Kevin Marshall's America
"We have to avenge Duke. He's...he's in a coma."
I’d heard it tested poorly, but I had no idea that one of the main things that they need to go back and change is that test audiences were upset that Duke, played by Channing Tatum, died in the beginning of the film.
That’s right. THEY’RE UNDOING DUKE’S DEATH. AGAIN.
The fact is that Paramount became extremely concerned about G.I. Joe 2‘s box office prospects worldwide after test scores were mediocre to bad. Reshoots were needed. Plus, the moguls realized what a complete miscalculation it was to kill off Channing Tatum in the sequel. And even more so at the start of the film. You will remember that Tatum wasn’t a star when the first G.I. Joe was released. But since then his back-to-back successes in The Vow and 21 Jump Street have made him into a draw. And it turned out that the only bright spot for audiences as a result of the G.I. Joe 2 testing was the aborted relationship between Tatum and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. Plus look at the movie poster for Retaliation: you wouldn’t even know Tatum is in the sequel. Now the movie is being reworked – and reshoots don’t lose a valuable leading man like Tatum by killing him off.
Fucking. Hilarious.
In case you miss the reference, the death of Duke in the animated “GI Joe: The Movie” had to be undone in post-production because kids were very, VERY upset. Their fix was to add lines of VO dialogue where someone notes “he went into a coma” and, during the victory celebration after the climatic battle with Cobra, someone randomly yells out something like “Duke’s gonna be okay!”
They should’ve just done the same thing here. That would’ve been awesome.
Well, anyway, this film’s going to be even worse than the first one and anybody that thought otherwise needs to have their head examined. A big problem with the first film is that it was one of the goofiest films I’ve ever seen, and yet it still somehow managed to be completely and utterly joyless. If it had been done on purpose, I would consider it art.
Fun fact: I tend to find women to be funnier than men, especially in day to day conversation.
This is probably due to the fact that 1. I am a sissy and 2. I grew up with three older sisters, all of whom have a very strong sense of humor. My brother does as well, but he’s outnumbered. 3 to 1. In case for some reason you’re only just now starting to pay attention.
Anyway, I say this because I identify probably a bit too much with this video from Garfunkel & Oates called 29 vs. 31.
OTHER HOT NEWS:
Got a show coming up in Troy. No, not the one in July, but one in June. Scratch that – TWO! One in a place where Dan Deacon once performed!
STAY TUNED
Hey folks,
Just a quick reminder that today is not Veteran’s Day. It’s Memorial Day.
A lot of you are out there making that mistake. I haven’t kept count on the number of times I’ve heard people make references to veterans, or talk about celebrating veterans, or what have you. Sadly, I think even if I had tried, I would have lost count.
Memorial Day is intended for us to reflect, honor, and yes, mourn those that made the ultimate sacrifice in service of their country. It’s not for the living veteran, it’s for the dead soldier.
This isn’t a simple matter of semantics. It’s an important distinction owed not just for the sake of preserving the original intent of the holiday, but for those families of soldiers that have someone missing at their annual cookout.
Perhaps more apt to say those people. As in loud-mouthed idiots.
"Jango? That can't be your real name, and you can't actually believe these stupid things, can you?"
The Gothamist has the full story on Bob Dylan’s appearance on WBAI radio in 1966 where he decided, against his best judgement, to take calls live on the air. It goes about as well as you’d expect.
It’s the mouth-breathers you’d expect. What’s remarkable, though, is how similar it is to what you read in the comments section of blogs and online articles; people who don’t really have a particularly unique perspective, solid critique, or original idea in their heads, but convince themselves otherwise before dialing in to the station. And forty years later, their children and grandchildren are leaving comments.
The times, they aren’t a-changin’ all that much.
As you may or may not know, I have another blog called Mixed Marshall Arts covering the world of combat sports & entertainment: MMA, boxing, and pro wrestling. Here’s a list of what’s gone down recently…
- Picks for UFC 146: Fat Guys, Fatter Lips!
