.
Lucinda Williams, musician and national treasure. 58 years young!
Eddie Van Halen, one of the world’s best and most obnoxious guitarists. 56 years young!
Road Warrior Animal, survivor of the professional wrestling industry. 51 years young!
Anita Baker, singer. 53 years young!
Ellen Degeneres, daytime television host and spontaneous dancer. 53 years young!
Wayne Gretzky, former member of Pro Stars. 50 years young!
Kirk Franklin, America’s best and coolest Gospel artist. 41 years young!
Vince Carter, NBA basketball star. 34 years young!
Sara Rue, actress. 32 years young!
Brian Fallon of The Gaslight Anthem 31 years young!
Last night, President Barack Obama (who people refer to online and/or in writing as POTUS like he’s their favorite jam band or something) delivered his annual State of the Union address in front of an awkward House forced to sit next to their political rivals.
C'mon, smile, damnit!
The move was meant to reflect an increased emphasis on cooperation as opposed to sniping. The message was clear: the election is over and what’s passed is past. Now it’s time to get to work.
Seating Democrats and Republicans next to each other eliminated the visual we’re used to seeing of half the room (the sitting President’s political party) rising to give every clearing of the throat a standing ovation while the other half of the room (the opposing party) sits on their hands with a disapproving look on their faces. The more cynically-minded will say that mixing them together gave the speech the appearance of being more fully embraced than it was, since you had people throughout the room standing as opposed to just one section. That could be the case, but regardless, I appreciated the gesture, shallow and moot as it may have been.
Boehner takes fish very serious. (photo: Associated Press)
The speech itself seemed a bit forced at first, but eventually Obama did what he does best and sold us popsicles in the midst of an icestorm. He even told a joke!
“The Interior Department is in charge of salmon while they’re in fresh water, but the Commerce Department handles them when they’re in saltwater. I hear it gets even more complicated once they’re smoked.”
Cue forced laughter!
The common criticism I’m reading from the right is that it was a prepared political speech.
By the way, John Boehner, please stop doing whatever you’re doing that’s making you so orange. Just looking at you I get dehydrated.
Rep. Paul Ryan delivering the Republican response. You just figured out Obama's agenda, America, because you're very smart!
The State of the Union was followed by the Republican response, delivered by Representative Paul Ryan (R-WI). Let’s just say that although he didn’t top Lousiana Governor Bobby Jindal‘s super-awkward Conductor at Shining Time Station response last year, he came damn close. His delivery was stilted and wholly unbelievable. I thought for a moment I was watching a local commercial and kept waiting for him to tell us about all the mattresses he has on sale this week at his Mattress Outlet.
Note to politicians: we can stop talking about how great America is every two to three minutes. Imagine if someone you know talked to you like politicians talk to us, pathologically complimenting you and calling you great. That’d be super awkward, right?
But in terms of awkwardness, we hadn’t seen anything yet, because in addition to the GOP response was the Tea Party response. I thought it was odd that a grass-roots movement that prides itself on having no central leadership had an official response and an official spokesperson.
Did you ever start talking to someone, then realize about two minutes in that they were nuts but couldn't find a diplomatic way to leave the conversation quickly? That was Michele Bachmann's "Tea Party Response" last night. (photo: Associated Press)
Then Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) started speaking, and boy did everything else seem a little less odd in comparison. After I realized I wasn’t watching a cable access program, I had to come to grips with the fact that they were not going to get a chance to correct her and let her know that she was looking off to the right instead of directly at the camera. Her tone was nagging as she showed various slides, phony charts, and images that were so hackneyed that “Ross Perot” became a trending topic on Twitter.
Highlights of the speech can be seen here.
It was a strange night indeed, made even stranger by Bachmann’s decision to ruin her political career by trying to big-time Paul Ryan and the rest of the GOP with a patronizing and amateurish effort that made her look like the town crank that tries to take the mic at every City Council meeting.
At the end of the evening, people wondered aloud what the Founding Fathers would say if they could see us today.
I think they’d say “hey, what’s Tom Jefferson’s half-slave son doing talking to Congress?” Then they’d see a car and freak out.
From my Facebook news feed:
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I was a little bummed that she caught it before I did. But as it turns out, it’s still there as of this writing:
…
Yeah, look out, Becky.
Update 11:15pm – They tweeted again and “rape” is still there.
Update January 25th 9:20am – And it’s still there.
Update January 25th 12:08pm – …and it’s still there. Maybe “rape” is some new form of music performed by terrible people.
Update January 25th 1:20pm – It’s finally changed to “rap.” Our long regional nightmare is over.
Can I, an adult male, switch teams?
Sorry, gay guys of the Capital Region, but I’m talking about sports here.
I grew up a Yankees fan, due to my father’s fandom and the presence of the Albany/Colonie Yankees. I have fond memories of seeing games there, and remember vividly going to Heritage Park for – no joke – Kevin Maas day.
Nick Swisher, Melky Cabrera, and Robinson Cano: I hardly knew ye? (photo: Associated Press)
In recent years, however, I’ve found myself out of tune with baseball, a sport I used to love.
The assumption would be that it’s attributable to the PED scandal, but I’m not that naive. I was one of the few people I knew who suggested McGwire, Sosa, Canseco and others were on ‘roids well before the records were shattered. See, my baseball fandom came second only to my pro wrestling fandom, and we know a juicer when we see one. Besides, if you think that the NFL was and is clean, even comparatively speaking, then I have Twin Bridges to sell you.
What it comes down to, I think, is a completely dispassionate approach that comes with me being a Yankee fan.
The Yankees win. No, they don’t win the World Series every year, but they win it often enough to make it seem like not much of a struggle. I know they’re going to be in it, at least, and that really with what all their resources there’s an expectation – not a hope or desire – that they’ll win. Although they built up a good system in the 1990s, in the last decade the Yankees is a team that was signed, not built. Acquisitions like Randy Johnson and others were band-aids that worked to an extent, but not one that got me thrilled or excited for the future. Where’s the fun in that?
Then there are my fellow Yankee fans. Don’t even get me started.
So what do you think, readers? As an adult, am I allowed to switch teams and go from being a Yankees fan to, say….a Chicago Cubs fan?
The Cubs celebrate one of their own hitting a double.
Oh,those woeful Cubs! Those seemingly cursed, mismanaged, unfortunate Cubs.
Now there’s a team with personality and history; a team I can get emotionally invested in. I want a team that will invariably disappoint me, but that I can have fun carrying at least some modicum of hope for. Sure, Cubs fans think of themselves as long-suffering, but their love and devotion for their team is much stronger than anything I’ve encountered related to the Bronx Bombers.
Give me old Wrigley Field over the new and improved Yankee stadium any day.
So what you say, readers? Am I allowed to “switch teams” as an adult, or do I stay a Yankees fan and essentially walk away from my baseball fandom?
Vote below.
[poll id=”3″]
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See also: “An Exception to the ‘Adults Can’t Change Teams’ Rule?” on Mark McGuire’s blog
STALK ME