Even though I maintain that the real money division in MMA is Light Heavyweight (it has been since the late 90s and will continue to be for the foreseeable future), the Heavyweights are still a major draw. People will always be impressed with big men who kick ass, plus it’s always re-assuring … Continue reading →
- More on ESPN2 Friday Night Fights from the Times Union Center: the Attendance was Dreadful
Firstly, Pete Dougherty with the Times Union has a video up with an interesting montage of what goes down behind the scenes the day before and during the televised broadcast. Also, for those who missed the event, here’s my real-time live blogging of the event. Trust me, it’s a quicker … Continue reading →
- Jon Jones’ Psuedo-Apology for DUI is Appalling
I’m not one to hate on Jon Jones. As a matter of fact, I’ve been one of those people from the beginning that has always been taken aback at all of the animosity towards him. I always thought he was just one of those guys that wasn’t what people wanted … Continue reading →
- Star Boxing/ESPN2 Friday Night Fights Post-Fight Press Conference 5/18/2012
Promoter Joe DeGuardia talks to the media following Star Boxing’s second event at the Times Union Center, broadcast live on ESPN2′s Friday Night Fights. Joining him are NABO Jr. Welterweight Champion Karim Mayfield, challenger Tito Serrano, Jason Escalera, and Nick Brinson. Story filed with the Knick Ledger; will post when … Continue reading →
- Live blog: ESPN2′s Friday Night Fights live at the Times Union Center
Welcome to live coverage of ESPN2′s Friday Night Fights, emanating from the Times Union Center in Albany, NY. The event will be Star Boxing’s second foray into promoting at the Times Union Center, with their first event marking the return of boxing to the facility in over a decade. The … Continue reading →
“Just returned from a wonderful long weekend in the Cape. One last week of off-peak prices before the heathens descend. Glorious”
Although readers will have to wait until sometime in June — perhaps not coincidentally, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month — to learn which established DC Comics character will be reintroduced as gay, we already know at least two details: It’s a major character (better luck next time, Doll Man), and it’s a guy.
“One of the major iconic DC characters will reveal that he is gay in a storyline in June,” Courtney Simmons, DC Entertainment’s senior vice president of publicity, confirmed to ABC News following the weekend revelation by Co-Publisher Dan DiDio that the formerly heterosexual figure will become “one of our most prominent gay characters.”
Maybe it’s just me, but I’m a bit torn over how DC is handling this. On the one hand, it’s good for kids, particularly gay ones, to see a gay “major character” (as we know from past applications this term is subjective to the point of absurdity). Comics are on the extreme end of the escapist entertainment spectrum, so it’s good to have a character that kids seeking a respite from day to day life can identify with. It has the potential to be comforting and inspiring.
And yet, the way it’s being hyped and teased comes across as DC whoring off what could be a very therapeutic and comforting thing for kids and turning it into a months-long tease to sell books. It almost borders on self-parody. I can see the posters now, with various characters silhouetted and “Who’s the Gay?!” in big bold letters.
To me it stinks of being exploitative and disingenuous. I think the bigger issue, though, is that it evokes an aura of mystery and suspicion that might not really be healthy and, as such, might be self-defeating. If there is any intent towards using this character to make people comfortable with gay people, challenge bigots, and especially help gay kids, it might be beneficial for Didio et al not to turn this into ballyhoo. Homosexuals struggle enough with acceptance and civil rights, so they might not be keen on being portrayed – even unintentionally – as a sideshow attraction.
The best thing in this sort of situation, IMO, is to not say anything until the character debuts. Put out that issue and have the character be gay. Then put out a press release the day and/or week that issue comes out that, in short, says “yep, deal with it.”
Of course, that’s my take on it, and given that I’m merely an observer it needs to be taken with a grain of salt and is of course open to any and all criticism. Would love to hear the take from those of you that identify as LGBT.
Ilya Repin, Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivan on November 16, 1581, 1885
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